3 year old crying fits - HELP

[nikkibo]

My son just turned 3 and although he had crying fits before when he would not get his way, they have increased 10 times more since then. Granted my husband is in the military and is away for 6 weeks, but I need to get a handle on this now as it is getting out of control. He throws multiple fits a day, he does not listen, throws toys, pulls on the dogs tail, I have tried time outs, sure they stop him that one time from continuing to cry but they prevent nothing. I also have a 3 1/2 month old so I would love to only give my 3 year old attention but that is just not possible.

I feel like such a failure, and instead of reading articles on the million things not to do, I need some help with what I should no.

[Daisy1979]

Are your son and mine related...LOL  My son will be 4 next month and he's completely out of control!!! He was a very good baby but by about a year old his behavior began to change.  He began to get more difficult by the month!!!  I've heard of the terrible two's and the horrible 3's but when it starts at 1 and continues until 4 (and doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon) what am I to do?  I can't get my son to listen if it were to save my life.  I feel your dispair!  I agree that your sons behavior seems to be stemming from his dad being gone.  This is a HUGE change and demands your son to adjust to life without dad for the time being with or without his permission and he's not having it.  You are in a tough perdicument because you are left alone to deal with an infant and an angry toddler...but I do have a few ideas that might help.  If possible try to get a web cam type situation set up where your son can see and talk to his dad on a daily or weekly basis.  If this IS possible make "talking to daddy" a reward for good behavior, if this is NOT possible maybe you can buy/check out a book that is based on "military dads" that is geared towards young children and read it often.  I can't imagine there not being at least one book out there to read to children about dealing with a parent in the military.  Actually I googled it really quick and came up with this website, http://www.wcpl.org/flyers/css_children.pdf.  I hope that starts you off.  If that doesn't work out, you may try to encourage your son to draw daily pictures for daddy that you will put together as a book for daddy's return.  Of course for the time being the most important thing is to be as sympathetic to his feelings as possible but don't waiver on your expectations of your sons behavior.  BE CONSISTANT, BE FIRM, but BE A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON TOO!!!  Good luck and I hope this helps in some way :)

[LRM1021]

Few things:

- for me, my son got WORSE at 3, and not better at 3.5 things got better:)
- your husband is away -- this is bothering your son, and making him feel insecure and he is taking it out on you because he is trying to control SOMETHING in his life, when there is this big thing-- Dad being away- that he cannot control (THATS THE 3 THING-- THEY ARE LITTLE CONTROL FREAKS:)


Best thing is to be consistent with your rewards for good behavior, consistent with your discipline for bad behavior ( time out is best, I think)-- again rewarding positively any and all good behavior.

Also, speaking directly to your son about where his Dad is and when he is coming home and reassuring him that everyone is Ok and that even if Dad is not there your son is still ok-- repeating this alot because he's only 3 -- may help.