Do I have a type of Depression?

[wishashi]

For about three years now, I have had a chronic feeling of sadness hanging over me in anything that I do.  I am happy sometimes, but I always have a feeling like I am umbearably sad.  I am only fourteen years old, and my mom seems to think that I just tell her that for attention, which I don't.  I know that this isn't a normal feeling that people should have, because plenty of other people my age are happy, and while I can be happy it always comes down to me being sad.  I always seem to feel like I am by myself no matter how many people tell me I am not.  I always have a sense of lonliness. I have had problems with cutting myself, but am no longer doing it.  I have been abused in the past and am now out of that situation, and two years ago, my dad (of whom was the abuser) died.  Is my constant feeling of being sad and feeling lonely due to my past, or is it some type of depression?

[amanda77rainbow]

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. A school counselor might be a good start. Even if you're not comfortable with that on a longterm basis, a counselor could at least contact your mom and recommend that you get some outside help. If not that, maybe you could just tell your mom that you'd like to talk to someone. Talk therapy might make a huge difference here, and you'd at least have someone to listen to you and someone who will stand behind you.
It's possible that at least part of your sadness comes from your history of abuse. Childhood trauma effects the brain in lots of different ways and can lead to the symptoms you're having. Sadness, loneliness, and a drive to self-mutilate are signs of a problem.

Good luck.

[maybeidonotknow]

to my knowledge depression is an emotion.an emotion is a result of biochemistry.a biochemical imbalance is a physical phenomenon that contributes to depression.if it is not influenced by physical quality,i would suspect that mental thoughts of unpleasantness may envoke a state of negative emotion.i would suggest consulting a doctor for medication if you suspect a trigger outside of your control.as for thoughts making things uncomfortable,please know in your heart that there is love that exists in this world.the opposite of evil/fear may be made aware if you look for it.love attracts love but negative perpetuates negative.i love my fellow man so that includes you.i am messed up too but in a different way.hope you feel better.