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What to do about depression
I have suffered depression my entire life. I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and inferior, and living a half life, if that. Everyone says, see a professional. Ok fine. How does one care for oneself if one has no money? I am scraping by, barely able to eat. If I can't afford to eat, how am I going to afford mental health therapy or medications? I will not qualify for any state help, I make too much money, and have insurance. But, most of my money is taken by child support, so I have just enough to barely, barely scrape by. So what hope is there? I want to get help, but I literally can't get it. I cannot afford a co-pay, or the cost of anti-depressant medication, so the insurance does not help me. Man, I am getting more depressed just writing this. What hope is there? I mean, it seems to me that I am going to be foced to live with this the rest of my life, and if that is the case, then I'd just as soon die as soon as possible. If there is no hope for any change, or improvement, then it would be illogical to keep trying. What do I do????? I'm stuck in a rut, and I can't get out on my own. But I can't get any help from anyone. Any ideas, anyone?
Hi, I am Effexor 150mg per day. It has got rid of my depression, anxiety and panics. Sometimes I get a low for a time, but keep taking my anti-depressants, and always "come up" again. I live with depression, but I cope well most of the time. If I get stressed, then I may feel low for a while.
I also took generic Effexor for a while. Like Sara says though, an anti-depressant that works for one oerson, does not necessarily work on another. Over the 20 years I have had depression I have been on many different anti-depressants. Some worked, some didn't. It is a matter of finding the right one for you. Once you do, then there is no looking back. Life can be lived to the full once more.
I did gop off Effexor cold turkey once, but my depression did come back after a year. But for that year I was very well. I have had to go back on it again, and must take anti-depressants for the rest of my life. I am 72 so that's not so bad for me. You younger people may well react differently.
I do hope our messages have given you some hope.
I also took generic Effexor for a while. Like Sara says though, an anti-depressant that works for one oerson, does not necessarily work on another. Over the 20 years I have had depression I have been on many different anti-depressants. Some worked, some didn't. It is a matter of finding the right one for you. Once you do, then there is no looking back. Life can be lived to the full once more.
I did gop off Effexor cold turkey once, but my depression did come back after a year. But for that year I was very well. I have had to go back on it again, and must take anti-depressants for the rest of my life. I am 72 so that's not so bad for me. You younger people may well react differently.
I do hope our messages have given you some hope.
You really shouldn't go by what worked for me, because everyone is different. But for your information, Effexor worked for me. It is a SNRI, a medication that works on both the seratonin and the norepinephrine. And now I am on a very similar, updated version of Effexor if you will, called Pristiq. But Effexor is now available in the generic. And if you have insurance, it is available for about $4.00! Just go to the website for Effexor and you will see the info.
(And absolutely don't go by the complainers about how hard it is to go off of a SNRI med, because all of them go off of it way too fast by their own comments. It must be tapered off very slowly. And some people don't even need to go off of it slowly.)
And again, I know that there will be a solution for you. It's just very hard in the meantime. I really do wish you the very best.
(And absolutely don't go by the complainers about how hard it is to go off of a SNRI med, because all of them go off of it way too fast by their own comments. It must be tapered off very slowly. And some people don't even need to go off of it slowly.)
And again, I know that there will be a solution for you. It's just very hard in the meantime. I really do wish you the very best.
Thank you, but you were the one who was the most inspiring, talking man to man. Such great things that YOU had to say.
Wow, sara, what an incredible story. You are one heck of a fighter! I'm glad you managed to keep trying, even on days I'm sure you felt like you had no fight left. And, I'm glad you found your way here. :0)
You're so right. Fighting to relieve my depression was "the fight of my life and for my life" as you put it. It took 20 years of trying everything while I was truly suicidal for years with deadline after deadline to commit suicide. And depression does have the "side effect" of making you feel hopeless in general which accounts for your feeling that any effort "would be to no avail anyways" as you put it.
I finally found that light therapy cured my depression and sleep disorder. What a miracle after 20 years of intense depression. Then when my system changed, the light didn't help me any more. But there were a lot of the newer anti-depressants available which had not been available before. After trying several meds, I finally found one that was a true miracle. Then I had a major stroke with severe 24/7 migraines which drove me near suicide. With only increasing the anti-depressant, it completely cured my depression once again. A total miracle. I'm now 60 years old.
