Am i depressed?

[nicnoc237]

I think i am suffering with anxiety and depression, i am scared to go out, cry all the time, feel 'different' and detached from everything...help me, i feel like i am losing my mind and want to be happy and confident again. I am scared of never feeling the same again and don't know what to do. I have been like this for seven weeks now and have been off work. The other day i forced myself to work, as my boyfriend and parents think it will be good for me, rather than sitting at home all day, so i went to work and 3 days later my work sent me home saying they don't think i am well enough. They are very concerned about me and said i'm not myself and i'm not well enough. They are very concerned about me and said i'm not myself and i'm not well enough to be at work. My manager said i barely talk to anyone, she has to drag me into conversations etc. They said i need to get better first and they are not sure being back at work right now is helping me. Sat talking to them about things and was crying the whole time, which was embarrassing. They said they will allow me to do part time hours - 2 days a week for now and then i can build it up, but said i should get some counselling or something or sit down with my family and talk about how i feel - which i have.

I have had counselling and always tell my family and friends how i feel, but none of this helps - i am not getting better, i just feel worse and am eating well, trying to do a little exercise etc, taking Omega 3, which i have heard is suppossed to help with depression etc, my doctor has offered me anti-depressants but i don't want to take them as side effects seem awful.

Is this really depression and if so what can i do to get better?

Im exhausted and crying all the time...

please help me xxx

[mammo]

Yes, you are seriously depressed.  You need to take the medication and continue with therapy. The few people that have any serious side effects are few, compared to the millions who are helped succesfully with the meds.  Sometimes just talking to family and friends is not enough, you need a psychaitrist who can determine what your issues are if any at all.  You may have a chemical imbalance causing the depression, and will have to take medication the rest of your life.  Please don't allow fear of medication stop you from living a happy life, it's not worth it!  You would be shocked to know how many people are out here who can only function due to the medications.  You don't want your life to continue like this.  Call your doctor and get the medication, it will take several weeks before you will start to feel better so be patient.

[star26793]

i feel the same way but i tried over 12 differents med nothing helped me i feel lost to mines got so bad i think i'm dying of something.i wish i had the answers myself hope we find something oneday.

[bestwishes]

I have found that St. John's Worth and a combination of talking your problems out to a trusted friend/relative helped me majorly in my depressive states. Just like anything time heals all wounds. The St. John's is a natural herb but it helped me to focus, increased my memory (kept me from being so easily distracted), and it also helped with my energy.

I recommend to see a therapist just to talk to someone (I found one for myself through my employer's EAP assistance program). I totally felt like the bottom of the podum before I went.... but after my first session, I felt as though I was taking control of my life because i wanted to live.

I've been where you are and I promise it gets better. Just hang in there :)

[whodunnit]

Hi Nic,

Mammo is pretty much spot on here. I couldn't have said it better.

Don't let the fear others spread deter you from a recovery you need and deserve. Please, it's not worth the pain to keep saying no. Your choice but the solution is there for you as the doctor has prescribed.

It's not easy recovering but if you need meds why would you say no? Any med can be stopped as soon as you notice a side effect you can't handle and such effects are usually reversed very quickly.

St John's Wort is for very mild depression only and I would suggest you do not place your faith in it to recover from what you describe. And, above all, do not EVER mis prescription meds with this well known weed.

Real meds and therapy are the road to recovery from what you now feel.

[marialou]

hi hun,first of all after seven weeks of this feeling and you mention your boyfriend and parents which tells me your only young..and that people around you care....sorry love,meds are not the only way to go...they are an option but not your only one.
i dont know your reasons for feeling the way you do but 7 weeks is somethin worth fighting for.keep strong,good luck

[mammo]

Time does not heal all wounds.  It only allows us to tuck them neatly away until a time when they will surface again, and it will need to be dealt with.  This is why many of us are in therapy as adults due to things that happened in our childhood.  Also, your depression may be chemical, and medication can only help this.  It sounds like you have a lot of support, but sometimes we need more than just support.  Decide today that you are going to take your life back and call your doctor.

