what is reason or cause for 7 year old refusing to do school work at school? Only child with lots of attention from family.

[bakerakr]

7 year old granson refusing to do some work in school
by bakerakr


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bakerakr
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Member since Oct 2008  



, Oct 03, 2008 08:23PM
My 7 year old grandson is an awesome very good and smart boy. He has rules and responsibilities and is always willing to help in any way he can.  He is always respectful and very sensitive.  He is an only child because his mom had to have a hysterectomy after he was born to save her life.  This year since he has started second grade he has refused to do some of the work.  He has actually thrown a math paper on the floor in refusal.  He never behaves like this for us!  Don't get me wrong he is good but also has a normal amount of testy about him but he is always reasonable. This behavior now is NOT him and we are at wits end trying to figure out what can be causing this behavior.  When he applies himself he is an above average child.  Typically he has problems first thing in the morning and then possibly again toward the end of the day after lunch.  His fasting blood sugar and it tends to run in the 118 - 120's and sometimes lower.  He hasn't been able to tell us why he refused to do some of his work.  My daughter and her husband have tried giving him foods as if he were diabetic and he definitely does better .  He now asks for good foods on his own.  Can this be food related, other health issue, food or allergy related?  He started out the school year with an ear infection and then two weeks later another ear infection and strep thorat.  At first we thought it was because he was sick.  We have tried taking things away, rewarding and the thing that has worked the best was the change in diet.  He is scheduled to meet with his teacher, the principal of the school, his parents and the behavior specialist on Monday, October 6th.  I know that they will try to say he has LD, ADD/ADHD or some sort of defiant disorder.  This is not a troubled child and I am so afraid they are going to label him.  Maybe his learning style isn't being addressed or some such other thing.  Please help us to help him and to prevent a normal little boy from being labeled!!
Sincerely,
Grandma
Is your child male or female? :   Male What is your child's weight (kgs or lbs) :   54

[deeyana]

You may also want the school to put him on a functional behavior analysis. Years ago when my son was in 1st we had the same situation. My son would completely shut down at certain times of the day during school.  The FBA was extremely important to me in knowing when these behaviors would occur. With a subject to subject teacher observation sheet, I noticed that my son would shut down whenever writing was involved.We later gave him many evaluations including the TOWL and found out he had other issues including dysgraphia. If it wasn't for the FBA I wouldn't have known what specific test to ask for and he probably would  have never qualified for ESE.

[Maria0205]

The blood sugars and anxiety can definatley be related, as you may already know. It sounds like you are getting a great response regarding it possibly being anxiety. Also, my son has difficulty with his 'writing' due to hand tremors that are caused from low/high blood sugars. Also, something to keep in mind! :) Good luck with everything.

[jdtm]

Here's a book title which you might find helpful - "the highly sensitive child" by Elaine N. Aron.  It can be purchased on-line or in bookstores or, I assume, borrowed from a public library.  If you google the title of this book, you should get more information re this topic.  I wish you the best ...

[bakerakr]

I think you have hot the nail on the head!  Thank  you so much for your insiteful response!!  He has friends and makes them easily.  He gets along with the boys and girls too, he is gentle and extremely sensitive.  He is outgoing!!  You are right in that it can be that he shows poor impulse control and/or high stress/frustration. He can't write/print as neatly or quickly as other children and he may think why try and add to the frustration?!  I leaned toward learning style issue but may be more right on with your suggestion of anxiety and stress related to his inability to measure up with doing the work related to writing assignments.  I/we don't intend to stick our heads in the sand and hide from the issue nor do we intend to sugar coat his behavior.  It is just so opposite to who he is and who we normally see.  I/we hate to see him being punished when what he needs is understanding and someone to help him figure out what is going on.  I think you did it.  I sure hope so!  T hank you so much!!!

[bakerakr]

Thank you for your time in responding to my concerns.  I think he may have an issue with sugar and we will continue to steer him away from the obvious high sugar triggers.  He knows that he feels better when he eats good foods.  The truth of the matter is he refuses to do some of the work and now that I have read all of the responses I think he may be dealing with some anxiety and frustration related to his inability to print quickly related to his hand tremors.  Maybe an accommodation can be made as a test to see if that is the issue.  