So yes, miracles are possible. And you can find your miracle. But plan on it probably taking a lot out of you. In the meantime, feel incredibly proud of yourself for doing the work to find your miracle. You deserve a great deal for your fight.
I finally found that light therapy cured my depression and sleep disorder. What a miracle after 20 years of intense depression. Then when my system changed, the light didn't help me any more. But there were a lot of the newer anti-depressants available which had not been available before. After trying several meds, I finally found one that was a true miracle. Then I had a major stroke with severe 24/7 migraines which drove me near suicide. With only increasing the anti-depressant, it completely cured my depression once again. A total miracle. I'm now 60 years old.
So yes, miracles are possible. And you can find your miracle. But plan on it probably taking a lot out of you. In the meantime, feel incredibly proud of yourself for doing the work to find your miracle. You deserve a great deal for your fight.
One of the very first things I was told in therapy was that we "needed to break down the typical male stereo-type and get to the problem.". I was a typical guy. Big, strong, and nothing like this was going to drag me down.... "I'm not even sure why I am here... I don't know if I believe in any of this." were the first things out of my mouth. (I was doing anything I could to not have to bear my soul and bring up things that happened 35 years ago...) Part of me actually wanted to stay depressed. Depressed became my normal, and as miserable, lonely, dark as it was.... it felt comfortable on a level.
Looking at my wife and kids, I knew that I was going to do something about the depression. I got tired of the depression and I knew damned well that they were over it too. They stood by me, even at my worst and I think that is were I found the strength to get this handled.
As soon as I got out of my own way and began to tell the story, it became easier to talk about.....
Will this take a miracle to get you to see things differently? Honestly, I don't think so... you're a bright guy. You've recognized a problem and have decided to step up and handle this. Will it be hard? Yes sir, and you know that. That's a big chunk of the battle.
Keep your mind open mjark.... you'll never know when a little gem of wisdom will drop into your lap. It's those little gems that you need to grab hold of and use them to your advantage. One of the coolest things I've heard about dealing with depression is "whatever works".
I read and studied my butt off. I learned all I could about my diagnosis almost to the point where I was obsessing on reading more... My therapist had me quit reading for a couple of weeks. Instead of a book every 2 days, I got cut down to reading a book a week.... all of it helped. I got thousands of perspectives and each made a bit of a difference.
You can do this.
Looking at my wife and kids, I knew that I was going to do something about the depression. I got tired of the depression and I knew damned well that they were over it too. They stood by me, even at my worst and I think that is were I found the strength to get this handled.
As soon as I got out of my own way and began to tell the story, it became easier to talk about.....
Will this take a miracle to get you to see things differently? Honestly, I don't think so... you're a bright guy. You've recognized a problem and have decided to step up and handle this. Will it be hard? Yes sir, and you know that. That's a big chunk of the battle.
Keep your mind open mjark.... you'll never know when a little gem of wisdom will drop into your lap. It's those little gems that you need to grab hold of and use them to your advantage. One of the coolest things I've heard about dealing with depression is "whatever works".
I read and studied my butt off. I learned all I could about my diagnosis almost to the point where I was obsessing on reading more... My therapist had me quit reading for a couple of weeks. Instead of a book every 2 days, I got cut down to reading a book a week.... all of it helped. I got thousands of perspectives and each made a bit of a difference.
You can do this.
Yes, that IS true. At this point, it's pretty much do or die...literally. I really and truly do not want to live for even a few more years if this is the extent of my life. Yes, you are absolutely correct Brice, there is no worse case. To think that my problem is any worse than another's is just self-centered. These words are actually seeping into my brain. Bottom line is that this 'disease' or problem or whatever one chooses to call it does indeed ruin lives. I can attest to this, and I am hearing others say the same kinds of things. This is ammunition in the fight. Thank you for the reminder that this is the fight of my life and for my life and that it does take work and effort. I admit I have not put in the effort, as I have just assumed it would be to no avail anyways. But, perhaps that assumption is wrong. It will take almost a miracle to get me to see things differently, but I suppose I can at least try.
Thank you so much. You're very kind. And I am with you! Whatever works, and don't quit trying to find whatever it is that works.
I consider myself pretty lucky. I think it took the "prefect storm" to get me to the point where I knew I had to do something, and I think it took the right soup of things all happening at once to get me the help I needed. It was not easy going, but once the going got started, it got momentum and kept growing.
