Student who made gun threat left in school

[brice1967]

http://hampton-northhampton.patch.com/groups/police-and-fire/p/police-investigating-after-student-threatens-to-kill-another-with-shotgun

So an 11 year old tells another child, "I am going to shoot you with a shot gun" after bullying this child for a couple of years..... and they leave the threatening bully in school.  Why?  If this isn't a damned cry for help I don't know what is.
Something seems amiss and they leave the potential problem in place....  This doesn't seem to be a head scratcher to me.

[brice1967]

In 7th grade, my son had this good buddy who was puny.  Literally this kid was 6 inches shorter than everyone in school and weighed barely 100 lbs.  To his credit, the kid was a fire cracker and would not allow himself to be bullied.  Unfortunately for him, it caused him a good deal of grief.

One day my son, this buddy and a group of 4 girls had walked off campus after school and were having a discussion.  A couple of kids that bullied my sons buddy came over to interrupt the ongoing conversation and began to try to bully this little kid Tyler.  My son who was bigger than the bullies started to play politician.  He asked the bullies to go away, that they had purposely stepped off of campus to avoid running into the bullies and that he (my son) was not going to put up with their tactics....  The larger of the bullies took a swipe at my son and Wade thumped him.

Here's the unfortunate part.  A teacher saw nothing, other than the fact that Wade punched this kid.  She completely missed the fact that the bully hit Wade first, and broke his glasses.  Wade was dragged to the office where I received a call that MY SON was being a bully and it was being tagged as a racially biased event, and was probably going to be looked at by law enforcement.

The other kids present were telling the teacher that she had it all wrong.  My son had never, ever been in a fight but this other kid had been suspended numerous times in prior years for fighting.

I show up at the office and there sits my son.  As I walk in he says, "Dad, I'm sorry but what was I supposed to do?"  The dean interrupted... "I'll do the talking"  I interrupted him and said, "You are playing with my time now, and if my son has something to say, he will do it now in front of you and any other witnesses in this room, do you understand?"  The guy just sat there.  Wade told me the whole story.  I asked the dean, "What is the problem with my son defending himself?"  The dean said, "It is fighting and we have a 0 policy for fighting."  I mentioned that I was more than okay with that, and asked where the other kid involved was.  "We sent him home.  There will be no disciplinary action against him.

I was handed a sheet of paper describing the policy and it clearly stated that "both parties" would be subjected to disciplinary action which could include detention, suspension, or both.  I pointed this out to the dean and the principal who joined the discussion.  I asked what their plan of attack was and they basically caved on the other kid, even though he had a proven fighting record within the district.  I asked them to interview everyone else present and they said, "since there were more of Wades friends present, of course they would side with Wade."  

AT closing I said, "is there a chance that they would side with Wade because Wade is telling the truth?"..... They both sat there dumbfounded.  I simply said, "if there is going to be any kind of a disciplinary action taken towards my son, the other kid had better receive a similar action or that I would be contacting my attorney and would sue the pants off of them."

Now, I understand the policy.  My son defended himself, was involved in an altercation and perhaps should have been scrutinized against.  So should this bully to got straightened out....  Nothing ever came of it and a representative of the school district told me in confidence that the district was afraid to do anything to the other kid, because of his race.....

Talk about setting bad precedent....  This still puts a bad taste in my mouth when I think about it, and this problem bully kid is still a bully picking on kids half his size.  He won't look my son in the face, however because he knows he will lose that fight.  

This bully's parents are a piece of work and are no example.  Dad supposedly spends time in jail for violence.  This is where the kids learn this stuff, and in 90 % of the cases, I am all for punishing the parents.  

I am glad that my son won't tolerate being a victim and won't allow his friends to be victimized either, but we both know he needs to choose his battles.  This one in particular, I think was a good choice.

[specialmom]

It really IS sad.  I say that to my husband all the time. I can't allow this boy around us but I do feel bad for him.  He's not getting what he needs to have self control, boundaries, or the ability to deal with other people appropriately.  I can't imagine what will happen down the road.  And I do think it could be prevented if they'd work on it more seriously with him.  

Anyway, yes. Very sad. And it is too bad for sure that the only way to get some parents to take action is to give them consequences as well but at this point, something needs to be done and I'd love to see that happen.  

[adgal]

I need a "Like" button for your post.  I agree with you.  It's a sad fact that for some parents, liability and legal accountability are the only way to get them to help their kids.  Sounds like the kid in your neighborhood is in dire need of help or he doesn't have a great future.  Mom not stepping into this and dealing with it gives him almost no chance, let alone the risk it puts other kids at.  So sad isn't it.  

[specialmom]

We have a boy on our street that threatens stuff constantly.  Latest was he told my son he was going to go to his garage and get his mom's saw and cut my sons head off.  I've tried to talk to the mom (single mom) and grandma (who they live with and is my neighbor) and they seem oblivious.  Uninterested, really.  They do not do a thing about it from what I've seen.  And I've seen the interaction a lot.  He's been attacking one of my kids and the mom stands quietly so I step in and get her kid to stop.  I know he's been in anger management sessions with our school counselor that runs programs.  His mom tells me that he has been diagnosed with adhd but she refuses medication because she doesn't believe in it.  He is untethered and babied at the same time which is kind of a dangerous combination.  I've not seen him suffer many repercussions for his actions other than from me who doesn't let him in our yard.  (He hits, throws things, kicks, tried to choke one of my boys and screams at my kids AND me.  Done.  I don't mess with that kind of situation.)  

Anyway, in all seriousness, I think bullying should be like underage drinking.  That parents are fined and held liable.  I think we'd see a change of some sort if parents were held accountable and warnings, fines, etc. were sent to THEM to help settle it or stifle it in their child.  

[adgal]

It's like someone threatening suicide. Often people are dismissed as dramatic or not being serious.  This is especially true with children.  We are trained that if anyone uses words like that, it is an automatic 911, end of story.  The school has to take a no tolerance stance on bullying and violence or threatening violence.  We never know if people are serious, plus bullying is not ok anyway.  The courts can mandate profssional help, and in my opinion that is what should have happened here.  What message are we also sending to the kid that was threatened and is being bullied?  The message is "your not safe here".  So wrong for both of these children