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Neighbor sends hate filled letter to family with autistic child
An Oshawa family is reeling after receiving a typed letter filled with vitriol that says the family should “euthanize” their autistic son.
The letter, rife with grammar and spelling mistakes, targets the autistic son of the family who, according to the author, “scares the hell out of [her] normal children.”
“You selfishly put your kid outside everyday and let him be a [sic] nothing but a nuisance and a problem to everyone else with that noise polluting whaling [sic] he constantly makes!!!” the anonymous letter reads. “That noise he makes when he is outside is DREADFUL!!!!!!!!!!”
Karla Begley, whose son Maxwell has moderate to severe autism, saw the letter on Saturday. It was delivered to her mother’s home in Newcastle Friday where Max plays in the backyard on his grandmother’s trampoline.
“You’d figure that his grandma’s backyard is his safe place. He goes there to relax,” Begley said in an interview Monday. “Ok, he can’t go to his favourite place. It’s heartbreaking.”
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The hate-filled letter pleads with the family to “do the right thing” and either move or “euthanize” their son.
Begley said she was “floored” by the letter and thinks it tries to reduce her son to “a waste of space.” When he was younger, she said, it was difficult to take him out. But now that he is 13 years old it’s getting easier for him to be sociable.
Durham police are investigating.
“We’re worried about our son’s safety and other kids’ safety,” Begley said. “A loose cannon like that, you never know what she could do.”
Sam DeCaria, a spokesperson for the Autism Canada Foundation finds the letter “disturbing.”
“This is not the way that the Greater Toronto Area should be going,” he said in an interview. “It should be going the other way to being more sympathetic, empathetic, more understanding, more tolerant to avoid an incident like this.”
The Autism Canada Foundation exists to disseminate information about what autism is and bridge gaps of understanding and tolerance. And while more people are understanding of the condition, a small minority of intolerant and ignorant people can lead to “pretty terrible eventualities,” DeCaria said.
“Autistic individuals typically present as otherwise normal individuals,” he said. “Imagine a young boy like Max flailing his arms in public. If those around him don’t understand it, the consequences can be very bad.”
Maxwell doesn’t know about the letter and Begley said they just want Maxwell to be treated the same as everyone else.
“Maxwell deserves every right to live in this wonderful community. He deserves his right to see his grandma. He deserves everything every other normal child can have. It’s tough on kids with special needs, making friends and stuff because they can’t get out the same way. But no one deserves to be treated like this.”
On Monday evening, Edmonton MP Mike Lake, who has a son with autism, spoke to Global News about the letter, which he said he had a hard time reading without choking up.
Lake hopes the mean-spirited letter won’t discourage the family.
“One of the most difficult things for families dealing with autism is to take that step and to get out there with their kids, and to feel comfortable getting out with their kids. And families need to know they have the support of the community when they do that,” he said.
He also believes the family has the support of people across the country.
“I would say, that 99.999 per cent of Canadian families, their hearts would be with that family tonight, and they would absolutely reject the sentiments in that letter. And I think that’s the most important thing.”
Read the full letter below:
autism hate letter oshawa
A copy of the letter was also distributed online. August 19, 2013.
-With files from Cindy Pom
http://globalnews.ca/news/789411/oshawa-family-receives-hate-filled-letter-directed-at-autistic-son/
The letter, rife with grammar and spelling mistakes, targets the autistic son of the family who, according to the author, “scares the hell out of [her] normal children.”
“You selfishly put your kid outside everyday and let him be a [sic] nothing but a nuisance and a problem to everyone else with that noise polluting whaling [sic] he constantly makes!!!” the anonymous letter reads. “That noise he makes when he is outside is DREADFUL!!!!!!!!!!”
Karla Begley, whose son Maxwell has moderate to severe autism, saw the letter on Saturday. It was delivered to her mother’s home in Newcastle Friday where Max plays in the backyard on his grandmother’s trampoline.
“You’d figure that his grandma’s backyard is his safe place. He goes there to relax,” Begley said in an interview Monday. “Ok, he can’t go to his favourite place. It’s heartbreaking.”
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The hate-filled letter pleads with the family to “do the right thing” and either move or “euthanize” their son.
Begley said she was “floored” by the letter and thinks it tries to reduce her son to “a waste of space.” When he was younger, she said, it was difficult to take him out. But now that he is 13 years old it’s getting easier for him to be sociable.
Durham police are investigating.
“We’re worried about our son’s safety and other kids’ safety,” Begley said. “A loose cannon like that, you never know what she could do.”
Sam DeCaria, a spokesperson for the Autism Canada Foundation finds the letter “disturbing.”
