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184674 tn?1360860493

Bedtime story--for adults

Ummm...wow. Just, wow.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/05/13/go.the.f--k.to.sleep/index.html?hpt=C2

(CNN) -- Adam Mansbach's toddler wasn't thirsty. She wasn't hungry. And she definitely didn't need Dad to make up another story about farm animals having a picnic and dozing off. The possibility that he would never get to leave her room for dinner or a glass of wine or the world outside became a distinct possibility.

The noted author didn't keep his feelings to himself. Instead, he turned his frustration into writing "Go the F**k to Sleep," a tongue-in-cheek adult bedtime book that has swept the Internet and has already hit No.1 on the Amazon bestseller list a month before its June 14 publication date. Illustrator Ricardo Cortés captures the colorful mood of Mansbach's poetry.

The cubs and the lions are snoring,
Wrapped in a big snuggly heap.
How come you can do all this other great sh*t
But you can't lie the f**k down and sleep?

"I laughed and laughed and laughed," said Colleen Oppenzato, a Brooklyn mother of a 3-year-old boy who fights sleep every night and a 1-year-old girl who doesn't. "I thought it was my life. Every single page, you're like 'yes, yes.' You don't need water, you don't need to go to the bathroom. You just don't want to sleep."

"Go the F**k to Sleep" hits a nerve with parents who hope for a life after their kids' bedtime. Independent publisher Akashic Books has responded to preorders and overwhelming Internet interest by increasing its first printing to at least 150,000 copies and moving up the publication date from October to June.

The nightly exhaustion is "a frustrating part about something we love very much," said Mansbach, a visiting professor at Rutgers University. "A lot of these frustrations are not permissible to talk about. We're not completely honest because we don't want to be bad parents."

"Looking at parenting books, there are more and more books that are less earnest about raising your child. They help parents step back and laugh at themselves a bit," said Mark Rotella, senior editor at Publishers Weekly and father of a 5- and 2 -year-old.

"It's more like a parenting book for when the parent is inconsolable in the middle of night and frustrated."

--Mark Rotella, senior editor at Publishers Weekly "It's more like a parenting book for when the parent is inconsolable in the middle of night and frustrated." (Rotella warns parents not to leave the book lying around for children to see, noting that the illustrations are captivating.)

Mansbach, whose novels include "The End of the Jews" and the best-selling "Angry Black White Boy," started out as a poet before writing full-length novels.

Each of his new book's 32 pages is written in the style of a classic children's picture book, but there are two conversations going on: The first two lines are what the parent is saying to the kid; the second half is the internal monologue that is never said.

The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run and creep.
I know you're not thirsty. That's bullsh*t. Stop lying.
Lie the f**k down, my darling, and sleep.

At the end of the day, the child never hears the worst of the parent's frustration.

"The book is all about the obligation of a good parent to internalize the frustration and take the irrational behavior of a child and absorb it oneself," said Akashic Publisher Johnny Temple.

"The book is an outlet for that frustration, but it completely reinforces parents sucking it up and dealing with it. There's never a moment where the kid suffers because of the parent. It's actually pretty idealistic."

A G-rated version appropriate for young children is in the works, inspired by Temple's censored reading of the book to his 3- and 5-year-old children.

"They're aware we struggle every night to get them to sleep, and they get a big kick out of the fact that the book addresses their stall tactics," Temple said.

Has his reading of the book taught his children any empathy for their parents' nightly struggle?

Not at all. The 3-year-old's current tactic is to demand Mom or Dad snuggle to get him to sleep. "And this is after the juice and too many books," Temple said. Even then, it's a gamble to get up. "When you hear his breathing change, can you get out of the bed too early and burn yourself for another 15 minutes?"

