What to do about nephew

[antie270]

Hi there- I have a 14 y/o nephew that has been diagnosed with ADHD. However; I am convinced that he has other behavior disorders. He often sticks his hands down his pants and plays with his thing in front of his sisters, mother, grandparents, dad and myself. Then he will take his hands out and whip them on my face as well as my Mothers which is his Grandmother. We yell,.. etc and he thinks it's funny. I'm horrified.
He also is very sensitive about noises. No one can talk, watch tv, or make noise. Everything bothers him and he yells at everyone to shut up.
He also behaves horrible to his younger sister. He's so mean to her and he acts like he hates her...
He doesn't do well in school and only has 1 friend.
He does show interest in fishing and duck hunting and he does love his dog. Other then that he will just stay in his room and play video games. When he comes out.. there's nothing by shouting .
My brother and his wife do yell at him.. then he crys and says he wants to kill himself.. The behavior continues.. he is definite towards everyone except my dad. You have to tell him 15-20 times before he will do what he is told.
I'm convinced he needs to see a professional on a weekly basis.
I have tried to tell my brother and sister-in-law but they don't want to hear and it and they have to be around it so much that they just ignore it. I don't have kids so they think I don't know any thing.
Can you please give me some suggestions as to what could be wrong or what can I do

[Sandman2]

   Thank you for your reply.  It is pretty much right on.  Especially the part about the parent involvement.  Feel free to drop by the ADHD forum and lend you advice.   http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175

[Sandman2]

   Ok, I guess the big question is, "he has been diagnosed with ADHD"  and?  What are they doing about the ADHD thing.  There is a lot that can be done - including seeing a professional (they should go as well to learn how to deal with it).  ADHD is not something that you can let go untreated.  It will only get worse as they are finding out.
    Having said that - he does have some symptoms of Sensory Processing Disorder.  It looks a lot like ADHD, but is treated very differently (no meds).  And it is many times overlooked by a professional.   Check out this link and see if any of these things also fit him.
        http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/
   I am also curious how long he has had this ADHD diagnosis and what attempts have been made to help him.  I am also the CL on the ADHD site here - http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
    and have a lot of resources that could help if needed.  By the way, the one book I always recommend for ADHD is, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley.  Its around $12 on Amazon and might be very helpful if they have not been getting any info at all.  
    Let me know how I can help and do check out the SPD site.  Best wishes.
   Any

[Maamii0110]

im so sorry to hear whats happening with ur nephew. My younger brother was the same way when he was a kid. he is now 16 and is not the best behaved... drinking smoking partying having sex and hanging out with the wrong crowed. i  pretty much raised him as my mom wored all the time because she was a single mother of two. he has always had ADD and ADHD. he was verrrrry bad when he was a kid yelling screaming hitting punches scratches spitting! and anything u named up top. what i have noticed with my brother is that his pills did work but took a while and his doeses did go up twice.

i think if my brother had better discipline he would have turned out alot better. with more respected and patince for things. Yes ur nephew will need some weekly/ or bi weekly consoling. and it can not just be help with pills and ignoring it. they need the proper attention and proper discipline. please make sure that his mom and dad are very involed with everything he does then give him things that are challenging and that he likes to do on him own. it will help build his self esteam and concentration. I know alot of this because i have helped alot of kids with these disorders , such as autism. They need as much attention as possible. and No yelling.

i hope things get better wish you and your family luck.