[nicnoc237]

Thank you for all your replies. I have an appointment with my doctor for next week. Can depression also make you feel really out of it/dream like. Sometimes i feel like i am just exisiting - i can't enjoy anything, like i'm not part of anything. It's such a scaring feeling - i feel like i am losing my mind. xx

[ophy]

It's good that you are getting an appointment with your doctor.
And yes, those feelings are definitely linked to depression. I suffer from both depression and anxiety and i have suffered these symptoms many many times. It is a really scary feeling, i know exactly what you mean. I went through a period where i felt like i was dreaming and everything seemed unreal and at times i would think i wasn't even alive and like nothing was real. I too felt as though i was loosing my mind. It's horrible but it will pass. For me, understanding that other people were experiencing the same thing really helped. These symptoms are called depersonalization/derealization and although they are associated with anxiety, i still experienced them through depression. I don't know if it is called something different when talking about depression. You'll be ok, just hang on x

[nicnoc237]

Thank you for your message. It makes me feel a little betetr to know i'm not losing my mind! It's such a scary feeling and very distressing, i just hope it passes in time so i can enjoy my life again xx

[aguilasmex1000]

hey ophy i used to be like that like you described, that was when i was a junior in high school, then they went away with medication but the side effects sucked. Then!? i got anxiety again 2 months after i graduated. But not as bad as the first time. I  am doing much better Thank God and i do sometimes feel anxious but i handle it and sometimes sad also but i try not 2 pay attention. I read what you wrote and it sounded just like if you were talking about me. I just want 2 ask you how are you doing better, have you been treated or are you on the road to recovery?

[whodunnit]

Hi again,

I note a comment that after taking meds and stopping the anxiety etc came back.

Of course. Meds don't cure the problem, they relieve the symptoms. It is therapy, talking it out and finding the cause of your problem if possible that can cure it. Meds are designed to do what a headache tablet does. Relieve the headache. But it doesn't stop a headache next day does it?

Same thing with depression meds.

Some of us, like me, need to take meds long term and probably life, me that is. That's Ok as I wouldn't survive without them although I do check that every time I switch meds.

With meds the thing is to be informed and not afraid. If you are informed then you should know before hand which med is not worth trying. Use a site such as rxlist to check meds out as well as asking on here and similar places. Users know best how they feel.

You mention therapy as not helping. Well, when very depressed it doesn't as you are not thining rationally enough to gain the maximum benefits from it. If you do accept the meds and feel better, that's the time to do the therapy and it will help at that stage.

[nicnoc237]

Hi

Thank you for your message.

I understand what you are saying and i think i may give medication a go. I have also booked a session with a different counsellor who i'm hoping can help me. I really want to be back to my old self.

Is it normal to feel woozy and weird with depression/anxiety?

xx

[whodunnit]

Hi again,

Almost any sort of feeling is possible with depression I'm afraid. That's why we often ignore it as we think it might just be a bug etc.

Woozy and weird are hard words to say yes to but they sound appropriate. Woozy may be a combination of tiredness, lack of concentration, disinterest and weird may be that plus a want to isolate, lack of concentration, sleep disturbance (erratic sleep) and of course, eating the wrong food at the wrong time or even not eating at all.

In my worst period I basically forgot to eat. I was overweight so it didn't harm me in the slightest (always loved my food) but I lost 5 stone in about 3 months that time, the only time ever I've lost.

I wasn't trying to do that, was just so overwhelmed by misery and suicidal thoughts I forgot most of the time. Never felt hungry. Tells you how powerful this illness is, if I don't get hungry anything is likely. Believe me.

So, woozy and weird? Sure. The best way to think that through though is to try and define for yourself exactly what those words mean, to you, for this purpose. Look up depression symptoms on Google and just go through the many lists and you'll see things that will ring a bell with you.

In other words many smaller things may be the real names of those two words. Many use the words brain fog which isn't too helpful for a doc but it describes a combination of these symptoms you see. So other sufferers get it without having to use many words.