I think mjarkremington is at that point too. You can feel the desparity, yet feel the steadfastness necessary to get after this.
I consider myself pretty lucky. I think it took the "prefect storm" to get me to the point where I knew I had to do something, and I think it took the right soup of things all happening at once to get me the help I needed. It was not easy going, but once the going got started, it got momentum and kept growing.
I think mjarkremington is at that point too. You can feel the desparity, yet feel the steadfastness necessary to get after this.
As always, your words are so inspiring. You have such an amazing way with words.
I could add that I don't care what a person does to try to get better, as long as they do something (something healthy and productive, that is). If standing on your head, with bananas in your ears is a treatment that works for you, have it it! We'll all stand side by side, with nanas in our ears, if that's what it takes!
I could add that I don't care what a person does to try to get better, as long as they do something (something healthy and productive, that is). If standing on your head, with bananas in your ears is a treatment that works for you, have it it! We'll all stand side by side, with nanas in our ears, if that's what it takes!
I don't know why I am compelled to write this little bit. Maybe it was something written above. Any matter.... in regards to depression. You mentioned something along the lines of "worse" case than yours.
I've come to learn that there really is NO worse case. Every case is altering lives. Every case is holding someone back, or holding numerous people back.
Speaking of my case personally, I spent years saying it was no big deal. Fact of the matter was, it was ruining my life and the lives of my children and my wife.... That is kind of a big deal. With that said, what was bothering me may have been a cake walk for someone else.... The amount of abuse or the kind of abuse I went through might look like nothing compared to other cases you'll hear, but... but... my case/depression was mine.
Yours is the same way. On paper, it may look worse or lesser than other cases, but what's the use of judging that? This depression is altering your life and that is the problem.
Nursegirl says it best. You have to keep fighting the good fight.
I've come to learn that there really is NO worse case. Every case is altering lives. Every case is holding someone back, or holding numerous people back.
Speaking of my case personally, I spent years saying it was no big deal. Fact of the matter was, it was ruining my life and the lives of my children and my wife.... That is kind of a big deal. With that said, what was bothering me may have been a cake walk for someone else.... The amount of abuse or the kind of abuse I went through might look like nothing compared to other cases you'll hear, but... but... my case/depression was mine.
Yours is the same way. On paper, it may look worse or lesser than other cases, but what's the use of judging that? This depression is altering your life and that is the problem.
Nursegirl says it best. You have to keep fighting the good fight.
"I mean, if all y'all have suffered as much or even more than I, and yet are alive today and reaching out to others, then I guess I should listen to what those who have already walked the path have to say."
Beautifully said! Depression is a life long struggle for some people. But it CAN be managed. With the help of therapy and meds, you can change that mindset that you're worthless, unlikeable, etc.
As far as meds go, I'll give you the same advice I give everyone. Certainly educate yourself, and even read about others' experiences, but don't let others' experiences weigh too heavily on your decision to try something, or affect your opinion about a medication. We ALL react very differently to medications. One person's miracle drug may be the next person's nightmare. You HAVE to allow yourself to have your OWN experience. The wrost possible thing a person can do is develop a bunch of preconceived notions about a med before trying it. That alone will set a person up to fail.
Effexor has gotten a bad reputation, based on the facts that it CAN be a little more difficult to tolerate for some, and if not properly tapered, can be hard to come off. I don't discount thatat all.
However, there are plenty of people out there who Effexor has helped tremendously, and who have discontinued it without any major issues. You have to remember too, that people with positive experiences are far less likely to "spread the word" like the people who have had bad experiences.
Just some food for thought. I wish you the very best...we're here for you whenever you need to vent, ask questions, whatever. Keep fighting the good fight. Chances are, eventually it will pay off. You have to work at it, too. It DOES take hard work to push ourselves when we would rather just crawl into a hole. That's very hard.
Big hugs to you!
Beautifully said! Depression is a life long struggle for some people. But it CAN be managed. With the help of therapy and meds, you can change that mindset that you're worthless, unlikeable, etc.
As far as meds go, I'll give you the same advice I give everyone. Certainly educate yourself, and even read about others' experiences, but don't let others' experiences weigh too heavily on your decision to try something, or affect your opinion about a medication. We ALL react very differently to medications. One person's miracle drug may be the next person's nightmare. You HAVE to allow yourself to have your OWN experience. The wrost possible thing a person can do is develop a bunch of preconceived notions about a med before trying it. That alone will set a person up to fail.