“This is not the way that the Greater Toronto Area should be going,” he said in an interview. “It should be going the other way to being more sympathetic, empathetic, more understanding, more tolerant to avoid an incident like this.”
The Autism Canada Foundation exists to disseminate information about what autism is and bridge gaps of understanding and tolerance. And while more people are understanding of the condition, a small minority of intolerant and ignorant people can lead to “pretty terrible eventualities,” DeCaria said.
“Autistic individuals typically present as otherwise normal individuals,” he said. “Imagine a young boy like Max flailing his arms in public. If those around him don’t understand it, the consequences can be very bad.”
Maxwell doesn’t know about the letter and Begley said they just want Maxwell to be treated the same as everyone else.
“Maxwell deserves every right to live in this wonderful community. He deserves his right to see his grandma. He deserves everything every other normal child can have. It’s tough on kids with special needs, making friends and stuff because they can’t get out the same way. But no one deserves to be treated like this.”
On Monday evening, Edmonton MP Mike Lake, who has a son with autism, spoke to Global News about the letter, which he said he had a hard time reading without choking up.
Lake hopes the mean-spirited letter won’t discourage the family.
“One of the most difficult things for families dealing with autism is to take that step and to get out there with their kids, and to feel comfortable getting out with their kids. And families need to know they have the support of the community when they do that,” he said.
He also believes the family has the support of people across the country.
“I would say, that 99.999 per cent of Canadian families, their hearts would be with that family tonight, and they would absolutely reject the sentiments in that letter. And I think that’s the most important thing.”
Read the full letter below:
autism hate letter oshawa
A copy of the letter was also distributed online. August 19, 2013.
-With files from Cindy Pom
http://globalnews.ca/news/789411/oshawa-family-receives-hate-filled-letter-directed-at-autistic-son/
I can truly say I still see 20 shades of red when I think about this. Even if it is a prank, I hope the responsible party is caught and charges laid. I don't think there is any question but that the family did receive the letter, so someone needs to pay. I'm not sure how the law here will play out with regards to this - perhaps as uttering a threat? I just don't know, but surely there has to be some law with this.
All children need patience and love. I have an autistic cousin (well, two actually, although one is very high functioning). When I think of how difficult it has been for my aunt and uncle to get the supports they needed, and to look at him today as a young man and see how well he is doing because of their devotion and determination, ignorance such as this hits home. What ever happened to a society where we support one another.
It makes me sad that people like this even exist. Who could be filled with so much hate for any child, let alone one with special needs.
SM, you did say it beautifully and I am so happy your boy has a mom like you!!
All children need patience and love. I have an autistic cousin (well, two actually, although one is very high functioning). When I think of how difficult it has been for my aunt and uncle to get the supports they needed, and to look at him today as a young man and see how well he is doing because of their devotion and determination, ignorance such as this hits home. What ever happened to a society where we support one another.
It makes me sad that people like this even exist. Who could be filled with so much hate for any child, let alone one with special needs.
SM, you did say it beautifully and I am so happy your boy has a mom like you!!
Don't you have to wonder what this woman would have done, if her own child had been autistic? Would she have hated her own child as much as she does this neighbor child. How sad is that?
This brings another thought to mind - they shouldn't really have that much trouble finding the person, because it seems that she has to be close enough to be able to hear this child. Seems that they need to go door to door in this neighborhood and see who has no concept of how to write a letter, can't spell and uses pink paper. They can check printers and/or typewriters to determine which one printed that letter. I hope the police use every bit of technology available to them.
This brings another thought to mind - they shouldn't really have that much trouble finding the person, because it seems that she has to be close enough to be able to hear this child. Seems that they need to go door to door in this neighborhood and see who has no concept of how to write a letter, can't spell and uses pink paper. They can check printers and/or typewriters to determine which one printed that letter. I hope the police use every bit of technology available to them.
It's hard to fathom people being so filled with hatred.
These are the people who think their kids are "the best" and are capable of nothing but unicorn dreams and pixie dust.... then they kill someone (because they were taught intolerance) and then mom has no idea what when wrong.
I just saw this on FB; my kids (both with kids of their own) are both up in arms about it, as they should be. I think it's one of the most despicable things I've ever read.
Isn't there a law against hate mail, such as this?
At first, I hoped it was some kind of prank or hoax, too, but after reading it a couple of times, the more it reeks of someone who is horribly stupid and intolerant of other people. Just think, people like this have kids of their own, who will likely grow up with the same attitudes.
As my daughter says "All children are special to God".
Isn't there a law against hate mail, such as this?
