Am i depressed?

[nicnoc237]

I think i am suffering with anxiety and depression, i am scared to go out, cry all the time, feel 'different' and detached from everything...help me, i feel like i am losing my mind and want to be happy and confident again. I am scared of never feeling the same again and don't know what to do. I have been like this for seven weeks now and have been off work. The other day i forced myself to work, as my boyfriend and parents think it will be good for me, rather than sitting at home all day, so i went to work and 3 days later my work sent me home saying they don't think i am well enough. They are very concerned about me and said i'm not myself and i'm not well enough. They are very concerned about me and said i'm not myself and i'm not well enough to be at work. My manager said i barely talk to anyone, she has to drag me into conversations etc. They said i need to get better first and they are not sure being back at work right now is helping me. Sat talking to them about things and was crying the whole time, which was embarrassing. They said they will allow me to do part time hours - 2 days a week for now and then i can build it up, but said i should get some counselling or something or sit down with my family and talk about how i feel - which i have.

I have had counselling and always tell my family and friends how i feel, but none of this helps - i am not getting better, i just feel worse and am eating well, trying to do a little exercise etc, taking Omega 3, which i have heard is suppossed to help with depression etc, my doctor has offered me anti-depressants but i don't want to take them as side effects seem awful.

Is this really depression and if so what can i do to get better?

Im exhausted and crying all the time...

please help me xxx

[Hensley258]

Well, birdie0907 I wouldn't exactly say "they work" I would say they help a lot, but I am at a stage of progression with this disease that has made me very medication resistant.

19 years of taking Psychotropic drugs tends to build tolerance to them. Now days it take a sick amount and combination of drugs just to keep me fuctional.

SSRI's and SNRI's are light weight stuff to me and wouldn't put a dent in my condition.
I take the big dogs. Protriptilyne 15mgs, Lithium 900Mgs a day, Lamictal 200Mgs, Klonopin 2Mgs a day, Deplin, and a dash of Paxil for the Serotonin effect.

After 19 years of taking powerful antidepressants I have now developed  neurological damage in the form of hand and arm tremmors. God knows what else they have done to me, but it beats living in a Psych ward.

It didn't used to be that way. Early on I would get years of remission, but then it just became worse and worse. The time spent in remission started getting shorter and shorter and I had to keep making med changes to kick the beast back down.

I would kill for a good two years of remission at this point.

[birdie0907]

Most of the side effects go away in a short time too, so do not just quit taking them without consulting a professional. It is best to get your prescriptions from a pharmacy that has 24 hour service, because you can ask them about any worries you have and get instant relief if they are minor in nature.

[birdie0907]

The first depression increases your chance of another, and 2 dep almost guarantees you chronic dep. Good thing your meds work.

[Julie359]

Hiya, just thought i'd say that it is worth giving the anti-d's a try, please don't be frightened of them, yes they can give you side effects but what gave Mr Jones bad side effects could be ur magic pill, everyone is different so please don't listen to anyone telling you their horror stories of anti-d's because they have and do save millions of lives.  

When u see ur doc get the med's and take the meds one day at a time, see how u go.... If u find u feel unhappy with that med there are tons more that may suit u better, so don't give up..... Also you can go down other routes as well as western med's, herbal, chinese, even things like reflexology and accupunture..... the list is endless.  

I really do hope u start to feel better soon, please don't give up hope...... all the best now

[Hensley258]

For me meds worked great and my symptoms were much the same as the person that posted. Unfortunatly unlike some people I was not aboe to stop taking them. Tried many times, but when I did the symptoms just returned even worse.

[birdie0907]

You got a lot of replies which I skimmed over. Much of it is good advice, but where I perhaps differ is meds brought me out of it + I was able to quit taking them afterwards.

I have been fine for a year now, so if you are lucky as I was, there is hope. Sadly, for about 20% of people there is no med that really works, but for the rest it is a matter of trying one and if it doesn't work after the period it takes to kick in, trying another. They take 6 - 8 weeks for max effect, but I couldn't get enough from Wellbutrin to last past 4 PM before the gray skies rolled in from nowhere like a frightening wave of bleakness that was making its daily rounds and finally caught up to me each day, then would not leave me for hardly a moment until sleeptime. Fortunately Celexa saved the day, including some relief after a week.

Celexa brought relief during the dep and anxiety period which (combined with the readings I was doing about learning how to cope) gave me a breather from the ever-present dep. Dep was so powerful that it seemed there could be no way for my brain to ever function happily again before the meds kicked in.
I read in a meditation book that said very few people are exceptional enough to get rid of a dep without meds because only meds can give you that boost to happy positive thinking that is needed before you can focus on staying happy.