Stepsons abnormal sexual child behavior

[laughoften]

My boyfriends sons behavior is really bothering me.  My boyfriend has joint custody of his son and the child spends about 10 to 12 days a month at my boyfriends house.  The rest of the time he is at his mothers house. The boy is 6 years old.  For the past 2 to 3 months we have been catching him humping things, such as pillows, stuffed animals, waded up blankets, and sofa cushions.  When we catch him doing this he jumps and he looks like a deer caught in headlights.  When we ask him what he is doing he says "nothing just laying here.".  My boyfriend has tried to talk to him about what is he feeling and why is he doing this and the boy just starts to cry and he says " I don't know".  the boy acts like he knows he is doing something wrong but he will not tell us why he is doing what he is doing.  My boyfriend has talked to him about this behavior several times but the boy continues to do it. the boy is only 6 years old and he is very sneaky and he lies alot.  I just have a gut feeling something is not right.  Could you please help me understand what is going on with the child and why is he humping everything?

[margypops]

I think possibly the concern comes from the fact that many children are abused, very often by someone in the family,  excessive sexual behavior can be a marker for that .So even when it is actual normal child behavior there is that worry that something is happening to the child, I think its good for parents  to be aware..

[skepticalpeach]

I agree with the other 2 ladies. It's perfectly normal. He just needs to learn to figure out when and where it is appropriate. Don't make a big deal out of it, don't question him about it. Instead of telling him what he can't do, tell him what he can do. "You can do that in private in the bathroom or your bedroom."  Please don't take this the wrong way, but I've seen this question a lot on here recently and I seriously don't understand how people don't know that this is normal. Why is it such a hush hush issue that people are in the dark about?

[margypops]

It probably is more from excitement at the cartoons than  a sexual episode..I think it is normal behavior and I am sure he doesn't know what it means it just feels okay..I know you are feeling vunerable because of the girls ,other than seperating them I am uncertain how you can change what probably is involuntary.Boys will be boys ...

[laughoften]

My boyfriend has talked to him about doing this in private but the boy continues to do it in the living room and in the den while he was watching cartoons.  His little sister was in the room with him watching cartoons with him.  My boyfriend and i have a 3 year old daughter together and I have 2 older daughters also.  I just have never had a son and i have not had to deal with anything like this with the girls!

[laughoften]

thank you for responding.  We catch him by just walking in the room while it is happening.  We have caught him in the living room when I walked in he was doing it on the sofa and we have caught him in his room when his room doing it on his bed to stuffed animals and pillows.  One time he was laying on the floor in the living room watching a cartoon and he was rubbing on a pillow.  My boyfriend has asked his ex-wife if the boy was doing this at her home and she said she has not seen him doing it there, but the mother said he was wanting his privacy while in the tub and that he has leaned in on her before.  When my boyfriend asked her what she ment by leaning in on her she would not answer the question and just kept changing the subject.  My boyfriend and his ex-wife do not communicate well.  He can not really ever get answers to his questions from her.  She gets defensive and just avoids him.  I do know that the boys mother has had 6 different boyfriends in the past year and a half that stay the night with her when the boy is there and She had a couple of the boyfriends living with her and the boy for a few months.

[RockRose]

I guess the **** is a misspelling of doing.

[RockRose]

Do you both honestly not know why he is **** this??

It feels good.  That's why he's doing it.

It's not more "wrong" than picking your nose,  which you do in private.  He just needs to do this in private rather than public.  

Do you have any children of your own?  Often, when people don't have any children they are more critical of normal childhood behavior,  especially in the children of their partners.

[margypops]

To some extent the behavior you describe is normal and children do this kind of stuff..It is possible he genuinely doesn't know why,The more that is made about it the worse it will become , how are you catching him all the time ?   Maybe a word with his other family to see if he does the same thing there...You say he is lying what is he lying about ?  It would be good if you focused on his positive side and praised him when you see him doing something right..