Aa
nasty son
I have a 4 year old son that is very nasty he kicks hits and etc. I went to family dr and he dont think he needs to see a specialist dr about this issue. He will just keep yelling at you kicking and yelling his hitting me his father, brothers and his gram. he is great in school
COMMUNITY LEADER
This is my reply for a 6 year old with the same problems. I think it fits pretty well here too.
" I am sure that at school he gets told "no" and apparently doesn't throw tantrums. So, he does have the ability to control himself. Unfortunately, he has kind of "learned" that his tantrums work for him. This is not that unusual for smart kids. Fortunately, they can usually pretty quickly figure out when things are not going there way - and try something else.
And a 6 year old boy can be a force of nature. I always thought my kindergarten/first grade teachers were absolute Saints for dealing with them.
Oh, do you have any younger kids (say around 2 or 3)? Sometimes these things start as attention getting and escalate. If so, there are a few additional things you can do.
So - do realize that possibly that some of the things you want him to do maybe aren't real easy for a 6 year old. So cut back just a bit (not a lot) on the do's and don't list. Try and redirect when possible.
But mainly don't, "spend a large portion of my day saying "the way you are acting is why we aren't (insert whatever activity here)" and he doesn't seem to get that... " Talking to him just will not work. And talking to him when he is having a tantrum - won't work.
The rule is that when he starts a tantrum - he gets a short timeout. And the timeout does not start until the tantrum stops. He will go nuts for a while. Just keep repeating - "as soon as you choose to stop your tantrum, the timeout will start and 2 min later you can ..." Do not try to reason with him or talk with him while he is yelling. You are just playing into his hands.
Essentially, the rules for behavior modification are that there must be immediate, short, consistent consequences. Do not expect overnight miracles. It has taken him awhile to get to this point and it will take a while to relearn control. But he will.
I would also look into buying "Cool down and work through anger" or "When I feel angry". This is part of a series of books aimed at 4 to 7 year olds and meant to be read to them at night (several times) and then practiced. Kids do need to be taught how to deal with anger. You do not try and use these techniques while he is screaming. But once he stops or later on in the day - you can refer back to them or pull the books back out.
You can find them here - http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_b_5
Hope this helps - it should:) Oh, and do let me know if he has any younger siblings. Best wishes."
" I am sure that at school he gets told "no" and apparently doesn't throw tantrums. So, he does have the ability to control himself. Unfortunately, he has kind of "learned" that his tantrums work for him. This is not that unusual for smart kids. Fortunately, they can usually pretty quickly figure out when things are not going there way - and try something else.
And a 6 year old boy can be a force of nature. I always thought my kindergarten/first grade teachers were absolute Saints for dealing with them.
Oh, do you have any younger kids (say around 2 or 3)? Sometimes these things start as attention getting and escalate. If so, there are a few additional things you can do.
So - do realize that possibly that some of the things you want him to do maybe aren't real easy for a 6 year old. So cut back just a bit (not a lot) on the do's and don't list. Try and redirect when possible.
But mainly don't, "spend a large portion of my day saying "the way you are acting is why we aren't (insert whatever activity here)" and he doesn't seem to get that... " Talking to him just will not work. And talking to him when he is having a tantrum - won't work.
The rule is that when he starts a tantrum - he gets a short timeout. And the timeout does not start until the tantrum stops. He will go nuts for a while. Just keep repeating - "as soon as you choose to stop your tantrum, the timeout will start and 2 min later you can ..." Do not try to reason with him or talk with him while he is yelling. You are just playing into his hands.
Essentially, the rules for behavior modification are that there must be immediate, short, consistent consequences. Do not expect overnight miracles. It has taken him awhile to get to this point and it will take a while to relearn control. But he will.
I would also look into buying "Cool down and work through anger" or "When I feel angry". This is part of a series of books aimed at 4 to 7 year olds and meant to be read to them at night (several times) and then practiced. Kids do need to be taught how to deal with anger. You do not try and use these techniques while he is screaming. But once he stops or later on in the day - you can refer back to them or pull the books back out.
You can find them here - http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Through-Anger-Learning-Along/dp/1575423464/ref=pd_sim_b_5
Hope this helps - it should:) Oh, and do let me know if he has any younger siblings. Best wishes."
Yes i do live in usa. Hes only in preschool and they had no isses with him
Every school is supposed to have a social worker. They are there to help you. Talk to the school about speaking to the social worker. If that person agrees that he needs to be evaluated it will be easier to make this happen with this person backing you up. If you need some help with discipline techniques they will also help you with this. I assume you live in the US?
How would you describe his father? Really, for a dad to put up with being kicked - is unusual.
His one brother is 11 they get along great he has a baby brother that will b 2 in march. And his father and i just moved in together over a year ago.
It's unusual that a 4 year old boy who behaves well in school feels like he can hit and kick his father. He can obviously control his behavior, and feels comfortable kicking his dad. I agree with Annie - there are family dynamics here that should be looked in to. Single moms often have this problem - married moms with dads in the home rarely have this dynamic, especially in cases like this where his behavior is normal at school.
How old are his brothers? If they are all bigger than he is, he might be feeling picked on. I do think it sounds a bit normal in terms of behavior of a little brother towards bigger ones who are lording it over him a little bit, if that is what is happening.
You didn't state anything in your post about discipline. This is not abnormal behavior for any four year old. He simply needs to be disciplined!
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