[bakerakr]

I should give you some background on myself.  I work in a college as director of disability services and counseling.  That's is where the learning style question and concern over labeling is coming from.  I see this everyday with my students. Kindergarten and first grade are centered around group activitied and interactions. Second grade is desk work.  No transition.  Remember I said he gets great grades can read well, and has good math skills. Of course we want what is BEST for him and I'm/we're all in favor of treating or diagnosing the problem.  That is the goal!  I think you are reading inbetween the lines beyond the issue in thinking we see him as the victim.  Not at all: he needs to be held accountable and believe me he is.  There are consequences for his behavior.  The concern is this behavior is completely opposite to who he is.  He is repsectful and apologetic when he sees he has been wrong.  He can do the work without any problem.  He does have issues with a non-essential familial tremor in both hands that has affected his small motor coordination, which affects his ability to write/print.  He is on medication but that is no longer effective.  He is seeing his neurologist in the nexy couple of weeks.  By the way he is also left handed.  I suggested the issue may be linked to him being an only child and having a lot of adult attention and interaction.  He has gone to day care since he was a baby and has never had an issue there.  I think you are right in that he is frustrated.  How can we deal with it effectively?  Copying sentences from the board first thing in the morning seems to be an issue.  He can do it but chooses not to, even with the consequesnces.  I think it is related to his inability to do the assignment as quickly as other children.  It is difficult for him.  I'm coming to these conclusions as I write.  The light bulb is coming on.  Thank you for your time in responding to my concerns and for so generously offering your insight.  The point I am trying to make is he is NOT a bad boy, very social, and has and makes friends easy.  He is very outgoing.  He is ina class this year without ANY of his classmates from last year and that may also be a frustration or adjustment issue for him.    

[jdtm]

Here's another possibility - according to the post, this child is sensitive, at times "testy", with problems at the beginning of the day and after lunch, "refuses" to do school work, and shows poor impulse control and/or high stress/frustration level.  These are all behaviours common to children with anxiety issues (at this point, I do not see a serious issue/disorder) but I'm wondering if the stress of school, along with feeling rather poorly at the beginning of Grade 2, has resulted in this behaviour.  By the way, few children "refuse" to do school work - it usually means they are not able (or feel they are not able) to complete the assignments.  And finally, how is his social life - does he have friends at school?

[Maria0205]

I believe it has a lot to do with 2nd grade and him being more frustrated with not understanding his new, possibly more challenging work. My 7 yr old very outgoing bright son, was very hesitant and nervous to be in 2nd grade , just because of the new atmosphere.. teacher.. etc.

My son is a Type 1 Diabetic and certain foods play a HUGE role in his behavior, concentration.. etc. There are many foods that will give him quick blood sugar highs and then drops..white foods, bread, rice, potatoes. There are many natural foods, fruits and vegetables to help with those up's and down's.

I hope this littlebit of information helps!

Maria

[babygirl6152]

most often the teachers want what is best for the child and I will apologize if I am wrong when I read this but I am having to read between the lines here maa'm
If I may be totally honest:
though you do want what is best for him you "seem to be" getting a mind set of us vs them

I have seen this at many school meetings. If he has a disorder of any type it will have to be diagnosed by a school diagnostician and/ or medical doctor. Don't panic before you go in.


remember this mantra- "Let's do what is best for the child"
even bring in a photo and set it right on the principal's desk and keep reminding everyone it is about what is in his best interest. (You all included)
So with that said- what if he is labeled with some sort of disorder- or diabetes or low blood sugar?- if it is in his best interest to address it, then do it.

But what I am seeing here may even be a bit more troublesome and that is that you are seeing him as a victim. I can tell because you said "maybe his learning style is not being addressed"? where did that come from? and "this is just "not HIM"/ I know you meant the behavior is out of the realm of what you are used to seeing, but if he is frustrated, although able to do the work you have to admit--- bottom line: he is not obeying when he simply refuses to do his work! Outright disobedience at home or at school is not tolerated with loving teachers and parents.


If the work has always been easy and 2nd grade of course is HARDER, he is possibly frustrated and resisting doing the work. He really needs to spend more time practicing a new objective, not less. So all in all - if he is refusing to do the work HE IS LOSING....and remember you want him to build on what is best for HIM- don't let him lighten up now on his studies- everything builds on the stair step before it.....