explosive anger disorder

[ruthrichmond21]

I have a 51/2 year old son, whom is very bright, he is a model student at school. very smart and listens to his teachers. But at home it is a completly differant story. like today my husband and other son were going to the park, Brandon was not able to go because we was misbehaving. When my husband started to leave I had to hold brandon down and tell him that I would not let him go until he calmed down. So he bit the blood out of me and jumped up screaming ran out the door and into the street to try and catch is dad! He came back inside and told me that he never wanted to see me again and that he hated me! Well 10 minutes later he said mommy I am sorry I don't want to leave and I do love you. So now he is being an angel child! What is wrong with my son, can any one help?

[Maria0205]

First off, I feel for you and am sorry you are so stressed and have no answers as to your Sons behavior. Although, if you dont mind, I have a few questions with the issues you are dealing with. The first question I would ask; has there been any change in any of your lives recently that might affect your Son? Example; relocation of home, school, trama, stress in the home.. etc. ? The reason I ask is that it sounds like he is calling out for some attention and misbehaving or "freaking out" is the best way of getting a parents attention.. whether it be Mom OR Dad. I also believe ALL children and homes need structure, balance, and schedules. STICKING to it is another story! Believe me, I know how difficult it is to run a balanced home vs. school. It sounds as if he may be reacting to something My first feeling would try to find out if something has changed (if any) that might be affecting him. OR most importantly how us as parents "react". I have learned over the years (and am still learning)  that MY reaction was a majority of the problem.

I hope some of my insight helps. Let me know if you would like to talk further :)

Maria

[tiredbuthappy]

i am not familiar with the disorder. however, if he is a model student at home, you may need to take a look at what is different at school than home. for example, school is very structured with a consistent routine. the expectations are clear and consequences consistent. This is not to say that you need to run your home like a school. I'm just suggesting this because it may give you insight in to why he can control his anger at school and not at home.

by the way, i do not know the family background or anything. In general, I would have done the same thing you did about the park. The only question I have is was he warned that it would be a consequence to his behavior?

[babygirl6152]

read my journal if you'd like/ you will see my philosophy

[babygirl6152]

re read it- i said wait for it- there will very probably be a poster that comes behind me that will say this- she always does- and I won't be back to disagree- she can have her say- is all- I am no nonsense and believe in discipline for the sake of the child- she believes in some other garbage- sorry for the misunderstanding

you are right it is not healthy for anyone in the family in my opinion-

[ruthrichmond21]

when He gets mad its like he has so much emotion inside of him that he just explodes. It is not just a 1 time thing, but it is not something that happens everyday. The point is that I don't think it is normal nor is it healthy for my son. I am not looking to be judged by anyone, I am looking for parents that are going through a similar situation or whom have been through it to give me a little advice. So if you are not in or have never been in this situation, then please keep your comments to yourself!

[ruthrichmond21]

I am confused, I guess you are saying that we should have let him go to the park even though he was misbehaving. you think I should reward him for acting out!

[babygirl6152]

my dad got this diagnosis as an adult- and he never hurt us thankfully but would occasionally "lose it" with an inanimate object- I remember none of this- my mom said one time one of the kids fell off the barstool so dad threw the barstool across the back yard.

But see when looking for help for a child or an adult really- you ask yourself- are they physically hurting themselves or others? Maybe a  one time thing except your post leads me to believe this was just today's example of an outburst...

you answered it for me- now you have to convince yourself honey.
Now I will move aside and let our other famous poster from the forums ask you to consider that "maybe you shouldn't have held him back from time with daddy and brother and ask once again what the child's inner frustrations might be and why was he really upset/?"