For an individual though it just confuses us as if we see the real symptoms we can understand what they mean and KNOW what is wrong.

Good luck at the doc's and the therapist too. Be patient with them, they have a lot to learn. About you.

[Hensley258]

Yea, I'm sorry to tell you but that's Major Depression. No question in my mind because I can tell by the way you described it.

I'm sure along with this your also having some pretty bad anxiety also.

I know what your thinking because I did the same thing, "How can this be depression because it feels like I am going insane?"

That's what Major depression feels like. You will have this weird scary feeling of feeling dissattached. Your world (almost visually even) will take on a strage feel to it (almost like your walking in space and everything seems 2 dimensional)

That's moderate "maybe" severe Major Depression. Don't worry, it can't make you insane, but it will make you feel that way.

Hate to tell you, but Consoling and Omega 3 won't even put a dent in it when it gets to that level.

Good news! I was worse than you (same symptoms) and meds saved my life and got me back to normal again.

You go right away and find a good Psychiatrist (spell those words) NOT A REGULAR MD OR PSYCHOLOGIST.

NOT a therapist either - only a Board certified Psychiatrist. You tell him exactly all your symptoms - leave nothing out.

You may not like being on Medication, but it beats the hell out of being in a fog of anxiety everyday.

It won't go away until you get help. Trust me on that one.

[birdie0907]

You got a lot of replies which I skimmed over. Much of it is good advice, but where I perhaps differ is meds brought me out of it + I was able to quit taking them afterwards.

I have been fine for a year now, so if you are lucky as I was, there is hope. Sadly, for about 20% of people there is no med that really works, but for the rest it is a matter of trying one and if it doesn't work after the period it takes to kick in, trying another. They take 6 - 8 weeks for max effect, but I couldn't get enough from Wellbutrin to last past 4 PM before the gray skies rolled in from nowhere like a frightening wave of bleakness that was making its daily rounds and finally caught up to me each day, then would not leave me for hardly a moment until sleeptime. Fortunately Celexa saved the day, including some relief after a week.

Celexa brought relief during the dep and anxiety period which (combined with the readings I was doing about learning how to cope) gave me a breather from the ever-present dep. Dep was so powerful that it seemed there could be no way for my brain to ever function happily again before the meds kicked in.
I read in a meditation book that said very few people are exceptional enough to get rid of a dep without meds because only meds can give you that boost to happy positive thinking that is needed before you can focus on staying happy.

[Hensley258]

For me meds worked great and my symptoms were much the same as the person that posted. Unfortunatly unlike some people I was not aboe to stop taking them. Tried many times, but when I did the symptoms just returned even worse.

[Julie359]

Hiya, just thought i'd say that it is worth giving the anti-d's a try, please don't be frightened of them, yes they can give you side effects but what gave Mr Jones bad side effects could be ur magic pill, everyone is different so please don't listen to anyone telling you their horror stories of anti-d's because they have and do save millions of lives.  

When u see ur doc get the med's and take the meds one day at a time, see how u go.... If u find u feel unhappy with that med there are tons more that may suit u better, so don't give up..... Also you can go down other routes as well as western med's, herbal, chinese, even things like reflexology and accupunture..... the list is endless.  

I really do hope u start to feel better soon, please don't give up hope...... all the best now

[birdie0907]

The first depression increases your chance of another, and 2 dep almost guarantees you chronic dep. Good thing your meds work.

[birdie0907]

Most of the side effects go away in a short time too, so do not just quit taking them without consulting a professional. It is best to get your prescriptions from a pharmacy that has 24 hour service, because you can ask them about any worries you have and get instant relief if they are minor in nature.

[Hensley258]

Well, birdie0907 I wouldn't exactly say "they work" I would say they help a lot, but I am at a stage of progression with this disease that has made me very medication resistant.

19 years of taking Psychotropic drugs tends to build tolerance to them. Now days it take a sick amount and combination of drugs just to keep me fuctional.

