Why do women hold out on sex with their husbands/boyfriends when they are mad at them?

[teko]

Hello viners..!!

Its been awhile since I had a topic of the day. And today seems as good as any to get it going again. Mainly because it happened to me (dammit). My wife tends to use sex as a punishment when she is mad. Now I personally think that it unfair, selfish, and just plan bitchy.. Why do women feel like that is a decent punishment for us men. Not all women are this way I know, but I have heard it several times from other guys as well so I know its not just me. Now I think holding out is bad because it may even lead to an affair with another woman, and guess what, if you think you were mad at me then... Boy O Boy wait until you find out that I cheated beause you held out. Now I have not cheated because she held out. BUT, it has damn sure crossed my mind several times. So today this will be the topic . Feel free fellas to comment and tell your stories .. And ladies O YEA ladies ,. bring it on lol..

yes  
no
yes, but she gave in

[narla]

People don't cheat because their not getting sex they cheat because they're a$$holes.
My husband went without sex for nearly 12 months because I was having trouble dealing with some issues from my childhood but he didn't go out and cheat on me,maybe that's why we are still married after 30 years.

[specialmom]

Oh yeah, lets also make one other thing clear-------------- no person "causes" another to cheat.  That is their OWN stupidity!!

LOL----------  poop on you/no treat (as the proud mommy of a new puppy this analogy really hit home!  too funny)

[teko]

Its almost like a guy takes sex as being the one thing that makes him feel like the relationship is wonderful. It solves all his problems somehow. With a woman tho, that is not the case is it? If my dog poops on my rug, I am not giving him a treat ya know, same with hubby! You poop on me no treats! lol

I personally am not going to lay down with someone that I want to rip his head off his shoulders. If that causes him to cheat on me, then so be it! He better be prepared to live with her.

[specialmom]

Yes.  When I want to scream at my husband or cry with my face in the carpet because he can hurt me emotionally in ways no one else can . . . I immediately think------------ I want to rip off my close and make mad, passionate love!!!!  no

I think it isn't so much as "holding out" as not in the mood cause I'm pissed.  I'm not trying to make anyone suffer----------  I'm just trying to feel like I don't hate ya before I make myself vulnerable to you again.

Just being honest here.  Maybe too honest????  Luckily this doesn't come up often.

[narla]

I have to admit when you are upset with your husband sex is the last thing you are thinking of.
I can't imagine being angry and having sex,telling him how much he's p*ssed me off,and then enjoying an intimate moment.LOL
Not happening.  

[allaboutmary]

I would say I never really cut my husband off when I was mad.......it's just, how the heck can you be in the mood when your so pissed off.   I doubt he really wanted to have sex when he was really pissed at me either.

[el_em_en_oh]

Yay! I picked the right answer!!! "Men just don't understand women".

Personally, my wife & I have never done this to each other, but we have friends that have been "cut off" and it seems an immature way to handle it.

My wife and I tend to communicate & talk it out, rather than resorting to the immaturity of cutting each other off.

My 2 cents.

[brice1967]

For the sake of arguement, I have been the one in my relationship that has held out sex on my wife.  When going through my depression, I would be so drawn in that I couldnt believe a thing she said and didnt want to address any of it.  I'd rather sit and let all of the bad thoughts fester.

My wife would try to be affectionate and I'd just shut her down.  I dont get it because I rather enjoy having sex with my wife, but it was me holding out.

[Tarnished_Brass]

I don't understand the question