My 5 year old son

[Knox83]

My 5 year old son has some bad anger issues I've seen it coming for awhile and it getting worse he started school in September now he's took his anger there hitting out at other kids and hitting the teachers kicking and punching there's normally a few of them that have to get him out of the class room there on about kicking him out of school it's got that bad we really don't no what to do with he needs help I would like soon advise on where and who to see before it goes to far thanks

[Sandman2]

   Ok, finally have a bit more time.  Sorry for the questions, but as Specialmom says - the triggers are important.
   First, the reason for the question about his sleeping at night is because if a child of his age is not sleeping well, they really fall apart during the day.  The lack of sleep could be a sleep apnea thing caused by breathing obstruction which you might be able to hear as he is sleeping.  Or it could be just not getting enough sleep due to not being able to fall asleep at night.
   The hitting and kicking is a bit unusual.  Does he have any older brothers or sisters?   Where he might have picked this up?
   Specialmoms questions about divorce or moving are important because we have seen how much little ones can be affected by this.
    Finally, I am going to repost a post I did to a parent with kind of a similar problem.  It took specialmoms point about teaching kids how to handle their anger and went from there.  It was aimed at a 6 year old, but it all applies here.  Hope it also helps.
    
              a 6 year old boy can be a force of nature.  I always thought my kindergarten/first grade teachers were absolute Saints for dealing with them.  
    Oh, do you have any younger kids (say around 2 or 3)?  Sometimes these things start as attention getting and escalate.  If so, there are a few additional things you can do.
So - do realize that possibly that some of the things you want him to do maybe aren't real easy for a 6 year old.  So cut back just a bit (not a lot) on the do's and don't list.  Try and redirect when possible.
  But mainly don't, "spend a large portion of my day saying "the way you are acting is why we aren't (insert whatever activity here)" and he doesn't seem to get that... "  Talking to him just will not work.  And talking to him when he is having a tantrum - won't work.
   The rule is that when he starts a tantrum - he gets a short timeout.  And the timeout does not start until the tantrum stops.  He will go nuts for a while.  Just keep repeating - "as soon as you choose to stop your tantrum, the timeout will start and 2 min later you can ..."   Do not try to reason with him or talk with him while he is yelling.  You are just playing into his hands.
  Essentially, the rules for behavior modification are that there must be immediate, short, consistent consequences.   Do not expect overnight miracles.  It has taken him awhile to get to this point and it will take a while to relearn control.  But he will.
   I would also look into buying "Cool down and work through anger" or "When I feel angry". This is part of a series of books aimed at 4 to 7 year olds and meant to be read to them at night (several times) and then practiced.  Kids do need to be taught how to deal with anger.  You do not try and use these techniques while he is screaming.  But once he stops or later on in the day - you can refer back to them or pull the books back out.
You can find them here -  http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_b_5

[Sandman2]

Does he have trouble sleeping at night?

[specialmom]

Yes, I've actually been there.  For us, it helped to figure out what was at the root of it.  It wasn't about my son wanting to be 'bad' but more of a response to his nervous system feeling out of control.  We were able to do things to make a huge difference for him so he could better cope with the school environment.  He went from having great difficulty to never getting into trouble --  no joke.  But the key was understanding what was going on.  

How is he with his words?  How does he do expressing his emotions?  

Any changes like a divorce or move?  

If he is fine at home, what does he do when he gets upset at home?  

[Knox83]

He's fine in crowed places that doesn't phase him it can just start all over nothing I'll have a look and thanks for your help just hope I can get it sorted cause it's really hard

[specialmom]

Okay, let me tell you about my son who is now 9 but had a difficult time in preschool.  he had sensory issues and things were decent at home but he found the classroom very hard to adjust to or to be comfortable in.  he had a base level response called 'flight or flght'.  he often took off or he'd have a meltdown which it sounds like your son is doing.  

does he get upset or agitated in crowded places like the mall or at a birthday party??  Does he have time self soothing to calm himself down?  

There are sensory strategies you can put in place to help him if there is any thought that this might be going on.

A good site to look at that discusses what sensory looks like (but is different for every kid) is "sensoryprocessingdisorder" or SPD.  Let me know what you think if you look at this site.  If any of it rings bells to you.

my son at 9 does fine at school because we began addressing the root problem which was his sensory issues.  

[Knox83]

He does hit at home but becoming more at school the teachers say they take him out of room when he kicks off but must of time it take 2 or 3 of um cause will kick and punch when he has a bee in his bonnet there is no reasoning what so ever doesn't matter what any body says if you talk to him about right and wrong he says don't care and will do it anyway I've tried doing different things to try and help him but when he goes that's it he wake up in bad mood straight away most mornings he can be such a loving kid at times but the anger in this boy is taking over

[specialmom]

Hi there.  To me, a better question is what does the school do about his behavior?  For a five year old, consequences really need to be immediate.  Disciplining a child of 5 at home after the school day is long over really is ineffective.  So, I am wondering how the school handles such behavior.

What does your intuition think is going on? Does he hit at home?  What types of things have you taught him to help control his anger issues and better deal with it?  For some kids, this doesn't come naturally and we must kind of spoon feed it to them.  You can do X,Y and Z when mad but not A,B or C.  GIVE him the words to use, the actions that are appropriate to take in order to handle the emotion of anger with firm boundaries as to what is off limits in terms of anger actions (IE: hitting).  

But first, it would help to know what you've worked on already.  

[Knox83]

He's in a public school

[Sandman2]

  Is he in a private school or a public school.

[Knox83]

I've tried asking him about school all we get is I don't care we have tried time out he won't do it tried taking his things he like and he can have them when he's good that don't work we try not to shout at him as makes him worse nothing seems to work the school are saying he kicks off over the smallest things but he's hitting out at them

[Knox83]

He can be calm one minute not the next the school is saying that he kicks off over nothing and they can't control him were tried time out saying he can't have the things he like till been good try talking to him about school all he says is he don't care we don't no what to do

[MarkLakewood3367]

Do you discipline your son for this behavior?  What discipline do you use and how do you implement it?  Do you discipline your son at home for poor school behavior?  Have you asked your son why he is angry and what is bothering him?  It seems that a lot of questions needs to be answered before giving any advice.