The movie rights have been sold to Fox 2000.
29 Responses
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377493 tn?1356502149
Well, I will stand up and admit it.  Yes, I get frustrated at times with my child (funny you mention trying to prevent them from climbing up on everything!).  Yep, I do have to take a deep breath sometimes and yes, sometimes I curse in my head.  Not against him..he is just doing what toddlers do, but more a arrrghhhh kind of thing.  This happens especially at 3 am when he won't sleep and I am exhausted.  So I guess I can kind of relate to what the author is saying and I do find the humor in it.  Nope, I don't hit my child or abuse him or neglect him in any way shape or form.  In fact, I think most know me well enough to know he is my world and I would happily give my life for him if I had to.  But yes, I have moments.  So I don't think we can really say that someone who sometimes feels this way would behave that way or use that language.  That's too far of a jump for me simply because I know I don't, so I assume it's much the same for others.  
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535822 tn?1443976780
Of course you all do ..well done ..no point saying anything else against those odds ...LOL
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1035252 tn?1427227833
I agree with Barb about agreeing with Teko. And I am glad that Mike agrees with me about agreeing with Barb...haha.

Audrey, I'm shocked we finally found something to disagree about! LOL didn't know it was possible ;-).

I guess part of MY humor at the concept of the book comes from the fact that my kids are only 21 months apart...so the better part of the last 3 years, my sleep has been non-existent. Not that I would change a thing, not that I'm not totally thrilled with the way my life is turning out....but it does make for some mental exhaustion. so Yes, I have absolutely 100% muttered in my head "if you don't go to sleep, I swear I'll find some insomniac family to adopt you where you can happily spend all night yammering about ponies and having pillow fights, cause it ain't this family"....and yes, I'm sure I'll get slammed for saying that, but as I said before I would NEVER say or do it...and if I get a hysterical giggle from the thought, what harm? My daughter thinks I'm in a good mood, I smile and the frustration is released..we move on. That's all this book was in my opinion..a way to break the frustration and move on.

And...once again. It's nothing I would ever buy or a concept I would ever espouse, but I sure did laugh because I can relate to the sentiment involved..a sentiment that says"oh my goshI'm so tired, you're so awake, and this is NO a good combination!"
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649848 tn?1534633700
You go girl.........

Any conversation of this type would be held "silently" in our own heads, right??  No damage done to the kids, because no words are actually spoken ....... that's always the goal ---- to prevent damage to the kids.

When my children were growing up, I could have written volumes that contained curse words (yep, even the F word, though I don't use it, except in extreme cases); however, I never cursed at my children.... I wouldn't buy the book either; my kids are grown and I've already been down that road......

I agree with teko...................
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535822 tn?1443976780
I think that if someone can write like that he undoubtedly uses those words in his home ..I would be surprised if a book like this would not be seen by children and the older ones semi teen most definately will ..so the idea.. its a adult book kids wont see it, doesn't fly ..I think the fact he would even think the way he does about children weird and as I said 'methinks he does protest too much' .its a beligerant tome and I bet he swears like a goodun...
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Avatar universal
I dont think I would purchase the book either, but I think the discussion was as to being a parent, the frustration that is behind the word and if we could relate. Yes? In that vein I think anyone that has ever been up all night for nights on end with a colicky baby or a 2 year old that refuses to stay off high places etc.

Do those words need to be used? Of course not, but it is a book for adults. Sex books for adults do not make us ****** either, altho Im sure them men wish it did.... Lighten Up as El says!

