when should i tell my son who is 4yrs old bout his bio dad

[coltoncg]

i have son who is 4,when i got pregnant my husband and i just got back together after 6month seperation.i then found out i was preg,i asumed by my husband,when he was bout 1 we divorced and i started talking with the guy i was seeing during our seperation,who i later found out is the bio dad,but my son calls my ex dad and sstill ask bout him(he has moved and does not have contact with him)my ex know he is not the "dad".but he wasnt real interested in him even before he knew,but now im seeing the bio dad but my son doesnt know (that he is his bio dad) and kinda of acts like he doesnt like him,i thought he would forget about the man he has called dad and i would tell him about this,but i dont know when i should,he is so young i dont know if he would understand,im so confused,i want to do the best thing for him,any suggestions.

[adgal]

Just something to add...I would not encourage him to call his bio dad "dad" unless you are 100% certain that this man is going to be a permanent part of this childs life regardless as to the status of your relationship with him.  Children cannot understand biological vs. non biological, and to have him attach to this man then be left by him has the potential to cause huge confusion and a real sense of abandonment.  As for timing...I might consult an expert.  I think this probably should be handled very carefully.  The last thing you want is a series of "dads" in and out of this childs life.  Best of luck to you, this cannot be an easy situation.

[psat]

let your son get to know his bio dad a lil longer as its all new to him it will take him awhile to adjust to a new man being around but eventually he will accept this man in his life thats when u can sit him down and explain that this new man is his new dad u kinda have to go at his pace xxx

[cheshchesh819]

this is a tricky one as your son sounds quite bright for his age,have you ever tried to encourage your son to call your boyfriend daddy,maybe you could just try that for now and see how that works,if th your husband is out of the picture try not to mention him,if this doesnt work then you will have to explain to him the facts,if you think he will be able to understand what you are saying i would do it sooner rather than later.