Aa
STEPMOM FRUSTERATED
Almost a year ago my husband has got his daughter Brianna very other week for 7 day then her mom gets her 7 days. Well the thing is when we have Brainna I do everything from taking her to the doctor to going to meet her teacher and I dont have a problem with it until her mom decided that I can do all of this on her week also. Now me and my husband do not ask her for anything when we have her. Her mom is always telling us that she doesnt have money for clothes, shoes and also school supplies before it started. So I went out and bought all of Brianna school supplies but I told my husband that we cant afford to buy clothes for her house because we already have to do it here. She also feels that I should get Brianna on and off the bus everyday even when it is her responiblity to take care of it. She said that I should because I already get my son on the bus. I am starting to feel like a babysitter instead of her stepmom.
When I was getting Bri on and off the bus she would drop her off at 7 the bus would come until almost 9 and she wouldnt pick her up from 1 to 4 hours after Bri was off the bus. And she would get mad when I call her to come pick Bri up. She has never once thanked me and that really pisses me off.
So my husband told bri mom that she would have to find someone else to do it. She got so pissed that she called my mother in law and her boyfriend bitching about me and what a ***** i am because i wont get bri on and off the bus. So I called her and needless to say it wasnt pretty.
So I am wrong for her to take care of bri on the weeks that she has her................please let me know
When I was getting Bri on and off the bus she would drop her off at 7 the bus would come until almost 9 and she wouldnt pick her up from 1 to 4 hours after Bri was off the bus. And she would get mad when I call her to come pick Bri up. She has never once thanked me and that really pisses me off.
So my husband told bri mom that she would have to find someone else to do it. She got so pissed that she called my mother in law and her boyfriend bitching about me and what a ***** i am because i wont get bri on and off the bus. So I called her and needless to say it wasnt pretty.
So I am wrong for her to take care of bri on the weeks that she has her................please let me know
Rebbecca.....
YOU SAY "We do buy clothes, shoes and everything elses that she needs when she is here but we also have 2 other childern to buy for and we cant afford it" What if..... Bri could stay with you forever full time? Would you decline because "you cant afford it"?
Did this mother suddenly become uncaring for her daughter and she was peaches and cream before you got married and had children with your husband? Did you not see this coming? Bri needs your financial support whether at home or at your home. You can easily ( to help with BRIs needs) buy her gently used nice things for her mothers house. just think how wonderful she feels coming to your house with all the wonderful things you buy for her, then to go back to her mothers and not have that......she will continue to love her mother regardless of what she can buy her but, she will feel so much comfort having clothes and toys and such at her moms house, and thats what should be considered, BRIs well being and feelings.
You continue to say about the mother....... "its her responsibily" and "i just want her to take care of her when its her week" ........You seem bitter to me, i know you say its towards the mother however you seem to take it out on Bri ( not directly but enough to effect her) to me its obvious.
Like......... you are having someone else get Bri from the bus stop, because you werent
" thanked" and it wasnt your week. ........(it effects her)..........
Why do you care if the mom doesnt come till late after school? The longer Bri has with your stable family and love the better for Bri. It shouldnt annoy you but, you call and have her mother come pick her up...........(.it effects her..)........ i mean if she has to stay for dinner, cook her a darn dinner and if her mom wants to take her home...tell her she can wait inside or in the car till your family is done. If she gets pissed who cares...she shouldve been there on time.
Rebbecca you cannot change other people, only yourself.
You could make such a difference in her life. Try and adjust your life to make it better for Bri . Your in the position to do it
If her mother cant give her what she needs perhaps its time to get full custody
She needs you.
.
Good Luck
YOU SAY "We do buy clothes, shoes and everything elses that she needs when she is here but we also have 2 other childern to buy for and we cant afford it" What if..... Bri could stay with you forever full time? Would you decline because "you cant afford it"?
Did this mother suddenly become uncaring for her daughter and she was peaches and cream before you got married and had children with your husband? Did you not see this coming? Bri needs your financial support whether at home or at your home. You can easily ( to help with BRIs needs) buy her gently used nice things for her mothers house. just think how wonderful she feels coming to your house with all the wonderful things you buy for her, then to go back to her mothers and not have that......she will continue to love her mother regardless of what she can buy her but, she will feel so much comfort having clothes and toys and such at her moms house, and thats what should be considered, BRIs well being and feelings.
You continue to say about the mother....... "its her responsibily" and "i just want her to take care of her when its her week" ........You seem bitter to me, i know you say its towards the mother however you seem to take it out on Bri ( not directly but enough to effect her) to me its obvious.
Like......... you are having someone else get Bri from the bus stop, because you werent
" thanked" and it wasnt your week. ........(it effects her)..........
Why do you care if the mom doesnt come till late after school? The longer Bri has with your stable family and love the better for Bri. It shouldnt annoy you but, you call and have her mother come pick her up...........(.it effects her..)........ i mean if she has to stay for dinner, cook her a darn dinner and if her mom wants to take her home...tell her she can wait inside or in the car till your family is done. If she gets pissed who cares...she shouldve been there on time.
