Seizing children born with Fetal Alchol Syndrome

Question

This debate came up recently between myself and some friends.  I am curious to hear others thoughts on it.  Typically, if a child is born addicted to drugs, they are taken in to custody by Children's Protective Services.  The goal is to reunite at some point, but if a parent is addicted to drugs, the child born addicted often does not get the intervention it needs to overcome this.  Parents are usually required to attend rehab and be drug free (through testing) for a certain amount of time prior to being reunited. I fully support this.  Children born with FAS are often another story.  Nothing is done to intervene.  In my line of work I often see the adult product and it's not pretty.  Typically they have addiction issues themselves along with a host of other problems and the cycle repeats itself.  But because drinking alcohol is legal, it seems CPS's hands are tied.  In my opinion, children born with FAS should be treated the same as children born with drug addictions.  The outcome is as serious.  Lot's of times these kids just don't have a chance.  Even with all the education now being done with pregnant women on the dangers of drinking heavily while pregnant, the problem continues.  I would very much like to hear others thoughts...should the law be amended for children born with FAS?  I personally think it should.

adgal · Answer

Such a tragic outcome.  I too am glad your son is doing what he is doing.  Sounds like his momma raised him right!  Sadly stories like this are not uncommon.  And perhaps many could have had a different outcome.  We need to tread lightly, but we need to better assess situations and act in the best interest of children. Addiction is such a sad thing.  And again, no winners in these situations as Teko's story shows.  I'm so sorry your family experienced that.

specialmom · Answer

Oh, I'm so glad that your son has stepped up and is doing a good job.  It is hard work being a single parent but a single dad after such a tragedy adds another layer of difficulty to it.  He must be a good man.  I fully agree.  When a child is at risk, you have to act.  And with addiction, the child is always at stake.  They are innocent and need our protection.

teko · Answer

They are fine now, my son is doing a wonderful job as single dad. He even got cards for mothers day from them. But if someone had intervened, maybe it could have had a different outcome? She was more concerned about her habit than the baby and if my son had not been there like he was, the baby could have been harmed as well. I am all for intervention is these situations as well as criminal charges for abuse, and negligence. People can call it what they  want, we have a responsibility to our children.

specialmom · Answer

OMG. That is such a painful story. These are your grandkids, right? I'm very sorry. Drug addiction takes hold and does wicked things to a person. So tragic for everyone but especially those poor kids. I hope that they are doing alright.

teko · Answer

I had a daughter in law that was a druggie. She was on methadone while pregnant because they say you cannot withdrawl someone who is pregnant. She gave birth to two children this way. The only thing they did was tell her she had to breastfeed so the baby would get its fix as well, and they slowly weaned them to a bottle. No one ever intervened to see that the child was well. This daughter in law died a couple years ago. They found her dead and she had eaten a pain patch, still in her mouth. 4 kids left with no mom and the youngest was only a couple of weeks old.

adgal · Answer

Me too.  And as I mentioned in one of the posts above a lot of the adults I work with were born with FAS.  It's so awful to watch.  They typically are addicts themselves and often are incapable of making good decisions (that part of their brain is just not properly wired).  It's often like dealing with small children who are trying to take control of their own lives.  It's just heartbreaking.  Now FAS is a spectrum, and I am mainly talking about the severe cases.  I don't know what the right answer is.  I think at the end of the day it has to be one of those things that is taken on a case by case basis.  Every situation is a bit different.  But at the end of the day there are no winners.  It's so incredibly sad.

specialmom · Answer

I do think first and foremost, kids have to be safe.  Drastic measures are necessary for that sometimes and an addict just isn't able to adequately care for their child. So many that are "forced" into treatment do not recover from their addiction as they have to want it for themselves.  I am not opposed to those who look after the safety of a child and think that is above anything else including a parent's feelings.  I hope they get clean and are reunited but during the process, that is not a healthy environment for a child.  The sad thing to me is that the alternative also stinks.  No good answer and innocent children left to suffer.  I suppose the best case scenario is that a Grandmother or sibling could take the children until the parent is able to care for them.  But remember, we are talking about FAS children that require a lot more care than your average kid.  Let me say it again that from the bottom of my heart, that situation makes me sad and is hard to think about.

adgal · Answer

In thinking more about this, I suppose that the perfect happy medium would be where possible to have the children stay with the parents, but have support services more readily available.  I believe that most want to be good parents, but if you haven't had good parenting in your life, that may not be natural to you.  I do believe that people with active addictions should be forced into treatment in order to keep there kids.  I just hate to see generation after generation following the same path.  And it does happen, no question.

specialmom · Answer

I think most kids should remain with their parents unless the parents are addicts or abusing their children.  It's a difficult situation because often the other options are also unappealing and unsafe for kids.  It is sad.

adgal · Answer

No, your right. It is a gov't agency.  I just wasn't 100% clear on what you were saying.  I think I understand now, you don't think children should be taken.  