Effexor has gotten a bad reputation, based on the facts that it CAN be a little more difficult to tolerate for some, and if not properly tapered, can be hard to come off. I don't discount thatat all.
However, there are plenty of people out there who Effexor has helped tremendously, and who have discontinued it without any major issues. You have to remember too, that people with positive experiences are far less likely to "spread the word" like the people who have had bad experiences.
Just some food for thought. I wish you the very best...we're here for you whenever you need to vent, ask questions, whatever. Keep fighting the good fight. Chances are, eventually it will pay off. You have to work at it, too. It DOES take hard work to push ourselves when we would rather just crawl into a hole. That's very hard.
Big hugs to you!
This was most helpful and inspiring. Thank you for taking your time to write to me, that is very kind. I will take your advice and check out the site you mentioned, the one about the meds. I have seen the other site you referred to as well. I have to say in response to all the outpouring of good will that I am really touched, and re-motivated. I mean, if all y'all have suffered as much or even more than I, and yet are alive today and reaching out to others, then I guess I should listen to what those who have already walked the path have to say. I'm still unsure and unconfident that anything can be done, but it is hard to argue with folks who have gone through the same thing I am going through. I'm going to see about getting on different meds, and if there is anything else I can do without (like my phone) so I can afford to get back into therapy. And even though my inside voice is still telling me I'm worthless, unlikeable, definately unlovable, and that I would save myself a bunch of heartache by just giving up, despite these things, I am going to listen to y'all and see what happens.
You don't sound broken, but I do understand. Feel free to unload if you feel like it. You deserve our ears as well.
All the best to you,
Sara
All the best to you,
Sara
You are kind. I wasn't a therapist. Wouldn't trust myself to do that. I still have so many of my own issues to work out. I have just lived a kind of bizarre life. If I wrote a book about the all the different circumstances I've been in-I wouldn't believe it my self. I think God has used it, because it has given me a deep compassion and desire to help the, oh so many, people who suffer in this world. At the same time, I feel so broken myself.
Yes, very great comments that you made above. You must have been a very good therapist.
Sara
Sara
Who could not be encouraged by your kind messages. You are so understanding of others. I presume it was your work as a social worker that made you like this. Every word you say about this site is true. What real friends the people are. So inspirational. I do hope people take note.
I have struggled with 'suicide' as an option most of my life. It is a B****
You've taken a great step by deciding to come to this place for support. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And even though it may sound phony or corny, you are NOT UNLOVED either! People like us share a kind of kinship I believe. We are ALL connected! What you do and visa versa affects both/all of us at a spiritual/soul level.
So feel free to dump it all here. We are here to listen and encourage you. Just talking will help release some of that pain we all want to escape.
Last time I felt like you do, I found a website: www.metonia.com There is a great 5-minute read called 'Suicide-read this first.' Even some jokes I had to laugh at in spite of my despair.
Please- if you start seriously thinking of this again-reach out and call 911, a suicide hotline, someone, or log on here. Feelings WiLL come and go. Suicide won't.
The best advice I heard is-wait 3 days. If you still feel like doing it in 3 days, you can always commit suicide later. So-you are still in control. But what is 3 days!? I've discovered by then the urge will most likely pass. That is a kind of promise I've made to myself.
That and I will always call my therapist first-I owe her that much. I might not tell her I'm thinking of suicide because she'd call the police. But I'd at least tell her IF I decide to, it's not your fault. She did not 'fail' me.
And to avoid alcohol completely when I am depressed. I KNOW it clouds my judgement to the degree that I would follow through and not live another day to regret it! I'm sure alcohol played a part in at least 1/2 of my relatives deaths.
I take people seriously when they say they are 'checking out.' My grown daughter believes it's just 'drama' to 'get attention.' That kind of attitude makes me want to do it just to prove her wrong. But it would delight my son-in-law, so I won't-to spite him. Ha, ha. 'As The World Turns' right?
I realize some people with personality disorders do that, but they still have real pain. When I'm in that place, I just want to stop the pain. If I look deeper I am also rather ambivalent. On one hand I want to end it all. On the other I'm hoping someone will give me a legitimate reason NOT to do it-one I can 'buy into' myself.
