Grounded at 28

[crave]

I'm a 28 year old women, the youngest for my parents. I was living in a city away from my home, and was working for past 5 years. My parents never reacted over conservative and I had always considered their advices. When it came to marriage, I wanted to make my own choice and it got delayed. Now for no reason, they have called me home and not letting me go. its the frustration and ego now playing and anything i did in the past, silly mistakes and certain serious mistakes which were then resolved are now bought up. I have no clue when i can go back. I'm helpless because i left my earlier job planning to study further. Now they are not letting me decide and go with anything. Today its 12th day I'm sitting at home with nobody around. Everyone goes for work, i feel even when thy are around i'm invisible. I have lost my appetite, i stay awake for long hours in the night. I simply cannot understand why im being held up. If i try to make a conversation it turns against me and makes it even more complicated. please advice how i should cope up with this situation. I love my parents and i dont want to hurt them. Its the uncertainty and living in the small town is killing me. I'm missing everything back where i used to live. They are getting offended when i mention that. I want to get back and start a new job and get things back to normal. I'm willing to listen to them about marriage, but i feel like a helpless person now. Please advice how i can get them to understand.

[crave]

Hi Anuket.. i was thinking the same. But my family is financially well off, they don't think i should be working if i say its for earning money. My parents are both working and is well known in the society, so they are more concerned about the talks in the society since im unmarried.
Meeting a therapist wont be an issue, they don't have any issues with that. Infact they suggested it for me, because i overreacted. But everyone in the family needs it. I have an elder brother too, who is traditional and over conservative.. he is the one who talks and adds fuel to fire, and changed my dads mind. My mother supports me partially, but she herself is confused, and dad gets offended when she talks for me, thinking she is blaming my dad and it ends up in dad and brother blaming mom for everything.

Its all getting complicated. All are busy with their lives here. I'm just not doing anything than killing my time. And im having nightmares...like lions attacking me, huge waves swallowing me. Sometimes dreams pull me down so deep that even if i wish to wake up i cant. Also i have noticed im worried and doubting that everyone is talking about me., like some kind of conspiracy, i hear parents or brother or even guests in the house talking, i feel they are discussing about me.

I cant understand whats happening to me. I'm trying my best to divert my mind. But I cant stay for long. I make plans in my mind to runaway, today in my dream i saw i was driving very fast through some roads, i just couldn't stop driving. Tomorrow its my birthday, but i dont feel any happy until i know where im heading. Parents feel i should also come to their mindset, become conservative, worry about society. They react very different now saying i should not talk to guys. I cant even believe im having all these restrictions i never had before. I'm not seeing anyone right now. I did go through a bad breakup and i kinda got over it. Now all this is making me insane. I really cant take any action against my dad, because it would hurt him, and i never disobeyed them. As you said i think now only way is the therapist. My parents are anyways already thinking i'm a psycho because i think different from them. They feel they should control me because till now like sendin me to school, college everything they have done. I never thought that would also be bought up. I'll now try and ask them to fix up an appointment with the therapist soon.

Thanks for replying.

[mammo]

You're an adult, just go!  Your parents no longer have control over you and what they are doing is very odd, and disrespectful of you.  Most parents want their adult children to stand on their own two feet and be independent. It's your life, your way and they will have to accept that.  You're going to be an emotional mess if you stay there and be their puppet.  Live your life in a way that makes you happy.  They will eventually understand and accept this.  You don't want to hurt them, but they are hurting you!  Respect and love is a two way street.  I wish you all the best.