okay, so lately ive been feeling like crap.
ive been having constant mood swings, sometimes im happy, and sometimes i dont want to be living anymore.
everything i have been doing lately i have had a guilt feeling towards it.
sometimes ive wanted to scream but instead i burst out into tears.
Ive found myself crying alot lately, feeling **** about myself
ive often had suicidal thoughts, i know for a fact i would never do it, but i cant help but think.. my friends have not been the best of people to have around, one friend imparticular she always causes me to get angry and i just think and wished she were dead.
i havent been out much lately, only to school and back, i always used to go out but since ive had this feeling ive been overly tierd and feeling sick all the time.
i just dont seem to be myself anymore, i always feel sad.
ive been applying for saturday jobs, one day i have it all planned out and im really excited, the next day when i rang up i was still happy, i got offered a place to work so i told them id call back asap, but as soon as i put the phone down i felt useless for some reason, i felt pathetic and i called back and declined the job. i really want to be my old self again but i feel asif i cant do it where i live now, i want to get away but i cant, my options came through, and i know if i move anywhere else i wouldnt get a chance half as good as this
i told my mum yesturday and asked if it was depression, she said it was all in my mind i have a perfect life and nothing could be wrong, but i know for a fact it isnt in my mind.
do i have depression or any signs? if so should i seek help?