I hate to ever see children taken away, but I guess I feel that using drugs or heavy drinking during pregnancy is a form of abuse and as much as I hate to see children in foster care, I do feel it's a better alternative to abuse.  I guess I don't see that as gov't control.

margypops · Answer

I gave my opinion thats all ..I assumed that childrens protective services were run by government but maybe I was wrong I do not know anything about Canada .......

adgal · Answer

I'm sorry, I don't quite understand what you mean.  Could you please explain further?  Do you mean that seizing children born with fetal alcohol syndrome and born drug addicted is gov't control?  And I am curious as to what historical event you mean?  This topic is of great interest to me.

margypops · Answer

I disagree....the implications are too big to do that its more government control of peoples lives ....sounds a bit like something that happened in History before .....

adgal · Answer

I don't think your being judgemental.  Your right.  As much as I feel badly for someone suffering from addiction (I still think it's a disease.), that doesn't mean an innocent child should be subjected to it.  We had a case here recently where a two year old died of overdose.  She had gotten her hands on her fathers meth and swallowed it.  The parents were charged only with failure to provide the neccessities of life.  And your right about the foster/adoption system too.  As much as many want to adopt, sadly not too many are lining up to take on a child with something as serious as FAS.  I think no matter what the ultimate solution is, the child loses.  It breaks my heart.

specialmom · Answer

I wanted to clarify and say that I am not trying to be judgemental towards someone addicted to drugs and alcohol.  My comment is more towards the fact that their addiction caused an innocent child's future to be very hard.

specialmom · Answer

Well, that is a difficult thing.  When is a parent ready to handle children?  Hard to say.  The other options are also not so appealing.  FAS kids are difficult to handle and a foster program can be a rough place for such a kid.  Adoption to a healthy, stable home?  Well it takes a big heart to sign up for a child such as this.  Family members?  Sometimes that works out but often a whole family has issues and that isn't much better.  My cousin works for one of the early intervention programs that I mentioned in my area.  She was visiting a mother and child in their home.  The 2 year old picked up the mother's lighter.  The mother snatched it away and held out that child's little hand and put the open flame of the lighter to it.  This was IN FRONT of my cousin.  I asked her what she did as I was appalled.  She said she wrote it up to her supervisor and that she did a body check for bruises and didn't see any.  They talked to her about appropriate ways to discipline.  But nothing was done further. Why?  (I was really disgusted by this story).  She said because the foster system for a child can far worse than home.  Now that does not go for a drug addicted person.  They obviously can not care for a child as they put drugs above all else.  Those children have to go into the system.  In our city, they are tracked developmentally, as I said.  It is after 3 that intervention stops (well, decent intervention).    
It is very tragic for these children.  Many people do not deserve the blessing of a child.  I really believe that.

adgal · Answer

I agree with much of what you say.  Intervention for any child with an extra challenge is so important and can make such a big difference in their lives.

My concern with counting on parents to take care of this required early intervention with FAS and drug addicted children is that they are often so caught up in their own addiction, the child does not get the attention and extra care needed.  They are often lax in even taking these kids to the different programs.  That is where I feel someone has to intervene on that childs behalf.  I don't think these parents are horrid people, I think they are sick.

So, in a case like your son's, no question he is getting whatever he needs. He has involved healthy parents.  He will grow up just fine, I have no doubt.  But in cases where there are serious issues at home combined with an actual medical issue like FAS, it often doesn't happen.  It's just so sad.

specialmom · Answer

Ah.  A difficult and painful subject.   In the US, children that are age birth to 3 are enrolled in programs that go by different names in different locations.  They are government sponsored programs to track the development of these little ones.  The goal is to coordinate services for them and begin early intervention as needed.  It is primarily free for those of low income and there is a cost scale as household income goes up.  A physician that is releasing a child from the hospital can submit the child for the program and it can happen anywhere and at any time during a child's first three years.  I do think in theory that we have some programs in this country to help our kids.  After three, a child goes into the local public school system where they live for early intervention.  This is where care breaks down (and one of the reasons I am against public health care as I wouldn't allow the public school system  to tend to the developmental needs of my challenged child . . . they are often sub par as institutional care is often going to be).  A child is supposed to get care such as psychological services, occupational therapy, speech, physical therapy, etc. through the school.  They do the bare minimum and you have to stay on them to hold them to their word.  I'm fortunate that I didn't rely on any of this to help with my child.  I'm sometimes shocked at how FAS can look so much like the disorder that my son has.  That is why I relate to what these kids go through and how difficult it is to care for them. 

I'm a big advocate for supporting disabilities acts for children and keeping special needs programs in our public schools funded.  Not for my child as we have the means to provide private services.  But I feel for the kids that only have this as their option.  Our Democratic governor has received several letters from me as he continues to cut funding to special needs programs.