Fear of being depressed/suicidal?

[gsdf]

I have Anxiety and OCD, and recently I had a fear of becoming a murderer, but then I was standing near an open window and I suddenly thought "Oh god, you could kill yourself!" I jumped back in fright, then thought, "Wait...would you WANT to kill yourself?" I'm not depressed and never have been, but ever since I had that thought I've felt depressed and I keep questioning myself about whether life is worthless and if I wanted to die. The answer to these questions is mainly 'no', but it is causing me anxiety and sometimes I want to cry out of sheer confusion, wondering if I have actual Suicidal thoughts or if it is just a fear of them. It interferes with my life and I worry about it most of the time. I take online 'are you suicidal' tests and the highest score I've ever got is 31%, indicating I'm NOT suicidal. But I can never get the thought that I might become like that one day soon out of my head. Please help!

(NOTE: I'm NOT depressed and I DON'T want to die.)

[Bubulous]

In life the main thing you cna count on is change.  It sounds to me like you are going through a change right now that maybe you don't feel ready for and in fact you may not even know it..  I would like to hear back from you and see what you think about that.  Something has made you question your existence and I have been there many times so I could maybe give some insight.

[gsdf]

thanks a lot for telling me that, reading it was like 100ton of bricks falling off my shoulders.

[123tushar07]

its ocd which is creating doubt and fear in your mind, please consult a psychiatrist for medicine and psychologist for cognitive behavior therapy