cant stop crying contemplating suicide

[J_90]

it seems like it been years now since i ever actually enjoyed anything. my social life is nonexistent as i just dont feel like talking to anyone and the few friends i had stopped calling months ago. i go to college now and i thought it might make things better but i find myself unable to even speak to anybody, when i get called on in class my heart starts hammering because i feel like people might look at me, and im not a bad look guy it just makes me feel worthless and i cant even talk to anybody, which makes me feel more worthless. on top of that ive have had a really shaky financial situation after having lost my job only a week into college, and one thing after another leaves me constantly on the edge with no money, im just so tired and want it all to stop. help me please

[iwannahelp]

j90 how are you can you check in?

[iwannahelp]

J90  I wanted to add something and I don't tell you this to make you feel quilty or sad but please do not let your mind wander around the big "s" word!  I tell you this because just over two weeks ago my sibling commited suicide and I have been heartbroken and devistated beyond belief.  I am so sad and it has affected many people around them.   I will never be the same and I wish they had talked to me about their feelings but I did not know.  

[iwannahelp]

It sounds like you are just totally overwhelmed and then this happens it makes it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel of hope.  I get it!  Then when you start to feel hopeless you start to pull away from people because partly maybe you don't feel others can relate and the other part maybe you just don't want to talk to anyone.    Please know money issues while they can feel so overwhelming can and do pass with time.  I think you need to join a social group of others who are struggling in your area or speak of your feelings to a counselor who knows and unserstands these things.  The more you withdrawl from people and keep to yourself you become alienated and your mind is forced to race and think of things... go to dark places it does not need to be.

Remember whatever the problem is big or small there is someone else out there experiencing the exact same thing, feelings and emotions.  You are NOT alone in this.  Talk to us if you need to - but please get into some support groups if you can I think it would really help you out alot.

[toni2251]

Life is really hard. When I was your age I couldn't even go to school because of how I felt. I'm now 40 and love being around people. As you get older, you learn to become stronger. Take some psychology courses. I would suggest counseling but I assume you have no insurance. Listen, it gets better. Join a church to get some friends. You cannot be alone. Also, prayer helps me. You need some coping skills like I did. Start reading some good articles on the Internet. Get some books. Your life is worth a lot. You can't take it. It's worth to much. You may not see it, but I know it. People who don't even know you but if you left this world it would hurt me. Hang in there!

[Loner99]

Hey. U need to remember that u hve to have some downs in life so that you can truly appreciate the ups :) I have been there.. Several other on here have been there. It does pass.. Also, you may wanna look into a work study program at college and look into the many college scholarships on the Internet. There are a ton. Head up ! :)

[Bubulous]

Hello and welcome to the forum,

A lot of people live on the outside looking in when the have some social anxiety problems.  It means that you see the projected image of your body when you start to talk or people look at you.  You may want to go see a dr and try to get on some anti-anxiety meds and perhaps some anti-depressants.  You feel like you are losing your grip on a life that doesn't even seem worthwhile anymore anyway.  You can either talk yourself into dying or talk yourself into living.  If you are truly tired of this cage you have trapped your mind in and you are so overwhelmed that you are willing to take your life you should realize that changes are going to have to be made.  In the end it won't be you taking your life.  It will be your mind wanting to shut down so that you can escape.  Trust me I have been there before.  You don't have to and quite frankly CAN"T do it on your own anymore.  Keep coming back here and we will help in whatever way we can but I urge you to get help.  And if it means missing some classes, so what.
If you kill yourself you are not going to be in school anyway.  There is NOTHING in this world that is worth you giving your souls to.  Society and school and your insecurities are bleeding your soul right now.
Anyway please take the first step and find a therapist, and try to get on some meds to take the edge off.