Hi folks, glad I found this group. I doesn't seem is if it is so active but I feel it necessary to post for one reason or another.
I began therapy for clinical depression about 2 years ago. Shortly into therapy, part of my problems had a label. I had been emotionally abused as a child by my father. I guess I knew that on some level, but I was in a denial of sorts, not wanting to blame my father for anything. I'm not going to make excuses for him. What he did was not okay, but I do think he did the best he could.
My father's father was relatively old when my dad was born. He was 60, so when his work day was over, he was through with everything. I always knew the man to be an awesome grandpa who loved us kids, but he didn't have a whole lot of time. I don't think my dad got the attention he needed as a child, and that in turn got passed on to me.
My parents divorced when I was 4, and shortly there afterwards it became obvious that my sister and I were going to be taking a back seat to my fathers "new life style". And that would have been okay, I think. What was not okay was the constant berating... me not being "the man he wanted me to be" as a child, me not being good enough, not tall enough, being too fat, being bad at school. Bah, all of that is what it is but it did take a toll on me.
Nowadays I have a better feeling about things. I've accepted things as they are/were. It's tough to do, but we can all get through this.