I say choose your battles and this is just not one of them for me..... Sticks and Stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me comes to mind and Im not gonna read it to my grandchildren at bedtime so big whoop.
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184674 tn?1360860493
I guess for me, I find the F word the absolute most offensive swear word in the English language. I just do not like it, written or spoken. I suppose it may come from years of hearing it directed at me in a few past verbally and emotionally abusive relationships. Does that mean I can't handle hearing or reading it? No, I'm fine with it and in this society it's unfortunately unavoidable to hear/read this nasty word at least once a day--but I don't like it, and I am being completely honest in saying that even in my head, this is not a word I use except for when in extreme moods of anger (and it takes a LOT to get me to that point). Even then, I'm not proud of the fact that this word crosses my mind or comes out of my mouth. I find it shameful.
So I guess for me, when seeing something like this that is directed at children, I can't find the humor in it simply due to the F word being used. It's just not my cup of tea for humor. I cannot see myself ever having this word cross my mind in frustration over my child not sleeping--and believe me, I go through some kind of sleep deprivation almost every night due to my 16 month old. It gets frustrating beyond all reason some nights. There are nights I contemplate putting him in his crib and shutting him in his room and leaving him there to cry all night because I'm just SO tired from doing the same thing night after night for hours at a time--SO tired after doing this for nearly two years due to the fact that I had horrible insomnia from reflux, pain and preterm labor for five weeks during my pregnancy. I have honestly not slept a full night's sleep (more than five hours--and my nights are usually less than five hours of sleep) in two years! I work full time all day and run myself ragged with errands and extra curricular activites during the evenings and weekends.
So yes...I have had a few cuss words run across my mind from time to time in frustration and exhaustion. But the F word? Almost never.
To use it so often and so freely in a book like this to express introverted frustration at your own child is just not funny to me in the least. I think I'm also too literal in how I take things. The F word has a meaning that is sexual. I don't care HOW the F word is used--the meaning of the word is sexual, in a derogatory and/or assualting way.
Again, I do realize I take it very literally, but this is the reason I can't find humor in the word, particularly used even with introverted frustration with a child.
I'm a prude, I know.
I understand that people can find the humor in this book and it's not meant to be taken seriously. I do not take this book seriously. I just don't find it funny, either, nor is it something I have any desire to read or own in my home.
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377493 tn?1356502149
Well, there is one point we can agree on here.  I also can see that society has gone downhill in many ways.  We may not agree exactly on what those are, but I agree with the general point.  See...there is always something to see eye to eye on..lol.
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Avatar universal
I get your point, but I respectfully disagree. lol
I still stand by the fact that we as a society have degrated to basically anything goes. Go look at old movies and you watch how they progressed. Read the old old books. I am not saying all the same sin wasnt around back then, it was--its in the bible but our country did have morals at one time. Little by little things that were not acceptable have become the norm. The bizarre things were shocking at first, but now accepted widly. It continues. I think the acceptance of filthy words is a reflection of a darker society,and sad to say, the filthy words are the least of our problems.
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377493 tn?1356502149
bbxx, I hear what you are saying.  And if we actually spoke like that out loud or to our children I would 100% agree with you.  But have you never cursed in your head?  I am not one to swear for the most part, and certainly never in front of my child, but in my head?  Yep, it happens.  And I do not consider myself a person with lack of morals.  It's my own private, in my head conversation.  I think there is a world of difference.  I have read many books I enjoy that have less the child appropriate language or content.  I certainly wouldn't let him read them or share them with him.  
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Avatar universal
This whole discussion is an example of how far society has degraded. Wrong is now right and right is now wrong. The F word is considered funny, humorous. A great outlet.
Look at everyone defending it.
Everything is good and ok. Everything goes. Nothing is wrong anymore, unless of course you have morals.
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649848 tn?1534633700
Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion.  

I do find it hard to understand how expecting kids to be respectful has anything to do with reading a book, with bad language, that the kids know nothing about.  

I've never yet run across a parent who didn't get angry/frustrated with their children about one thing or another, whether it be refusing to eat, go to bed, put away toys, etc.  This book might provide a humorous outlet for parents, for handling feelings that may arise, so, as adgal said -  as long as the words are not spoken out loud to children, who is it hurting? .   I'd much rather see parents read a book to release their frustration than actually taking it out on the kids, which is the ultimate harm and disrespect to children.  



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535822 tn?1443976780
That is my opinion I say he did ,and by cursing out I mean using bad language about them its my opinion ...how can we expect children to be respectful if we are not respectful about them . to ..Mike  of course you do hahahah ...
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377493 tn?1356502149
I can fully admit that there are times I have had conversations like that...in my head only of course.  I love kids and especially my own but am human and have my moments.  I would never actually speak like that TO him, but if saying something like that in my head makes me smile and see the humor in it, then who is it hurting?  I think it's funny.

