I'm sure that all at this site that lost their 'Best Friend' to CKD after a long extensive battle will agree that you soon found yourself secluded and without listeners during your grievance journey. In fact, it was probably suggested by some that you 'move on', and you probably even received some looks from others, as if your sanity was being questioned. You probably even started questioning yourself as to whether or not your actions were normal.
http://www.specialneedspets.org/caregvrs.htm
The above site is probably one of many, but, it serves it's purpose in putting things in perspective, and I don't agree with all the typical 'carbon copied' anecdotes, such as reading a book or taking a vacation, etc.."It AIN'T that EASY, and there are MANY other variables that can compound the fallout from CKD, such as many other health issues previous to the actual diagnosis of CKD.
I recently told Tony that I continually force myself to stay busy in hopes that it would lessen the pain, but it really hasn't put a dent into it. Time has 'Technically' made a noticeable difference, but, I still refuse to accept that the 'Final Chapter' was concluded in the book of 'Steffie', because there were so many battles that she and I fought, and most were with both permanent and temporary fixes with no death warrants attached. The problem with CKD is that it gives you false hope during a long battle. You start feeling that you have beaten it and your 'Best Friend' has absolutely no idea how ill they truly are,....BUT, realistically, you know yourself that 'That Day' will come and you don't know when.
Yes, there are many other horrible canine diseases, BUT, CKD is in a league by it's SOLE SELF, and ONLY those that have had to travel that journey can ONLY depend on those that have traveled that exact path for a complete and full understanding of what you are going through.