am i depressed or is it all in my head?

[Matt_Corky]

im an 18 yo man never had a girlfriend in any shape or form, never kissed a girl and i have really low self esteem every girl i tried to meet has led to rejection, as you can imagine i get skitted at college for never being with a girl. every day is the same, i spend all day inside my room, no one particularly likes me so i dont have any real friends that i can socialise with over the past few months i have lost all regard for my own safety, nothing phases me any more traffic, pain or whatever potentially dangerous environments i encounter.

i have turned to a variety of coping methods that have in the past included alcohol, smoking and cutting. i dont know what to do any more and i am looking for one last glimmer of hope before i give up completely. every night i wish that i wont wake up in the morning every night i hope that death will embrace me, and every morning i resent the fact that it hasnt.

My self esteem is at rock bottom, i lose all my nerve talking to anyone, im afraid to leave the house because i think i look disgusting, i feel like a horrible person, in both looks and in character. i try to go out i want to go and make friends but i cant talk to new people, for fear that they wont like me or worse yet that they will hate me, i just want to be like everybody else and not be alone any more.

[amberb777]

Go see a doctor, therapist..etc..tell them exactly how you've been feeling..You may need meds and therapy or maybe even just therapy..atleast try it for awhile..you might like it and probably feel better too.. Good luck.

[mammo]

You need to talk to a professional and get into therapy, which will help with your low self esteem.  I think you have convinced yourself that you are worthless, and this is not true at all!  Don't put so much emphasis on not having had a date, you're still very young, work on getting yourself better for now.  See a psychiatrist and go from there.  Stop the self-medicating, it is leading you down a dark and dangerous road.  There are medications to help you with all this as you go thru therapy.  Depression can happen to anyone at anytime, and often has an underlying cause.  It is usually a traumatic event that happened in the past that your either haven't dealt with or have forgotten, and is now rearing it's ugly head as depression.  With therapy you can find out what this is, deal with it and move on.  We hear from a lot of teens, so know you're not alone and there are others around you who are suffering as well.  Therapy will help with your self-esteem, but you've got to change your attitude.  You are unique, we all are and nobody has a reason not to like you.  You need to put yourself out there and start socializing while being yourself.  I understand the importance of "fitting in" at this age, but you have to be out there to fit in.  Just do things you enjoy, have the attitude that you will not stop living because of what others think, the more they see you don't care, the better it will be.  Each step you take will make the next easier.....I promise.  The five most successful people in America all have one common trait....they have never cared what others thought!  You have a purpose in life, and you were put here to be happy and enjoy life, not to worry what others think.  Start doing things you enjoy, don't let this self-doubt be an anchor that holds you back from enjoying life.  Once you start doing what YOU want and enjoy you can't help but meet others.  Just be yourself, that's all you need. So long as you are having a good time, everything, and everyone will fall into place.  Make your appt. and get started at getting your life back today.  Take care.

[M4Y0U]

Sounds like you are depressed but doesn't sounds like a biological depression.

You need to work on your self-esteem. Easier said than done you say. True that it is not an easy task but there are a lot of people in your situation you could use social help. Try various group therapy, its a good way to meet people too.

The help of a psychologist might be handy as it can show you various other way of seeing life and work on your self-esteem.

Don't wish you would just die. For every problem there's a solution. If I say to you that in less than in 15 years we will spend most our time in virtual reality and we will start becoming more transhumans what do you say? Physical appearance won't be a problem in the future. I suggest you read The Singularity is Near by Ray Kurzweil (wiki him, this is serious) and check out what is the Technological Singularity on YouTube etc. This is an optimist view of the future and it might help you not wish you were dead but wish you can get to this close future as your quality of life will be gradually improved.

If you need anything else you can PM me.

M4