Ashlen...the words "perfect" and "parent" just don't go together..lol.  I always say the only time I was a perfect parent was before I actually became one.  Had it all planned out how it was going to go.  Yeah, right!! lol.
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Avatar universal
I agree with Ashelen about agreeing with Barb.

Mike
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1035252 tn?1427227833
I have to agree with Barb on this one.

No kids were ACTUALLY cursed out, so I don't see how it's harmful. If it's a humorous outlet that helps parents keep their sanity - isn't that a good thing? Like I said before I don't think people with kids are actually bringing this home and reading it, seriously. It's just...a joke.

And I know I'M not a perfect parent. I certainly don't cuss at my kids, but many's the night that I've thought "just GO the HECK to SLEEP"..and I think most people have had that thought before too.
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535822 tn?1443976780
I don't think its anything to do with humor..but we still have the 1st amendment well last time I looked but disappearing fast ,so its okay for him to use language and be mean about kids .I am being honest I don't think it is dishonest if someone doesn't like to hear children cursed out .His words are offensive .......
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649848 tn?1534633700
The book was written for parents, not children and it says not to leave out for children to read....... I can totally relate, because I had one that I would have loved to be able to tie to the bed -- as with everyone else, I would never do this, but the thought (and many more) crossed my mind....... LOL   The language that went though my head was not nearly so nice as the soothing sounds I made to get my darling baby to go to sleep.  

If there's one thing I've learned, particularly over the past year - if you don't laugh at things, you will go crazy........

Remember --- the book is for parents, not children........we all have our frustrations and thoughts......  people find humor in all different situations (I have a tendency to laugh at the most inappropriate times)...... the writer of this book wasn't necessarily being selfish and only worrying about his drink........ he was expressing his frustration in a humorous way....... I guess if anyone doesn't find it humorous, they wouldn't buy the book.

Laugh when you can....... but above all, be honest...
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206807 tn?1331936184
I’ll be honest, there were times when I understood why some species eat their young.
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Avatar universal
I raised six kids and I can honestly relate with this author. I think if people are honest and have more than 2 kids, they will tell you they can relate as well. Now as rewarding as having them 6 kids was in the end, it wasnt rewarding or even fun while doing it much of the time. Im glad they are raised and NO I would NOT do it over if given the choice. Since Im being honest. I remember feeling guilty for some of the feelings, thoughts and language I had back then, especially on Sundays when we were all getting ready for church. By the time I got there, I was in sincere need of repentence and forgiveness.

Now ya dont go around feeling like that 24/7 for sure, but yeah! Parenting does have its moments for sure.
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535822 tn?1443976780
Not good ..not a kind pleasant person this author of trash. ..not humor .....Bad language and nasty thoughts do not make a good parent ...Methinks he does protest  too much ..
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202436 tn?1326474333
I can relate to the frusteration.  AFter having a child who REFUSED to sleep unless she was laying on me I can totally understand.  DD7 STILL Has sleep issues and it can be extremely frusterating to say the least.  While I have thought some of those things (not necessarily phrased the same way) I don't think I would go so far as to write a book, not would I ever tell my child these things.  I figure that my kids are eventually going to be grown ups sooner or later and I will have plenty of time for my own life then.
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1035252 tn?1427227833
no April I don't think most people do - although maybe I'm a prude as well. that's what I was saying earlier exactly - there may be times when I'm threatening to sit on my daughter so she stops bouncing on the bed and goes to sleep (wouldn't ever do it, in case you're worried, lol) but never would there be a foul word in there...THAT, I don't get. I hear it occasionally but I think in the main most parents don't cuss at their kids.
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203342 tn?1328737207
Maybe I'm old fashioned and a prude anymore, but what's with all the foul language? Is it really necessary? Do people really talk this way to kids and not see a problem with it? What ever happened to common decency, manners and holding a higher standard? When did it become so common place and ok even with children?
What a sad world we live in anymore.
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