my 4 year old has a bad temper

[strugglingmomalone]

My son is 4 years old and his dad hasnt been in the picture. He is ADHD and is taking medicine for it. He can be very sweet and he is very smart but sometimes he can get really mad over nothing and get a very bad temper. He has outbursts and gets demanding for example, he demands that i dont tell him how he acts, or what to do. I have tried time out with him, talking to him and explaining to him we dont act like this, taking toys away, nothing seems to work. Ive read different books for advice and we are even working on going to counciling. I don't know how to fix this. Some people have told him since his dad isnt around that this is his way of testing me to see if im going to leave him like his dad or if im going to stay around no matter what. Can you please help me?

[Sandman2]

    Its not untypical behavior for a 4 year old.  Read all the "out of control 3,4 or 5 year old" posts on this site.   And yes, he probably is testing you, but not to see if you are going to leave him.  If he is a sharp kid, he is just stretching his boundaries and sounds like he is winning the real estate game.
    Some suggestions.  First you need more information about effective discipline,  I recommend "SOS Help for Parents," by Lynn Clark. Its about how to effectively use the timeout method.  I've found a lot of parents just don't use it correctly.
   Second you really need more info about ADHD, so that you know what to expect and how to deal with it.  On the ADHD forum I recommend  "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley a lot.  I think that it would be very appropriate in this case too.
   He is also of the age that you can start reading to him from several sets of really wonderful books aimed at the 4 to 7 year old crowd.  Besides being a great bed time thing, the messages are right on.  A good start can be found here and then look at the other books listed below for what you thing might be appropriate for him.  (each time you click on a particular book, you will get more ideas below)  http://www.amazon.com/Hands-Hitting-Ages-Best-Behavior/dp/1575420775
   Hope this helps!!!

[margypops]

Firstly it may be a good idea to have the meds checked out, can you tell us which he is taking , you may need the dose adjusting or the med changing, they can have side effects .It is possible he is missing his dad , has he any siblings?