My son is 9. He also had severe hearing loss that went undetected and until the age of 51/2. We also did surgery and he hears perfectly now. Yet there are times that he does not listen. It is a big problem at school. We found out that at the age of 7 that he is dysgraphic, ld in written and expressive language and speech delayed.He is receiving speech ,language and OT services at school. His teacher, my husband and I feel that there may be something else going on like ADHD or PDD.
As a parent of a child who once had hearing loss, can relate to what you mention about not wanting to speak to certain people. I think that it is a part of not really being able to express themselves. My son has made a big improvement in this area. I can also relate to the sensory issues. My son gets really frustrated with keeping concentration when it is noisy.
Is your son receiving any speech and language services? There are programs in the public school system for young children as young as 3 years old who need services (ELP early or intervention programs along with speech and lauguge thrapy). They must first be tested and qualify for these services.
Walking on toes may signal neurological issues. That can be characteristic of children with ASD (autism spectrum disorders). How is he with conversations? Does he start conversations? Initiate play? Takes turns? What about his play skills - does he engage in imaginative play? Does he imitate you or peers?
My child (4.5) has some borderline ASD characteristics, although some doctors are positive that he does not have it, and some are not so sure...His teachers do not think he has ASD. While he never was a violent child, we see some hitting and lots of fears now when he is 4 years old.
Does he go to pre-school? Does he try to get out of doing work? What behaviors he exibits?
Try to analyze his behaviors - what happens before and after he starts running around the pool? Mine tried running away from me a couple of times - no willing to comply with request to stop resulted in him and me leaving the pool. Sounds that your son has some behavioral challenges, I would defenitely look into neurological causes, but meanwhile, just follow up with your requests immediately, i.e. if he does not stop - make him stop, if he keeps refusing to comply, remove him from the pool area.
Another characteristic that is almost always present in Aspergers is unusual fixation on certain topics and insistence on talking about this topics, AS children may have sensory sensitivities, sound and light sensitivities, texture sensitivities. They also often have exceptional memory. They take everything very literally (for example I asked if my sons' friend wanted to ride a 'street monster" - it is a big wheel trycicle - he had a meltdown because of his fear of monsters, even when I pointed out the bike I was reffering to. No major language delays. Go to AutismSpeaks.org and they have pretty good overview of Aspergers Syndrom symptoms and characteristics
Good luck with everyting:)