Is this common? Should I not be upset about this?

[AIO]

Hello This is my first post. When I was 5, I was on the back of a school bus with another boy that was the same age that started unzipping his pants and touching his penis and somehow I followed suite. A few times during that period, I initiated the actions myself. At the time, I didn't think nothing of it and was not uncomfortable at first, but a few periods later on in life, I started thinking about it in a negative light and got upset about it. For the most part, I never really dwelled on it other than coming to mind on occasion and playing mind games to stop thing about it and that worked well.  Since late May last year, I started getting the negative thoughts back and being depressed about those incidents since then. Sorry for long post, but this the first time I expressed this in any way outside of myself and I feel good about doing so. Now to the question. Is mutual masterbation such as I describe is normal? Should I be upset about this after over 25 years?  Thanks in advance for reading.

[margypops]

I agree supressing it isnt a good idea, so maybe once you have thought it through and talked even here about it, you may feel less inclined to think about it, its always our thoughts make us feel bad we cant feel upset by something unless we dwell on it first .Its normal to have thoughts pop into our heads its how we deal with it that makes the difference .I have found that if a nasty niggle pops into my head  perhaps something I feel guilty about, I allow myself a few mins to chew it through then I tell myself ,Stop ,before it takes a hold into a real worry .I doubt at 5 year old you really thought it was a bad thing and kids are curious aren't they.. .Twas but some moments in time ..

[AIO]

thanks for the responses guys. Just to add a little more clarity to things, I was having financial problems at the time, had changes I'm my life (great and not so great) and was a little depressed, nothing that was debilitating at all and all of a sudden the memory popped back. As I'm typing this and reflecting on the events, I think that supressing something that I know that I should think is minor may be the problem. Maybe because it was with another little boy instead of a  girl that was my age being the issue. Have no hang-ups about my sexuality at all. I just thought that I voluntarily pacticipated in something weird a couple of years after the fact.

[margypops]

why has it come back into your thoughts all these years later ?

[RockRose]

What's going on in your life,  since May,  that has caused you to dwell on this pretty insignificant couple of occurrences in your childhood?

BTW,  your post wasn't long.  ;D   It was very to the point.