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child holding poop for 4 days out of fear
This new situation happening with my 4 year old boy is making me worry a lot. J hadn´t been eating much and I hadn´t seen him go to the toilet for the past 4 days. One night he would stand up, hold his penis as if he were about to pee and then came running to me asking for me to hold him. He had peed though but his face reflected pain. I was worried, I told my husband to observe his behavior, he thought he was manipulating us to get our attention.
Next morning I called the doctor, I suspected a UTI, he said J was probably looking for attention and gave me an ointment in case he had a rash. He said it could work as a placebo if manipulation was the case.
This same day we went out for lunch, J could hardly sit at the table and was clearly in pain, he sat, stood up, joined his legs as if he were about to pee. I thought he was in pain and told him we were gonna go to the restroom to check him out. He screamed and gave a step back and said he didn´t want to go to the restroom. I started suspecting abuse (but from whom if he is all day with me) and ask him if someone had scared him. This is where I hit the nail. He said: "You once told me that blood came out with my poop, so I´m going to bleed". This is where I understood what was happening, that he was resisting to go. I then remembered the occassion he had mentioned where I had told him that he was bleeding...
He had used the toilet and there were specks of red in the poop. My first impression was that he had bled. I said: "Oh, J, you´re bleeding". I looked closely and saw that it was a mistake. J was immediately anxious, as he is scared of bruises, cuts, and blood. And then I said "Oh, I´m sorry there is no blood, I made a mistake, maybe it´s something you ate". He got anxious and fearful but soon forgot this episode.
A month or so afterwards is when the poop withholding episode suscitated. He finally used the toilet but was very anxious. Everytime he´s gone (twice) he said he was gonna bleed. I´m so worried by the pain and what he has been inflicting on himself. And it might get worse. Besides he has this fear that when he bleeds the wound is not going to close up.
Please help, I ´m so worried.
Next morning I called the doctor, I suspected a UTI, he said J was probably looking for attention and gave me an ointment in case he had a rash. He said it could work as a placebo if manipulation was the case.
This same day we went out for lunch, J could hardly sit at the table and was clearly in pain, he sat, stood up, joined his legs as if he were about to pee. I thought he was in pain and told him we were gonna go to the restroom to check him out. He screamed and gave a step back and said he didn´t want to go to the restroom. I started suspecting abuse (but from whom if he is all day with me) and ask him if someone had scared him. This is where I hit the nail. He said: "You once told me that blood came out with my poop, so I´m going to bleed". This is where I understood what was happening, that he was resisting to go. I then remembered the occassion he had mentioned where I had told him that he was bleeding...
He had used the toilet and there were specks of red in the poop. My first impression was that he had bled. I said: "Oh, J, you´re bleeding". I looked closely and saw that it was a mistake. J was immediately anxious, as he is scared of bruises, cuts, and blood. And then I said "Oh, I´m sorry there is no blood, I made a mistake, maybe it´s something you ate". He got anxious and fearful but soon forgot this episode.
A month or so afterwards is when the poop withholding episode suscitated. He finally used the toilet but was very anxious. Everytime he´s gone (twice) he said he was gonna bleed. I´m so worried by the pain and what he has been inflicting on himself. And it might get worse. Besides he has this fear that when he bleeds the wound is not going to close up.
Please help, I ´m so worried.
Appointment tomorrow, the 1st of 6 sessions. I´ll let you know.
Doctor gave us laxatives or stool softener as a means of "forcing" him to go everyday and prove that nothing happens. Yes, inadvertently we scared him. Yesterday while talking with my husband we realized that we had spoke about baby sis having such a bad rash that she even bled. He must have maximized the event in his mind besides my reaction to that day where it all originates.
A close friend says children that become anxious for control have a trigger and then start controlling their own parents with their need to constantly go. We´re trying so hard not to let this happen. J was the easiest child to potty train But entrance to preschool at 2 y old was such a difficult event for him, as in separating from mom, that he started controlling his pee (he started peeing in the toilet) as a means of having the teacher next to him. All of this went away and he was potty trained by 3 y old. He still wets his bed sometimes during naptime or nighttime but nothing as terrible as the poop holding episode. Thank G-d our bodies are designed to empty on their own and it is a function that cannot be stopped.
Doctor gave us laxatives or stool softener as a means of "forcing" him to go everyday and prove that nothing happens. Yes, inadvertently we scared him. Yesterday while talking with my husband we realized that we had spoke about baby sis having such a bad rash that she even bled. He must have maximized the event in his mind besides my reaction to that day where it all originates.
A close friend says children that become anxious for control have a trigger and then start controlling their own parents with their need to constantly go. We´re trying so hard not to let this happen. J was the easiest child to potty train But entrance to preschool at 2 y old was such a difficult event for him, as in separating from mom, that he started controlling his pee (he started peeing in the toilet) as a means of having the teacher next to him. All of this went away and he was potty trained by 3 y old. He still wets his bed sometimes during naptime or nighttime but nothing as terrible as the poop holding episode. Thank G-d our bodies are designed to empty on their own and it is a function that cannot be stopped.
I also think that perhaps you have inadvertently made him afraid with the talk about bleeding , this is too much for a childof 4 to understand with out worrying about it ..Do you think it may be a good idea to allow him to go to the bathroom by himself ,so that not too much of an issue is made..sometimes children become anxious .Yes I would definatly speak to someone who will be able to find out whats upsetting him ..
Thank you, we talked to the doc, he said we have to speak with him, let him know that nothing happens. He said we could take him to poop in the tub or the potty again. But he is not afraid of the toilet.
I´ll let you know how everything goes, thank you for sharing my concern. My husband was resisting to taking him to the psychologist, I think there is not going to be an option.
I´ll let you know how everything goes, thank you for sharing my concern. My husband was resisting to taking him to the psychologist, I think there is not going to be an option.
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