Just noticed your second posting - amazing how similar our thoughts are! Your husband means well but .... Good luck!
I'm wondering if you are dealing with OCD - one of the anxiety disorders. I'm not sure if a therapist is the correct specialist - perhaps a medical pediatric mental health specialist as a child psychiatrist or child neurologist might be a wiser choice (your pediatrician or family doctor should be able to give you a referral to such a doctor). Then, if required, this medical doctor would be able to prescribe medication (therapists and psychologists can not deal with the medication issue) and considering the family history, that is a possibility. Finally, if therapy and/or intervention is required, this medical person can refer you and your son to that specialty.
Our child was diagnosed at six years of age with severe anxiety and depression so I understand your plight. However, anxiety in young children is highly treatable and with early intervention, the prognosis can be excellent. Today, our child is doing extremely well. By the way, having difficulty listening and following instructions is a very common issue with our children as their minds tend to dwell on every distraction in the classroom and thus, learning is very difficult for them. But, this can improve with proper treatment. In our situation, the teacher felt that our child suffered from ADD/ADHD - behaviours of anxiety tend to mimic this disorder. I feel for you as we have travelled the road you are about to enter but - there is light at the end of the tunnel. All the best to you and your son ....