I read you have children. One thing my psychiatrist said to me when I was suicidal is: don't EVER do that to your children. If you go through with that, your children will be 50% more likely to choose that road themselves. THAT will be the true legacy you will leave your children!" In that regard I can't kid myself that they would be better off without me.
I know for a fact that is part of my own struggle. I had so many family members and friends commit suicide, that I grew up-kind of matter of factly- believing 'well, suicide is always a way out-a reasonable, rational option.'
So when my dad was slowly and painfully dying I asked him if he considered it. He'd had a step son, brother and sister-in-law commit suicide. He'd been witness to the suicides of my mother's step-father, brother, aunt, and multiple attempts by my grandmother. He said 'that would be the coward's way out.' I think of that and I think he was a true hero.
Even though this is just a 'virtual' world with 'virtual' strangers--we are real in our genuine concern and desire to help. Because we have been there, done that!
Also, many of us have withdrawn from, pushed away, had to break off unhealthy relationships or been abandoned by most of our family and friends. Many just don't understand and some just don't choose to. Maybe they'll 'catch' what I've got! I'm down to about 2-3, so that's why I came here. I knew I had to 'hook up to some form of life support."
And in a group of like-minded 'believers' who aren't going to ostracize, blame & shame you or tell you to 'pull yourself up by your boot straps.'
Take it one day at a time-one minute at a time if you need to.
I used to work as a social worker and one thing I did was direct people in financial situations like yourself-to resources in the community, with the drug companies, and so forth. If you want to, type my username (nativeco) in the search bar up at the top right of page. It will pull up my other posts. You might have to search several-but I think some of the things you might look for are on the thread: 'anti depressants and memory loss.' One source I didn't mention was free medication (tell them your child support thing) from manufactures at pparx.org You fill out one form with your meds (once you get the scripts for meds you might need) and they mail you this lovely booklet designed just for you. With your meds, the manufactures who make those meds, and how to contact them with what they require.
Also, I don't know the cost or how good it is, but the metonia.com site has links to on-line therapy. Apparently many are doing that these days.
Finding doctors is mentioned in the post I mentioned above.
Thank you mjarkremington for allowing us to share. The Course in Miracles says that WE Learn through teaching others. As we are able to share our stories with those willing to listen, we are also learning from hearing our own stories. I guess! Please keep in touch.
You've taken a great step by deciding to come to this place for support. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And even though it may sound phony or corny, you are NOT UNLOVED either! People like us share a kind of kinship I believe. We are ALL connected! What you do and visa versa affects both/all of us at a spiritual/soul level.
So feel free to dump it all here. We are here to listen and encourage you. Just talking will help release some of that pain we all want to escape.
Last time I felt like you do, I found a website: www.metonia.com There is a great 5-minute read called 'Suicide-read this first.' Even some jokes I had to laugh at in spite of my despair.
Please- if you start seriously thinking of this again-reach out and call 911, a suicide hotline, someone, or log on here. Feelings WiLL come and go. Suicide won't.
The best advice I heard is-wait 3 days. If you still feel like doing it in 3 days, you can always commit suicide later. So-you are still in control. But what is 3 days!? I've discovered by then the urge will most likely pass. That is a kind of promise I've made to myself.
That and I will always call my therapist first-I owe her that much. I might not tell her I'm thinking of suicide because she'd call the police. But I'd at least tell her IF I decide to, it's not your fault. She did not 'fail' me.
And to avoid alcohol completely when I am depressed. I KNOW it clouds my judgement to the degree that I would follow through and not live another day to regret it! I'm sure alcohol played a part in at least 1/2 of my relatives deaths.
I take people seriously when they say they are 'checking out.' My grown daughter believes it's just 'drama' to 'get attention.' That kind of attitude makes me want to do it just to prove her wrong. But it would delight my son-in-law, so I won't-to spite him. Ha, ha. 'As The World Turns' right?
I realize some people with personality disorders do that, but they still have real pain. When I'm in that place, I just want to stop the pain. If I look deeper I am also rather ambivalent. On one hand I want to end it all. On the other I'm hoping someone will give me a legitimate reason NOT to do it-one I can 'buy into' myself.
I read you have children. One thing my psychiatrist said to me when I was suicidal is: don't EVER do that to your children. If you go through with that, your children will be 50% more likely to choose that road themselves. THAT will be the true legacy you will leave your children!" In that regard I can't kid myself that they would be better off without me.
