Where is the line drawn for kicking a child out of daycare?

[Mandee775]

I am a daycare/preschool teacher. I teach 3 and 4 year olds. I have one child in my class who does pretty good during the day but when she acts out (won't follow instructions, repeatedly does the same thing over and over, won't stay quiet at nap time) and is told to stop or is sat in time out is just completely defiant. She tells me "NO!" and kicks and screams. If she is told to be quiet (especially at nap time) she will just look at me and keep saying words (random words) loudly. If she is told to lay down on her mat she will keep getting up and readjusting her blanket and pillow. She refuses to take a nap. She says "I can't close my eyes" or "I don't know how to take a nap."

Her mother doesn't seem to care a terrible amount. When the director talked to her about it, she basically said "Well she is only three years old." She brought in a bigger blanket and a pillow and a bear for her to lay down with, but it doesn't help her lay still or stay quiet. She fights sleep like nothing I have ever seen before. And has woken my other kids up multiple times, and i can't them to go back to sleep because she doesn't stop being loud.

For getting her to go to sleep i have tried white noise for music, I've tried patting her back, rubbing her back, holding her hand, laying next to her, I've tried letting her watch baby videos from my phone that are supposed to put children to sleep and make them sleepy. I've tried positive reinforcements such as offering a prize if she took a nap. I've tried everything i can think of, she does not seem to care. After that i tried just giving her a quiet activity like reading a book or matching games. But she talks to herself the whole time she does it (and she doesn't talk quietly). When i ask her to keep her voice down or zip her lips, she does it for about a maximum of two minutes.

She just started last week at our daycare. I don't want her mother to be upset when she comes in to pick her up and her note that goes home says she is misbehaving everyday during nap. But its becoming unmanageable. I plan activites/games/lessons during nap time and i can get anything done when i'm constantly reminding her to be still or lay quiet or not to talk.

If you're a parent of a child, whats the best way for you to communicate with your childs teacher? If you're a daycare provider, what would you suggest?

Is any of this means for asking a child to leave the daycare?


This discussion is related to Behavior Problems - Daycare.

[specialmom]

It is not a law in my state for sure.  My kids did nap still at three, four and into five----  they were big sleepers.  But they were at home with me and in their own rooms.  I have friends whose kids gave up naps at 2 and three and that was just that.  You really can't force kids to sleep in my opinion and if my kids weren't nappers----  I'd not enroll them in a program that required it.  It wouldn't be a good fit.  

[margypops]

Would anyone here like to explain to me why it is necessary for a 3 year old child to have to take a nap during the day ,is it a mandatory law or for the convenience of the day care workers, as its usually 2 hours this seems a long time to me .and how on earth can you keep them still and quiet if they cannot sleep.Surely it also affects night time sleep..any one have an answer for me?

[skepticalpeach]

As a parent I would probably end up pulling the child from the classroom if the teachers really couldn't handle them. But, I don't think it's a choice that the school should make without consultation from the parent(s) and school aids (ie social worker). It's hard for children to change schools or start new schools. In time she might adjust.

[allmymarbles]

Actually, about the sleep business, I agree with you.

[teddybears4ever2]

Another thing you can do, is see if the child's mom or dad would like to come in during nap time once or twice. I know there is some law (in most states about how long nap time should be. One thing you should never do is force a kid to sleep. As Diva's sister, I have seen what can happen when that is done.
The kid has been at your daycare for just a short amount of time. Give her time to adjust. Kicking a child out of daycare for not sleeping, is a very crazy idea.

[allmymarbles]

There are two people here worthy of consideration - the child and you. The primary responsibility for the child is her mother - not you.  So put the child out and let the mother deal with it.

You have exhausted all your know-how in handling this child. You are frustrated and out of ideas. So send her home. Also, you have a lot of children under your care. They are not getting the attention they deserve.