son's nightly routine

[Peaches73]

I am a mother of 2.  Every night at bedtime my 8 yr old son starts complaining of simple things to purposely keep him awake,  He will ask to sleep with his light on.  He has a small bedroom and also has 2 nitelites. My 9 yr old daughter has no problems at bedtime.  My husband & I have this nightly routine down where we each give kids hugs and kisses then say goodnight.  Within 3 minutes of us coming down stairs, our son comes down and says that he had a "bad nightmare" or "there's shadows in my room" or "i'm scared" or "rub my back."  This is becoming a headache.  We don't give in,  when things don't go my son's way he starts his crying.  We are extremely tired of this nightly bad habit.  I have taken away toys, computer and his bike.  What do we do to break this bad habit?  We have been very stern with him and he just keeps doing it.  Need help please.  HE is relentless, and will not drop the subject.  please give me some tips.

[mybabies1999]

I have an daughter who is almost 9 and a son who is 6. My daughter has always needed me to help her fall asleep. She slept with me until she was 4. I always put her to bed on her own, but always ended up with me in my bed. I walked the halls nightly for 4 years! There were times I thought I was going to lose my mind. My mother kept me going by always saying, hang in there it will get easier, she just needs you. I was really patient about it and even spoke with my physician. He always said that it was normal and there was nothing wrong with it, that in fact it would make them grow up to be very secure with themselves. As she got older (one year at a time), I would comprise with her. It was baby steps. When she turned 5, I told her she would have to start sleeping all night by herself, or she could sleep with her little brother, but the both of them couldn't wake up mommy until the sun came up. I still layed down beside them to until she fell asleep (she was worse than him). It was really cute, my son would come into my room in the morning and say, mommy its sunday, everyday until I asked him why he would say its sunday and he said the sun is out!! They did this until the start of school this year. This year they had the choice of going to bed with mommy beside them at 8pm, or getting to stay up an extra 45 minutes watching a show in their bed or reading, but would have to fall asleep on their own after their time was up. This worked out really well. I now have both of my children finally falling asleep on their own most of the nights without me, and there have been times she decided to sleep without her brother. I still don't mind laying down beside them, as I realize they are growing up so quickly and one day I will want those moments back. Give them that time, they will grow out of it grow up to be confident secure young individuals. I slept with my mother for a long time when I was a child and than with my sisters and it didn't hurt anyone.

[Muffy1521]

I have the same problem with my 2 kids. my sons 4 and daughter's 2. My daughter always keeps my son awake by asking him if he's sleeping yet or not, and telling him stories or singing songs. He yells..... MOM, SHE'S STILL NOT SLEEPING!!! eventually, I will take my son out of the room and he gets to sleep on the couch, so it's a reward for him being good and bad for her, because now she has to sleep by her LOUD self...lol
It always works. She will cry for a couple minutes, then out like a light. It works Both ways too. Because sometimes the older one is the culprit and the same thing happens, he cries, then fast asleep minutes later. I dont say anything to them when i take the "good" behaved one out of the room, just simply take him/her out without saying anything.

[babygirl6152]

here's something to try- have no clue whether or not it will work though-
Mom or Dad hopefully for awhile- one of you consistently stay with him a bit longer- even if that means earlier bedtime. My son would play nite nite games with me to help relax- yes even up to his teens- he would die if he knew I told you this. He wanted to sleep with me when he was 10 so at least you don't face that challenge. First we read a book, then off went the lights- this nite nite game can be anything-
20 Questions
word association game- first word you think of when I say ">>>>>", then goes back and forth.
'my word is red'  then child listens for last phonetic sound and begins a word with ending letter "d-" then you play off the ending of his word.
How is God like a chandelier? (brings light into the world) or whatever noun, deodorant (helps people be less stinky)..... it's silly but calming- any game you two can think up-
read different books or read together with a book night light....
played quietly in the dark we always both got plenty sleepy.

Now I realize this is not exactly what you want- it is not self soothing I realize, but it's a start.....my son is now 17, and is well adjusted. He has his own job and drives and dates and makes good grades and is obedient and respectful, but i guess there was just a glitch at that time where he needed mom more. Parenting is hard, I know, but well worth it.  Believe it or not, there were times I wanted to play the nite nite word game and he said- "I 'm really too sleepy, maybe next time."
Everything moms go through we sorta take it hard- we want our kids to grow up to be good adults, and we are afraid these little things might hinder that in the future. It rarely does. He will be fine.
BTW if this is grade 3, I know for a fact that school work is ten times harder in this grade. Maybe he wants extra affection to soothe him? Of course he can't rationalize all these thoughts, kids just react- It's up to the mom to be proactive and try new things.

Hang in the mom-  parenting can be hard. Make it fun if you can.....

Wanna know when was the last time I played the nite nite game with my son?