Tantrums

[bmoser06]

My 4 year old son has been kicked out of 4 daycares. The first one when he was three. He is very intellegent and manipulative. The main reason he gets kicked out is for tantrums. I dont allow that behavior at home. Its like he takes advantage of my absense to have them. It could be over anything.Such as, not wanting to wash his hands, or another classmate refusing to play with him. He is about to get kicked out of preschool and he is only 3 weeks in. I dont know what to do.

[specialmom]

Where do you live, the US?  You can do one of five things---  call your pediatrician and ask them to recommend one,  OR call the closest children's hospital which should have an occupational therapy office  OR talk to the couselor at your child's school and ask if there are any they know of and recommend OR look in the yellow pages under occupational therapy OR call your insurance company for covered ot's in your area.  

In the meantime, if you'd like any at home/ playground suggestions----  let me know.

Good luck.  It made the world of difference in my child.

[Vabonk]

You have given me a suggestion before about my 5yr son, how do I go about getting an occupational therapist for him and his defiant behavior?

[specialmom]

Perhaps there is more going on.  4 year olds can have tantrums for sure but I'm not sure about being manipulative.  He probably handles things better with you because he feels comfort in it vs more out of his element at daycare.  

My son had a major issue with hand washing in preschool.  Among other things, that is when I knew that something wasn't right.  I observed him in school and he was a different kid.  Not happy and it broke my heart.  He has a minor developmental delay of which we do once a week occupational therapy and lots of things at home for.  He now is in kindergarten and functions beautifully.  A delay has NOTHING to do with intelligence as my son is very smart and always does better than most peers academically.  But his delay is called sensory  integration disorder----  it involves many things and can make him uncomfortable to the point of fits at times.  He completely got over his hand washing thing after about a month of ot.  I can give you suggestions to try at home to help him.  He may feel as bad on the inside as he is acting on the outside.  

I may also be way off base and don't mean to insinuate that your son has a delay also, but finding out about my son has made him a much happier kid and most people have no idea he has a delay.  If you need any suggestions that might help, I'm happy to give them.  Good luck!  (one quick suggestion, keep his physical activity level high.)