Rebbecca you cannot change other people, only yourself.
You could make such a difference in her life. Try and adjust your life to make it better for Bri . Your in the position to do it
If her mother cant give her what she needs perhaps its time to get full custody
She needs you.
.
Good Luck
I just want to say YOUR RIGHT, geez, RockRose is all over the boards causing more problems than needed..Everythings an argument, so just forget what shes started, you dont need any more problems,SHES LIKE A KID HERSELF....
Anyways, I do agree that it is unfair that you are doing all of the work, caring for ALL 3 kids, and not getting the same respect from the other side. But when mothers act irresponsibly and jealous, this is how they treat not only the "other" mother, but sadly the child/children too. It is a terrible that Bri has to suffer so much from her mother that she is trying to get the love from, but mothers are gold in childrens eyes. You are doing a wonderful thing in caring for her, and it is your right to excpect that the mother care as much as you do. Sadly though, I think her mother is bitter towards the positive things and wonderful family you have created, and she will only continue to do things at her daughters cost. I think your husband and you should either implament that the mother be responsible for her daughter when she has her, and that goes for clothing,food,activities,pick up and drop offs and etc, or she should be made to only have her daughter every other weekend. She is obviously not thinking of her own daughters safety when she leaves her by the bus stop for all those long hours by herself, its allmost a pathetic way to try to get you in trouble if anything was to happen to her. How old is Bri anyways? Whatever the age, if you and your husband have the room and agree, then maybe this irresponsible mom needs to not have her child for awhile until she can becaome responsible again. Good Luck and keep us posted!!!
Anyways, I do agree that it is unfair that you are doing all of the work, caring for ALL 3 kids, and not getting the same respect from the other side. But when mothers act irresponsibly and jealous, this is how they treat not only the "other" mother, but sadly the child/children too. It is a terrible that Bri has to suffer so much from her mother that she is trying to get the love from, but mothers are gold in childrens eyes. You are doing a wonderful thing in caring for her, and it is your right to excpect that the mother care as much as you do. Sadly though, I think her mother is bitter towards the positive things and wonderful family you have created, and she will only continue to do things at her daughters cost. I think your husband and you should either implament that the mother be responsible for her daughter when she has her, and that goes for clothing,food,activities,pick up and drop offs and etc, or she should be made to only have her daughter every other weekend. She is obviously not thinking of her own daughters safety when she leaves her by the bus stop for all those long hours by herself, its allmost a pathetic way to try to get you in trouble if anything was to happen to her. How old is Bri anyways? Whatever the age, if you and your husband have the room and agree, then maybe this irresponsible mom needs to not have her child for awhile until she can becaome responsible again. Good Luck and keep us posted!!!
I never said I hated her mother I just dont agree with the things that she does with Bri. I think it would be different if Bri lived with us full time. But I am her stepmom and Bri makes that very clear to me and thats ok cause think that her relationship with her mom should be stronger.
We do buy clothes, shoes and everything elses that she needs when she is here but we also have 2 other childern to buy for and we cant afford it. If her mom cant afford to get Bri the things that she needs maybe she shouldnt have Bri but on weekends.
We do buy clothes, shoes and everything elses that she needs when she is here but we also have 2 other childern to buy for and we cant afford it. If her mom cant afford to get Bri the things that she needs maybe she shouldnt have Bri but on weekends.
Here is a thought document all the time the mom drops her off early, and then does not pick her up late--and when she takes your husband to court you have proof of how much time the daughter actually spends with her mom...maybe you and your husband could then have full custody of bri and her mom only gets her on weekends and maybe special time.. just a thought..that way Bri will know where her life is actually at--the house that has a stable environment.
This really isn't about what is right, Rebbecca. This is about what this child needs, and the resources she has to get her needs met. Yes you do treat Brianna differently from your own children - your own children are welcome at your home all the time, and you would jump over barrels to make sure they have clean nice clothing to wear. She's welcome one week on and one week off, and you won't even get her from the bus stop when you get your own kids, and even though she needs clothes at her mother's house, you and your husband won't buy them.
Yes, her mother is not responsible. Yes, she only has time for herself. Yes, your husband should have picked a good woman to marry and make a baby with and not have this chaos in this child's lfe. But he didn't. He went off and married you and made a new family that she is welcome to visit one week on and one week off.
Yes, you are a better mother than she is and she is failing her responsibilities. Why does Brianna have to pay for that because you hate her mother?
Yes, her mother is not responsible. Yes, she only has time for herself. Yes, your husband should have picked a good woman to marry and make a baby with and not have this chaos in this child's lfe. But he didn't. He went off and married you and made a new family that she is welcome to visit one week on and one week off.
Yes, you are a better mother than she is and she is failing her responsibilities. Why does Brianna have to pay for that because you hate her mother?
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Child Behavior Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Is a gluten-free diet right for you?
We answer your top questions about the flu vaccine.
Learn which over-the-counter medicines are safe for you and your baby
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
Healing home remedies for common ailments
