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Child hood mental abuse suffers Community
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3146117 tn?1343091264

Divorcing my mom

I had always had a difficult relationship with my mother for as long as I can remember. When I turned 53, I separated from my husband of 31 yrs. No one in my family could understand why I did it. Because I have Bipolar Disorder I, they all said it was because of that. But, it wasn't. He was a workaholic & would stay at the bakery we owned for days & nights at a time. I was alone all the time. It was not a marriage. My mother stopped speaking to me because she sided with my ex. She didn't talk to me for 2 yrs. When she finally did it was because she had run into me accidentally. After that, our relationship was very strained & she still felt the need to bash me about the divorce. Finally, I made the very difficult decision to not see or talk to her anymore. She was toxic to me & for me. I last spoke to her in October, 2011. I feel badly but I have accepted that this is the only healthy way that I can live my life. My 2 younger sisters have sided with her. My father I still keep in contact with through phone calls or emails. I was just wondering if any others have had a similar situation with their Family of Origion or Immediate Family.            Judy
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My father disassociated himself from me numerous times in my life.  At one period, it truly was a blessing.  I felt no stress at that time, but I wanted to have some kind of a relationship with my dad.

My relationship with my father never really amounted to much, but I now understand that it went that way because of his doing and not mine.

I did feel abandoned when I was younger, and I kept letting him into my life in order for him to make up for lost times.  (My folks were divorced when I was 4.)  As sad as this may sound, I should have just counted my losses as a kid and kept the divide between us.  It would have ended up being a healthier relationship.

I guess you have to look at it this way.  If not corresponding with your mother or sisters is proving to be less stressful, and you have no worries about the situation, then I say go with it.  Life is stressful enough and added drama is not necessary.  If you miss those relationships, YOU have to do something to facilitate any reconciliation.

Good luck
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