Lonely college student

[submarinewings__]

Hello. I'm a college freshman and I've always been a loner. I only had one steady friend in high school and I always thought that she was a bit overbearing and pushy, but she was the only person who I had. I have difficulty expressing my thoughts and feelings verbally. I just can't get it out and I worry about what other people will think of me. I've always been shy and I hate it. I would never want to admit that I was depressed or feeling extremely homesick, even though my mother only lives an hour away from my university and I know that other people feel the same way.

The start of school was somewhat promising, as I managed to meet another girl who was going through a similar situation. However, now she changed to commuting because of a roommate situation and I'm worried that I won't see her as often. I don't like my roommate, either, but she couldn't stick it out long enough for us to make a room change and live together. I feel like I'm going to be lonely again. I'm always worried about the bad things that could happen, to the point where it's hard to appreciate the good things. I don't want this to be like high school. I was constantly depressed in high school and I hated myself. I hated the fact that I was quiet, had trouble expressing myself and the fact that I never bothered trying my hardest. I cried constantly and at times I was seriously considering killing myself.

I want to join a club but I'm nervous about going alone. I'm trying to be brave, but it's difficult and college classes are overwhelming. To top it off, I think I'm a lesbian but that seems to be the least of my worries at the moment. I suppose that's everything. Does anyone have any advice or just want to talk? I'm open to either.

[j17c27]

Im in college too. Im a freshman.  I have a couple kinda friends...but not like back in my hometown where I grew up.
JOIN CLUBS! Everyone is in the same boat as you...everyone is looking to meet people and make friends.  I have joined several clubs by myself...its how you meet people with similar interests!
This is a new start...you can start out fresh in an environment where you have tons of opportunities waiting for you.  Take it all in! College is a time where we start to be independent.  Its ok to go to a club alone, you will meet people.  Or even go to the library, or sit on a bench outside and read or something...people may come to you! Just be open-minded and you will be fine!

One thing I suggest is see if there is a club dedicated to anxiety or mental health.  On my campus we have one called "Active Minds" which is dedicated to spreading awareness on mental health issues and helping people around campus and around the community.  Its great because I can meet people in similar situations of me (I have anxiety/depression).  So we can help eachother along with become friends and stuff.  Its a great program.  If you dont have anything like it...maybe start a club like it! Im sure a lot of people would join.

Good luck!

[mammo]

The first year of college and being away from home can be a scary time, but this is your opportunity to really shine!  Most people join clubs alone and most do it to meet others like themselves.  What you are expressing is very common, almost everyone deals with feeling inadequate at times.  But you have to realize that you are special and people will like you for who and what you are!  The 5 most successful people in this country all have one common trait....they have never cared what others thought!  Just say what's on your mind, and go from there.  I know this isn't always easy but just take baby steps.  Find a club that interests you and join, you'll be surprised at how people will become your friend.
Every little thing you do will make the next thing easier.  Nobody knows how shy you were in highschool so they know no different.  Take advantage of this and put yourself out there so people can get to know you.  A great way to start conversing with someone else is to ask questions about them ie;...where are you from...what's your major...why did you choose this college and just go with the flow.  People love to talk about themselves!  Don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed with all of this...prioritize your life.  You may be lesbian....so what?  That's who you are and people will accept this. You may want to talk to a specialist about social anxiety and how to not be so shy.  You have a lot to offer and never doubt this!  Don't be so hard on yourself for being shy, take it one step at a time to overcome this.  Look people in the eye, smile and say hi.  This alone will show others that you are "open" for conversation and are approachable.  You have a lot of living to do...don't allow this to cause you to miss a moment of it!  If you can't do this on your own, talk to a counselor about getting help...we all need help at some point!  We're always here for you, to talk, share or for you to just vent. You can do this and I wish you all the best.

[RainLover71]

ok,Stop right there ,your not going to do anything silly because your unique and an individual who is very significant and you have plenty of living to do and alot to offer this world.Life is the greatest gift of all and it means everything.You just need some good friends to talk to and it starts here right now.You may think your alone however it wouldn,t take long to find friends that you would have things in common with,there out there.Shyness can be overcome,you just have to come out of your shell,you can do it.Pm me if you ever need to talk or your feeling down and always know that your not alone.There are lots of good people here on medhelp who will always listen.