I know for a fact that is part of my own struggle. I had so many family members and friends commit suicide, that I grew up-kind of matter of factly- believing 'well, suicide is always a way out-a reasonable, rational option.'
So when my dad was slowly and painfully dying I asked him if he considered it. He'd had a step son, brother and sister-in-law commit suicide. He'd been witness to the suicides of my mother's step-father, brother, aunt, and multiple attempts by my grandmother. He said 'that would be the coward's way out.' I think of that and I think he was a true hero.
Even though this is just a 'virtual' world with 'virtual' strangers--we are real in our genuine concern and desire to help. Because we have been there, done that!
Also, many of us have withdrawn from, pushed away, had to break off unhealthy relationships or been abandoned by most of our family and friends. Many just don't understand and some just don't choose to. Maybe they'll 'catch' what I've got! I'm down to about 2-3, so that's why I came here. I knew I had to 'hook up to some form of life support."
And in a group of like-minded 'believers' who aren't going to ostracize, blame & shame you or tell you to 'pull yourself up by your boot straps.'
Take it one day at a time-one minute at a time if you need to.
I used to work as a social worker and one thing I did was direct people in financial situations like yourself-to resources in the community, with the drug companies, and so forth. If you want to, type my username (nativeco) in the search bar up at the top right of page. It will pull up my other posts. You might have to search several-but I think some of the things you might look for are on the thread: 'anti depressants and memory loss.' One source I didn't mention was free medication (tell them your child support thing) from manufactures at pparx.org You fill out one form with your meds (once you get the scripts for meds you might need) and they mail you this lovely booklet designed just for you. With your meds, the manufactures who make those meds, and how to contact them with what they require.
Also, I don't know the cost or how good it is, but the metonia.com site has links to on-line therapy. Apparently many are doing that these days.
Finding doctors is mentioned in the post I mentioned above.
Thank you mjarkremington for allowing us to share. The Course in Miracles says that WE Learn through teaching others. As we are able to share our stories with those willing to listen, we are also learning from hearing our own stories. I guess! Please keep in touch.
I know that you can get better relief from your depression. It is extremely difficult to live in the meantime. I know from the years that I fought with suicidal thoughts, making continuous bargains with myself to just hold on. So please hold on and give more medication a try. Depression tends to convince us that there is no hope and that nothing will work, but it's not true.
Have you tried Effexor, which now comes in a much cheaper generic? It treats both seratonin and norepinephrine (sp?). And it is not difficult to get off if you do it very gradually. That's the only anti-depressant that really worked for me. They say to give it 4 weeks to work, but my mother, my best friend and I all felt a difference within days of just starting the medication. And I know a number of other people who have also been helped by it.
A survey found that anti-depressants are the most frequently used medication by people between the ages of 18 and 44! You are hardly alone. The study also found that among those taking antidepressants, approximately 14 percent take more than one anti-depressant. So it may take a combination of anti-depressants.
Once you get relief from your depression, you will have more energy to do everything and the world will look a lot better for you. I wonder if some of the people on this site that still suffer are getting all the help that they need. Get every bit of help that you can.
Have you tried Effexor, which now comes in a much cheaper generic? It treats both seratonin and norepinephrine (sp?). And it is not difficult to get off if you do it very gradually. That's the only anti-depressant that really worked for me. They say to give it 4 weeks to work, but my mother, my best friend and I all felt a difference within days of just starting the medication. And I know a number of other people who have also been helped by it.
A survey found that anti-depressants are the most frequently used medication by people between the ages of 18 and 44! You are hardly alone. The study also found that among those taking antidepressants, approximately 14 percent take more than one anti-depressant. So it may take a combination of anti-depressants.
Once you get relief from your depression, you will have more energy to do everything and the world will look a lot better for you. I wonder if some of the people on this site that still suffer are getting all the help that they need. Get every bit of help that you can.
Hi, I just wondered how you are getting on? Do you feel a little bit more positive about things now you have been in touch with us? Have we helped? Let us know please, as we like to know how people are.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Hey, look, I have had depression for over 20 years. I am 71 years of age, and I am fighting depression every day of my life. OK it is jolly hard, but we are all fighters.