SSRI's and SNRI's are light weight stuff to me and wouldn't put a dent in my condition.
I take the big dogs. Protriptilyne 15mgs, Lithium 900Mgs a day, Lamictal 200Mgs, Klonopin 2Mgs a day, Deplin, and a dash of Paxil for the Serotonin effect.

After 19 years of taking powerful antidepressants I have now developed  neurological damage in the form of hand and arm tremmors. God knows what else they have done to me, but it beats living in a Psych ward.

It didn't used to be that way. Early on I would get years of remission, but then it just became worse and worse. The time spent in remission started getting shorter and shorter and I had to keep making med changes to kick the beast back down.

I would kill for a good two years of remission at this point.

[nicnoc237]

Hi all,

Just thought i'd update you all on how i am getting on...

Went to docs today and they seem adamant it's anxiety and depression. They are going to refer me to a neurologist anyway to rule out anything else, as i am feeling very off balance and my head is constantly woozy, which is the main reason i feel depressed and anxious because i feel out of it all the time! :-( She did say i may benefit from anti-depressants but understands why i don't want to take them and has suggested i give st johns wort a go for my anxiety and back's rescue remedy for my anxiety...has anyone tried these and do they help at all? I am currently working 2 days a week, but still struggling with everything...will i ever be my normal self again?!

Hope you are all well xx

[Hensley258]

Sounds to me like your Depression and anxiety symptoms are way too pronounced for something as weak as St. John Wort to help.

St. Johns Wort works "sometimes" for people with VERY mild depression. It almost never helps a person that is really suffering.

St. Johns Wort is highly regarded only by people who have never taken it before and don't have Major Depression. Just ask them and they will tell you it's great!

If you don't want to take medication, then don't take it. If you honestly think that you can tough life out for the long term without any relief then only you can make that choice. I have to hand it to you.....Your a lot tougher than I am because when I became sick like you, I was willing to eat horse manure if it would get me feeling better again.

Maybe yours will just go away. In rare cases I have heard of Major depression going away on it's own. I just have never met a person with that experience.

[whodunnit]

Hi again,

You actually sound quite good in your post but that's misleading I know.

Pretty much agree with Hensley. Including the horse manure! Me too.

St John's really is for mild D only and is dangerous if taken with any real meds. They clash and make you ill. SO if you try it make sure your body is clear of other meds OK.

Bach's rescue remedy I had never heard of. But looking it up tells me it's another over the counter attempt at giving hope to people for a few bucks. I know nothing about it but a cure for $5? I don't think so. Maybe as a placebo.

Sending you to a neurologist is good practice as all good docs should be considering physical causes as well as others. To eliminate possibilities is useful and worth doing. It could identify a physical cause that can be treated surgically etc so good luck with the visit.

I guess the main message here is there is a time frame during which we can hang on and refuse recommended treatment. Not specific but the reality is the longher a depression/anxiety is left untreated the more likely it is to deepen. I ignored mine forever and now have it for life, no question. Just managed to reach a balance which is OK but this is it for me.

Don't you let it go too long without facing reality Nic. Hope is great but ,,,,

[Hensley258]

When I first became sick I was just like you. I said, "no way I'm going to take that antidepressant poison."

I was going to just try to tough it out also with just therapy alone. I regret doing this because by not allowing myself Psychiatric care in the form of medication, I ended up trying to kill myself. (I was going to stand in front of a fast train)

I tried that twice, but moved out of the way at the last second (not sure why)

Shortly after that a relitive noticed I was suicidal and I had to go to the Psych ward.
After being put on the right meds (and a little time) I could have kicked myself in the *** for having not taken meds sooner. I felt great like my old self again.

Just saying that by resisting what you really need you put yourself at serious risk. You may not be suicidal right now (I wasn't at first either) but it can get so much worse that you may go suicidal. It's just not worth it.

Don't underestimate how deep and severe Major depression and anxiety can go. It can reach levels so deep that even now you can't even imagine.