Aa
Out of solutions...
My husband and I just decided on divorce after a five years of a very rocky marriage the last two years we have been seperated. after deciding this I moved to another state with our son who is five year old to finish my degree and my husband was deployed all of this has affected our son very much....... He is VERY active, rebellious, demanding, stubborn and just plain out does not listen. He might listen to me a little but deffiantly test his limits with me....but when some one else is watching him he really goes wild and i am sure to come back to neagtive report from his sitter. My son is one of the most caring and loving kids I know but is just busy doing his own thing to listen to authortiy. I feel that I have tried everything in the book from heart felt talks to time outs taking toys away spankings to back to heart felt talks etc. I am just lost and hopless at this point. any advice??
make sure the teachers know what is going on and that you are working hard on it too. I had trouble with my son after a divorce too. Kindergarten was a nightmare, but he also has some sensory issues on top of it .
Thanks guys! I really do appreciate all the advice we are both still trying to adjust to our new life, Its true I have not been so constant with my displine with him and I see how that can play into it all. He is in Kindergarten so he has friends I will try and set up play dates on my time off. I am just tired of all the negative reports from his sitter and even teacher somtimes and its not like he is a bad kid he has a huge heart and is really smart just a tuff time i guess... Thanks eveyone again!!! I have taken all the comments into consideration.
I think he is reacting to all the changes. It's a lot to move to a new state, probably new school, new sitter, etc. Dad never around, etc. It's hard and you may be showing stress too. Going through a divorce is REALLY hard and I know I've done it. Sometimes when I am stressed, my son acts out more, I think they sense you are not at your very best.
I know he might still be young to understand your situation, I mean you and his dad, but he has the right to know the truth. It is almost 15 years now that I finally decided to separate from my children's father but never hid anything from my kids. And I never said anything bad about their dad. I even encourage them to love their dad and whatever it is between me and him doesn't include them. That he is still their dad and whoever doesn't love him, I don't love as well.
Be more patient with you son. He's at a lost right now. Growing each day without his dad is something not normal for him. Try talking to him about the situation or better yet, both you and your husband talk to him.
GOODLUCK! I hope and pray your problem will be resolved soon.
Be more patient with you son. He's at a lost right now. Growing each day without his dad is something not normal for him. Try talking to him about the situation or better yet, both you and your husband talk to him.
GOODLUCK! I hope and pray your problem will be resolved soon.
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In a way the discipline part is easy. The problem is what you are doing - "heart felt talks to time outs taking toys away spankings to back to heart felt talks" - is not consistent. At this age, discipline needs to be consistent, immediate, and consistently repeated. Experts say it takes 3 weeks to change a learned behavior - and thats with constant, repeated discipline. If you are always changing up your style of discipline, it won't work. Get the book, "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark. It explains how to use timeouts in an extremely effective way. It will work!
The other problem is tougher. He needs friends. Try to find someone at school who you can invite over. Talk to his teacher ---- opps, I am assuming he is in kindergarten --to find kids he likes. If he is at home with a sitter all day, that's another problem. Anyway, do try to spend more time with him. See if there is any daycare at your school where he can interact with other kids. He needs this. Look for any kind of sports activity you can get him into. Hope this helps! Best wishes!