How come some teens go through an awkward stage while others don't?

[Scarface94]

Hi everyone. I am 17 years old , and I am a boy. I have been in this awkward phase of mine for about 2 years.. I remember when it all started.I was a surprisingly good looking, 14 year old kid . I had really nice hair and every girl loved it, I got complimented on it everyday. I was in my science class in the 9th grade when I was 15, and began to notice that my My hair got curly and Dry as hell, not even conditioner helps it. Then I started getting acne shortly.
Now I'm a 17 year old , 5 foot 10 inches , 125 pound Awkward *** looking kid.

WHAT HAPPENED!?
Its to the point where I can't stand being a teenager. I just want to be out this awkward phase for good! I hate it , I hate it. Then I see these other boys. They look like teen models , and here I am , being eaten alive by the horrors of puberty. Why me ? I was such a cute kid everyone tells me . How come there are kids that don't have to worry about pimples , or awkwardness , meanwhile I have to worry about how I look when I hug someone , or how I speak , or what I look like when I smile.

My confidence is the thinnest thread in the world right now. My mom tells me that my acne isn't that bad. Sure , its not horrible , but when you put my face underneath it , its twice as bad! And I hate comparing pictures of me now , to pictures from 2 years ago . You would never know that it was the same person.

I barely speak to anyone at family parties because my aunts , uncles , and cousins have seen me when I was better looking.

I am self consious of every little thing I do.
I go to hug someone " you probably looked awkward"
I'm talking " make sure you don't spit while you talk! "
I laugh " try not to let your teeth show"
Some gives me a weird look " they probably think I am the most hideous human alive"

I HATE IT! It never used to be this way. I was fine . Emotionally , physically , personality wise everything was perfect. Now , its as if I am living a second life.

[Scarface94]

@akitagurl12- Thanks! People tell me I'm smart but I don't get why.

@nursegirl6572- Another thing I forgot to mention is that I've become more socially awkward since that age. I was always shy when I was little but if I had to I could talk to somebody, but now I feel like I can't relate to other people and I want to talk, I just can't come up with a topic. I also got bloated and went from pooping every day, to pooping once every 2-3 days. My breath gets stinky even though I brush my teeth 2 times a day, and spend like 5 mins brushing. I can live with acne and physical problems, but I'm more concerned with the emotional and mental part of all this. ALL of this stuff happened at the same time. It's weird because I remember not having any of these problems one day, and then the next day I noticed my hair was starting to curl and pimples were showing up, along with the other problems I mentioned. It's like something was triggered in my body

[nursegirl6572]

Aw hon, I feel for you.  Everyone goes through puberty differently.  Some seem to breeze through it, without one pimple, looking perfectly.  Thing is, even THOSE people have struggles you wouldn't even know about.  Everyone has issues to some extent, and everyone handles them differently.  I think, for you, you're taking it extra hard because you had such confidence a few years ago, with people complimenting you, etc.  

I'm willing to bet my entire bank account that your appearance isn't as "bad" as you perceive it to be.  You're very self conscious, and every little flaw becomes a really big deal to you.  That's also normal at your age.  Teens are FULL of drama.  Everything is the end of the world. It may not be that reassuring to hear right now, but this WILL pass, and you will one day look back, like all of us do and say to youself, "My GOD, why the hell were those things such a big deal to me?"  You are growing into a young man, with all kinds of hormonal surges, confusion, and lots of issues you are facing.  As you grow and mature, different things will become important to you, and you won't react as severely to factors that you face in your life.

In the meantime, there ARE things you can do to help these situations.  Understand that NOTHING is a total fix.  You still will have to deal with some imperfections, and issues with your appearance.  You also have to learn how to not place such emphasis on looks.  That will come with time.

For one, you can ask your parent(s) to take you to a dermatologist for the acne.  There are lots of treatments out there that will help reduce the severity of your break outs.  It won't completely cure it, but can drastically improve it!  I had HORRID acne as a teen, it was just awful, so I know how you feel there.  It was terrible.  A dermatologist made a big difference though.

Also, you can start going to a gym, start doing some weight training.  That will help you to bulk up a bit.  You probably still have to "fill out" to an extent, so again, working out will definitely help, but not totally change your God given physique.  

While you work on your appearance, try to remember that while improving the things that make you self conscious, looks are not all that is important.  People will like you for YOU, because you're fun to hang out with, make people laugh, etc.  You're probably so busy being self conscious that I bet you haven't REALLY taken the time to notice that probably some of the most popular kids have their own problems...acne, braces, weight problems, etc.  Plenty of the popular kids in my high school weren't by FAR the best looking kids.  They were popular for a whole host of other reasons.  

If you really continue to feel down and discouraged, and depressed, ask your Mom and/or Dad to get you some professional help.  There's no shame in that, and no one ever has to know.  Some therapy may help you to build your self esteem, and help you learn how to deal with all the the turmoil you're feeling.

Please keep in touch, we really do care, and remember, we were ALL teenagers once, so we really DO know what it is like.  NO ONE breezes through it without SOME issue.  It's a time full of rapid change and growth, both physically and emotionally, which is hard to handle for everyone.  Hang in there hon!  

[akitagurl12]

yes, everything did get much better & i personally believe it has alot to do with hormones.  Our own hormones & as well as hundreds of other teenagers hormones in one building for 6-7 hours a day!  There's gotta be something you can do though, so you can get some enjoyment now....  I will say you are really smart and insightful for your age.  I was a hot mess in high school. lol  

[Scarface94]

@swabes- I appreciate your help, I just wanted to hear other peoples opinions too.

@akitagurl12- Idk, right now I feel like this going to last forever. I never had these insecurities before age 15. I try to tell myself positive things and try not to care what other people think, but it just never works. Believe me I try to have a positive attitude. It ***** because this started the beginning of my freshmen year in high school, and I'm going on to my senior year and I've been going through this all of high school. I haven't enjoyed it at all because of this. It didn't help that I had my first heart break my sophomore year to make it worse. I'm over that now though thank god. Is this caused by a hormone imbalance? and did everything get better for you when you stopped puberty?

[akitagurl12]

i remember thinking the same thing when i was your age.  The only thing I can say for sure is that it won't last forever.  I know it doesn't feel like it, but i promise you things will get alot easier with age.  I sometimes wish i could take my 33 year old mind and go back in time to high school because i wouldn't have been so hard on myself and i would have enjoyed it more.  You are at a really hard stage, and i think it is hard for pretty much everyone, just some can deal/hide it better. Also, when you think everyone is noticing your so-called flaws, most aren't.  They are too caught up in going through their own insecurities. One thing you can do is try not to focus on your physical appearance so much to the point where you find yourself putting yourself down.  I am sure you still look good.  Helping other people always makes me feel better about myself, so maybe try volunteering or something else.  Another thing you can do is whenever you catch yourself putting youself down, stop and replace it with something positive.  It might feel weird at first, but with practice it gets more natural. Hang in there!

[RainLover71]

I don't think that the OP wasn't happy with your advice,they were,it's a double post.Sometimes a person posts the same question twice accidently.

[swabes]

Hello again. I'm surprised to see you have posted this again. I made sure to answer all your questions as honestly, detailed and understandingly as I could. Was nothing I said of any help to you? There is no overnight or magic cure for puberty unfortunately, it is something you wil just have to tough out. Sorry if I couldnt be of any help or reassurance, I hope you find better help on this community which is filled with very caring people who are sure to help you out, but I honestly do not know what to say to you now.

All the best.