sleep

[noah139]

Unitl 7 weeks ago my 12 year old daughter has slept in her own bedroom without any problems.She now will not go to sleep in her own room and paces the floor between my room and hers. Eventually usually falling asleep on the bottom of my bed. She left her primary school 8 weeks ago and has now started at comprehensive school. She loves her new school and has made new friends. She says she is frightened of being burgled and does not want to be alone at night. I dont know where this fear has come from as we dont watch crime programmes etc. is this a form of anxiety and what can i do to help her. her doctor said she is probably experiencing  alot of worry because of the big change in her school life and to "weather the storm". Any advice at what i can do to help her? I used to get angry with her but know i realise that was totally the wrong thing to do. I should be more supportive.

[margypops]

I was so glad for you that worked it out and all is improving I echo what Diva put here you are doing a really good job ...                          

[skepticalpeach]

It sounds like you are doing a really good job. I'm glad you stopped yelling at her, because that only makes things worse. Although I totally understand that when you are tired and just want some time to yourself it's hard not to yell. Have you considered playing some music for her while she falls asleep or playing a calm dvd? I had a lot of issues sleeping at night when I was 12, but I usually ended up crawling in bed with one of my 4 younger siblings.

[noah139]

Finallly getting somewhee. For the last three nights my daughter has slept in her own bed. At nine thirty i sit in her room on a chair and play games on my i pod unitl she falls asleep, (which usually takes 45 mins). I then go to my room. Two nights in a row she has slept until 5.30 in the morning. When she has woke up she comes in to my room and reads a book until 645 when its time to get up for school. Last night she slept from 10pm until 645 this morning. It was such a relief. I am hoping that things are starting to settle down now with her. my problem now is i cant get to sleep for a few hours as I am on alert in case she wakes up!!   : @ )

[margypops]

Has she said why she is feeling so insecure all of a sudden, there must be a reason , I am wondering if you should speak to the doctor as this is seeming like an anxiety issue .Have you mentioned her new friends , and whether they have discussed burglery and that kind of stuff?

[noah139]

Friday night, my daughter was so tired she feel asleep upstairs on my bed, so i stayed in her room all night and managed to get some sleep. Saturday she would not go back to her room and the same again last night. She said she is frightened of being burgled. We dont watch any crime programmes or the news so i dont where this has come from. She checks all of the doors with me and windows at night, but nothing is working. She also insists on taking all of her valuable belongings into my room, like her phone etc. Irts her birthday on thursday, so i am going to try and get her to stay in her room on wednesday night, so she will wake up with suprises in the morning. I even thought of taking her pet dwarf rabbit upstairs to see if that makes a difference. not very practical though.

[noah139]

thanks for your help. i dont feel as tense tonight as i have talked to someone about it. I will get back to you over  the weekend.

[margypops]

Yes talking it through does help.Have you asked her why she is so afraid ,if this issue is recent I feel something has triggered it, so finding why seems to be important, .I agree shouting is not the answer, then it becomes a battle.As I said find out if it could be anything to do with the new friends or school.I guess you could just let her sleep near you for a while see if the issue resolves itself ,my feeling is something or someone has upset her and if its not from home then it has to be school .

[noah139]

Thanks for your advice. I have tried on a number of times to get her to bed but as soon as i leave she is up and following me. I feel really guilty because i have shouted at her alot over  this sleep problem and i  know it would not have helped her at all. It has got to the stage where we are both tense every night at the thought of what we have to go through. I also live in a rented house so if my landlord gets any complaints about noise from my house i will be thrown out. My doctor said to leave it for a while and if there is no change she will be referred to a emotional well being councillor. The only problem there is, no matter how much she talks to this person, at the end of the day its me that has to cope with the situation..Please reply back as this is helping me by talking to someone. :=)

[margypops]

I would do what the doctor said and weather the storm its good advice ..I am wondering if some of the new friends got chatting about some 'stuff' that has made her afraid, it does happen .Talk to her, reassure her, and if she says that it is a friend or friends saying frightening stories, tell her to ignore them, laugh them off and come to you to tell you .Girls particularly seem to want to do this, it used to be telling ghost stories but its kind of a 'reality' show now With the sleeping, that's up to you, let her stay in your room for a while till this passes or be firm and send her back to her own room .good luck it sounds like you are being supportive by coming to ask others here ...