Of course it can work for you. Depression does make us think negatively and have a low self esteem, that is why it is so hard. Like you, many think it will not work for them. Many people want to give up and just die because it is the easy way out.
It is never, never too late. For goodness sake you are only 43. That is young, believe you me. You have years ahead of you. You will find you can live a good life, even with depression. So, are you going to kill yourself because you can't be bothered to fight?
Of course we care about you, we all care about each other here. The support is wonderful. We urge each other to fight depression. We tell our own stories. Believe us, you can do it too.
Keep in touch. You sound a really nice person. Remember you have lots of friends here. You are not alone any more.
Of course it can work for you. Depression does make us think negatively and have a low self esteem, that is why it is so hard. Like you, many think it will not work for them. Many people want to give up and just die because it is the easy way out.
It is never, never too late. For goodness sake you are only 43. That is young, believe you me. You have years ahead of you. You will find you can live a good life, even with depression. So, are you going to kill yourself because you can't be bothered to fight?
Of course we care about you, we all care about each other here. The support is wonderful. We urge each other to fight depression. We tell our own stories. Believe us, you can do it too.
Keep in touch. You sound a really nice person. Remember you have lots of friends here. You are not alone any more.
Again, thanks be to all of you who responded out of care and love here. I am really touched by the responses here...and I thought no one cared! From the outpouring of good energy from y'all, I am motivated to break out of the rut once again. We'll see. Like a few of the comments have said, and I totally relate to, the sense of just living through it, and in my case, the hope and wish that my life would end as soon as possible. A comment was made that one can just live with it, and that is exactly what I've done. I am fully aware that this means though I am breathing, I am not living, and that is the crux of the issue right there. I have to admit, I don't really fully "believe" y'all. What I mean is that I acknowledge that "it" worked and works for others, but could never for me. I have such a low self esteem and confidence that I honestly believe it is too late for me, and that nothing will relieve this, except of course death. I still think this. But, if y'all can take the time to write and care for me, a complete stranger, then it seems to me the least I can do is to care for myself, at least as much as y'all have shown me. I don't know what to do about the financial side of the problem, to get meds and therapy, but I will at least try, once more. Thank you all!!
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The last thing I needed when I got help was more bills. In fact, I let the though of accruing more bills stand in the way of me getting myself healthy. The depressed me wanted to stay in that rut... anything to find an excuse to not get help was my mantra for decades. And you name the excuses, I was using them. First and foremost was that I couldn't financially afford to get help, especially when I exhausted all of the other excuses for not getting help.
I went as far as to almost lose everything that is dear to me. My family was almost out the door because of my depression, lack of wanting to help myself, and miscellaneous ways of "self medication". When the $hit hit the fan, I knew I had to go on. I knew I wasn't done and I knew I was not the giant $hit bag I was turning myself into.
There is help out there and of course there is a cost. There are hundreds of places across this country that offer help for lesser cost, and some work on a sliding scale. Pay what you can, when you can and you can continue to receive the help you need.
First place to start is your doctor. He or she can give you a referral and they also probably have some information on where a person in your shoes can find some help. (It worked for me in the little community I live in.) That referral from your doctor is key. Secondly, meds don't have to be that expensive. The medicine I take for depression is cheap compared to the one I have to take for my triglycerides... real cheap.
Look, this is your health and help just doesn't come walking up. You have to become an active participant in making yourself get better. It's hard work and nobody likes telling their story, over and over and over again, but it is what is necessary in order to find help.
Everyone here on medhelp was fed some kind of a $hit sandwich. Most have come so far from where they were, but it didn't happen by accident. Some here are 'hanging on" because they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. None of the recovery happens over night. For some, relief happens rather quickly, but depression just doesn't go away. You learn to deal with it. Right now, you're not dealing with it in a healthy way. (I'm not trying to be disrespectful, just reciting the facts regarding depression.)
I truly feel for you brother.... I walked in your shoes for about 30 years too damned long, all because I was too stubborn to get out of my own way, to try to be a little innovative and get some help. Instead, I sat and did nothing except beat myself up and adding more trouble to the trouble I hadn't faced in life.
It stinks.... no doubt. And I can tell that you do want out of this. You didn't get to this point over night and it won't go away over night. Re-read every post above when you can find yourself in a calmer more tolerant state. Relax a bit... not all of this is your fault, and you will begin to see what help is out there. You have to chase it down.
Good luck and stay in touch.