anxiety

[scorrine]

My son is almost four years old, and i know that he does things that are just not normal. I have been told by others that he may have an anxiety disorder. He clams up when we are in a social situations. He will want seperate himself from others when we are in a group. He throws tantrums when put in a large group. We have not been able to fully potty train him because, he hold in his bowel movements to point where we have to give him an enema. I thinks it because he is afriad of pooping. I just am so sad for him, and i can tell that he knows that what he is feeling is not normal either. When we give him praise for something he yells at us and tells us to stop talking. I wish there was something to i can do for him to help him feel better and more comfortable. Do you think taht taking him to counseling would help him, and how do they treat children with anxiety?

[jdtm]

I neglected to mention one very important point in my reply.  You claimed your son "clams us in social situations" - the correct term for this is "Selective Mutism" which is a severe form of social anxiety.  The best site on the internet for information is "selectivemutism.org" where I urge you to read the FAQ's and other information.  You will also find a forum where you can post questions re your son's disorder.

I belong to a support group for parents and children who suffer from anxiety and unfortunately, "recognize" your son in many of the children in our group.  Anxiety is highly treatable and early intervention usually decreases the "treatment time".  If you would like more information or help, please contact me through my e-mail.  All the best ...

[jdtm]

I think you and I are on the same page - it's the connotation of the word "counselor".  I am from Canada and the word "counselor" usually refers to a religious person or some other person without medical training, especially in mental health issues.  I think we are both thinking "therapist" in this situation.  In our situation, it was the neurologist who diagnosed, the child psychiatrist who prescribed the medication and the child psychologist and art therapist who began the process of "giving us the tools".  From reading these boards, I'm feeling that our Canadian universal health system allows us access to more professionals much quicker without "cost" being a consideration than those living in areas where "insurance" seems to play such an important role.

By the way, if the medication left your son a zombie then it was the wrong dose or the wrong meds.  It took three different medications (with several attempts at various dosages) before we found the correct one for our child - but her anxiety was very severe and using no medication was not an option for us.

[musicmama]

I agree that anxiety is probably the case, unless there are other psychological problems. The doctor is the place to start.  I disagree about counseling.  Counselors are trained in the spectrum of anxiety disorders, and can give you some insight in dealing with them.  They probably won't remedy them.  From my experience with my son's anxiety, the counselor is the only one who gave us real tools to help.  A psychiatrist gave him drugs without question, leaving him as a zombie.  I know there are meds out there that can help, so be careful.

Good luck and God bless.

[jdtm]

No, counseling is not the answer for anxiety.  The correct treatment involves intervention, therapy and possibly medication.  The first person you should contact is your family doctor for advice and a diagnosis.  If he/she is unable or unwilling to assist your son, then ask for a referral to a medical person with experience in anxiety disorders (I'm assuming anxiety is the issue and from your description it is highly suspect).  Your son is unable to control his fears/stresses/anxieties and will require "tools" to help him learn how to manage and cope with his fears.  Unless you are a medical person with experience in anxiety disorders, you will not be able to "help him feel better or more comfortable" without assistance.

There is lots of information on the internet - google terms such as "childhood anxiety" or something similar for downloads, books suggestions, etc.  However, the first thing that should be done is to contact your family doctor.  If anxiety is the issue be aware that your son will not outgrow this disorder nor will it go away.  Also, be aware that the earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis.  I urge you to seek your family doctor as soon as possible.  I wish you the best....