At first, I hoped it was some kind of prank or hoax, too, but after reading it a couple of times, the more it reeks of someone who is horribly stupid and intolerant of other people. Just think, people like this have kids of their own, who will likely grow up with the same attitudes.
As my daughter says "All children are special to God".
I read that horrible letter yesterday and could not believe what I read. I, like teko would hope to high heavens that this is some kind of a prank. But even at that, who says this kind of intolerant hate crap?
If this is an adult, I hope the media does to her what it does to politicians. That would be more than fair. Put a face on intolerance and hate.
If this is an adult, I hope the media does to her what it does to politicians. That would be more than fair. Put a face on intolerance and hate.
Heartfelt and beautifully said,sm.
When the writer of the letter is exposed, then she too will know what it is like to feel like a pariah in society. Sometimes a good kick in the teeth is what people need to get a sense of empathy in their lives.
I also remember those looks at my child and my heart too, still hurts for the ugliness that sweetest and most innocent child had to endure because of his differences.
The one thing universal to us all is the need to belong and their is nothing more cruel to a child than to be an outcast.
The one comfort I have now that he is grown is that he has a keen sense of justice and is deeply empathetic toward others. He allows no one to stand alone in the rain.
As unfair as it is, pain can make us better people.
When the writer of the letter is exposed, then she too will know what it is like to feel like a pariah in society. Sometimes a good kick in the teeth is what people need to get a sense of empathy in their lives.
I also remember those looks at my child and my heart too, still hurts for the ugliness that sweetest and most innocent child had to endure because of his differences.
The one thing universal to us all is the need to belong and their is nothing more cruel to a child than to be an outcast.
The one comfort I have now that he is grown is that he has a keen sense of justice and is deeply empathetic toward others. He allows no one to stand alone in the rain.
As unfair as it is, pain can make us better people.
I'm glad the police are involved and I hope they find who sent it and make the name public. I read the letter. It was the most hateful, disgusting thing I've ever read. Makes me sick that people can be so cruel. I'm glad the neighborhood is rallying behind this family. Dealing with a child with severe autism is heartbreaking, I'm sure. And then to receive something like that in the mail?
When you have a child that is special needs, it can be very lonely. In the years in which my son was being diagnosed, I felt the negative attitude at times from others and it still hurts my heart to think about that. My thought at the time was that *I* would always love my son no matter what but feared this rotten (sometimes) world we live in and how many in this world would treat him. That letter really hits home to me that families that who have special needs kids need love and support and to not be ignored or seen as a burden. We were lucky in that my son made dramatic improvements and is doing really well.. But I remember going to the park and seeing two mom's whispering and looking at my son like he was the devil. (they were lucky I didn't rip their faces off) and parents who wouldn't speak to me in line to pick my son up from preschool. Those types of things were not unusual. Isolation is a common thing when you are parenting a kid with challenges.
And then to read the letter sent to that family. Really breaks my heart.
I just sent my kids off for their first day of school. It's a leap of faith that they will encounter kind and patient people throughout their day. I hope the world is nice to my sons and everyone's children.
When you have a child that is special needs, it can be very lonely. In the years in which my son was being diagnosed, I felt the negative attitude at times from others and it still hurts my heart to think about that. My thought at the time was that *I* would always love my son no matter what but feared this rotten (sometimes) world we live in and how many in this world would treat him. That letter really hits home to me that families that who have special needs kids need love and support and to not be ignored or seen as a burden. We were lucky in that my son made dramatic improvements and is doing really well.. But I remember going to the park and seeing two mom's whispering and looking at my son like he was the devil. (they were lucky I didn't rip their faces off) and parents who wouldn't speak to me in line to pick my son up from preschool. Those types of things were not unusual. Isolation is a common thing when you are parenting a kid with challenges.
And then to read the letter sent to that family. Really breaks my heart.
I just sent my kids off for their first day of school. It's a leap of faith that they will encounter kind and patient people throughout their day. I hope the world is nice to my sons and everyone's children.
This sounds like a teenage prank gone wild to me. At least, I would hope that is all it is? Surely this is all it is. I hope they get to the bottom of who, what and why something like this happened. I am really getting concerned about the hate spreading in this country. This along with the three teenage kids that shot an Australian college student, because they were bored? And one of em laughed and danced while being arrested? I think we as a country really need a wake up call. Horrible stuff going on all over the place.
The link I provided gives you a copy of the actual letter. Sadly this was not a hoax (which I thought it was at first - who could be so horrid). It's all over our news. The person that wrote this letter deserves to be outed and at the mercy of her entire neighborhood. The police are looking into it, and I hope they find her and arrest her - just for being a horrible horrible human being. This is free speech gone way to far.
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