anxiety(social phobia) low mood

[malaisy]

how effective is medication to treat social phobia. Just curious to how it as helped anyone.
also , should i mention these things to the doc even if  i am not feeling them all the time and they vary in severity and may even be past-tense
background low mood(malaise) quite a lot of the time
Have thought about suicide although not suicidal - just imagined it in my head/ methods/ etc
negative thought processes - thinking about death e.g suicide again / imagining my parents dying  etc
quick to  anger / hyper sensitive/ slightest argument / disagreement can lead / plunge me in to negative thought processes listed above .
Sometimes, even when i seem to be in a perfectly ok mood, i'll find myself saying to myself ' i want to die ' or 'i'm gonna die' or i'm dying etc  I have no idea why i do this
My mind is never empty!!!
I often think about self medicating / buying my own anx/ depress meds with out prescription, even tho i'm probably not depressed cos eating sleeping okay etc
feel like there is something wrong with memory - think mind is rotting / forgetting words forgetting what i'm thinking , have trouble organizing thoughts - feels like a colossal effort to write this
maybe i'm lazy? feel like i have no sense of self / sexually confused

[slattery]

Hi Malaisy, Antidepressives helped me with social anxiety and I'm sure they can help you too. I found big differences in effectiveness between them so it's very important to understand that you may have to make a couple of changes before settling on the right one. For me it was Effexor XR; I didn't care for some others. It helps to be a little patient. Better yet, work-through your issues through talk-therapy. With the right therapist you can feel happier and more comfortable with yourself.

Your symptoms sound painful and I wish I could make them go away for you. Sometimes, a step that seems like should be easy, like seeing a physician, psychiatrist or psychologist, can be difficult. I hope you make an appointment. Good luck.

[LeftCoastChick]

As hard as it is, you need to talk to your doc and get a referrral to a psychaitrist. What's happening with you is really complex - and there are lot of things you need to unravel, you also may need some meds to deal with your anxiety, depression , negativity and suicidal ideations. Your mood swings aren't normal, but you can get help to handle them, it's a rough time, and there is no shame in getting help. Hang in there.

[ILADVOCATE]

The first thing to do would be to see a talk therapist and a support group. If people are mocking you that's guaranteed to create many bad feelings. If you get passing hostile remarks its hard to cope with but its happenned to me because of my disability (more in the past) but if anyone is specifically harassing you then that is against the law. I don't know how far it goes. There are support groups related to sexuality and the like. There are also mental health support groups. And in some places there are support groups for both concerns. Much more of importance is when you said you are considering self medicating. That should not be an option. A psychiatrist must prescribe medications. It might be worth it to speak to a psychiatrist who could be of help but obtain some support for the other issues in your life. Not all people are ignorant and put people down. Find some support groups for people who will accept you for who you are even if its just a matter of apperance.

[malaisy]

oh yeah , my social phobia  is related to bullying/ negative comments relating to my appearance - basically people have and sometimes still do think that i look like a man and make negative comments pertaining to my sexuality / gender etc
i'm not as bothered by the comments as i used to be  it's just .... this all started when i was 17 and i'm 26 soon and i feel like my life stopped , like i haven't been living , like people have destroyed me
i know this sounds pathetic, but really it's not about my appearance ... it's not like  ohhh boo hooo i'm so ugly  i wish i was pretty . It's about how ****** up psychologically  this has left me