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Worried about boyfriend
I am 22 years old and have been dating a 24 year old type 1 diabetic for the past year and a half. He's had diabetes from the age of 7. He eats alot of sugary foods, including ice cream and cookies and cake without discretion. He'll eat a big bowl of honey bunches of oats in the morning, have a sandwich or pizza for lunch, pasta for dinner and usually have a dessert, like a giant bowl of ice cream or popsicles, etc. He checks his blood sugar about 5-6 times a day and will wake up in the middle of the night to check it if he's having problems regulating it. He says he can eat whatever he wants as long as he checks his blood sugar and figures in the extra sugar when he takes his insulin. Is this true? It drives me nuts because he knows alot about the disease and the biology of it, but i don't, so i never know if what he's doing is okay or not. I suggest sugarfree desserts, but he hates the whole idea of them. The taste, the aftertaste and deprivation annoy him. Help! Can he eat sweets? Or is he headed for disaster? I'm really scared for his future, i don't want him to have complications later in life because he's splurging now.
Hi LoopyMo,
I am a volunteer as well and a diabetic for 25 years. I agree with LRS-she had some good info. I have to tell you some of my own insights too. I love that my husband doesn't nag me about my diabetes. He lets me handle it and doesn't questions everything that goes into my mouth. I think it is great that you are concerned, but don't push too hard. Instead get informed as LRS mentioned too. Look up info on websites, not commercial but more like JDRF.org When you are an informed person you might understand him and his habits better. Communication is good, so try it, but let him know you are not judging just concerned and trying to understand.
I am a volunteer as well and a diabetic for 25 years. I agree with LRS-she had some good info. I have to tell you some of my own insights too. I love that my husband doesn't nag me about my diabetes. He lets me handle it and doesn't questions everything that goes into my mouth. I think it is great that you are concerned, but don't push too hard. Instead get informed as LRS mentioned too. Look up info on websites, not commercial but more like JDRF.org When you are an informed person you might understand him and his habits better. Communication is good, so try it, but let him know you are not judging just concerned and trying to understand.
Hello LoopyMo,
We're all volunteers here and not medical professionals, so you may want to talk with a certified diabetes educator or endocrinologist for more insights.
Your boyfriend's choices sound unusual, and yet we cannot assess "how well" we are doing just looking at what we eat (or don't eat. He is correct that we need to check often during the day and also to make adjustments for our food, activity, health, stress, etc.
From your msg, I cannot tell if the measurements he makes reveal that he is balancing everything well or not. Typically, a Type 1 will have a lab blood test done every 3-4 months. It is called an a1c or hemoglobin a1c. It gives us a single number that indicates a rough average of our blood sugar every minute of every hour of the past 3-4 months. Because it is an average, of course, folks could have the same a1c result with very different blood sugars.
Current recommendation is for us to keep our a1c below 7, to minimize risks of complications and balance risks of dangerous lows.
I've provided you with basic diabetes management information. Your concerns for your BF seem rooted in compassion and we all benefit from compassion.
You're obvioulsy a bright person, because you're skeptical of the flippant responses you're getting from your BF. That you are unsure that he's telling you the truth about this, however, is important information for you, too. It could be that he doesn't *want* you to know more; he might hear enuf voices "telling him what to do" in his own head, from his family, from his doctor. Diabetes is a chronic 24*7 disease that we all must manage as best we can. Some days/weeks/months are easier than others, and yet we must move thru each of them. We may all experience bouts of denial.
Ask him about his a1c and the direction they're going in the 1.5 years you've been together. Ask him how you can be supportive and helpful without triggering negative responses. If he's emotionally healthy, he'll know what you're asking and will likely see it as a refreshing approach. He'll be able to tell you his diabetic "hot buttons" (we all have 'em when well-meaning folks try to be helpful in just the wrong way ;-) )
If he pushes you away from knowing about his particulars, I'd encourage you to move on in your life. Things will *not* get better. The risks *will* increase. Truth is ... he is in the driver's seat here and if he's unwilling to get your help navigating, that's important information for you, a young woman with your whole life ahead of you.
Hope this helps, even tho' I may have taken a different direction than you were hoping for.
We're all volunteers here and not medical professionals, so you may want to talk with a certified diabetes educator or endocrinologist for more insights.
Your boyfriend's choices sound unusual, and yet we cannot assess "how well" we are doing just looking at what we eat (or don't eat. He is correct that we need to check often during the day and also to make adjustments for our food, activity, health, stress, etc.
From your msg, I cannot tell if the measurements he makes reveal that he is balancing everything well or not. Typically, a Type 1 will have a lab blood test done every 3-4 months. It is called an a1c or hemoglobin a1c. It gives us a single number that indicates a rough average of our blood sugar every minute of every hour of the past 3-4 months. Because it is an average, of course, folks could have the same a1c result with very different blood sugars.
Current recommendation is for us to keep our a1c below 7, to minimize risks of complications and balance risks of dangerous lows.
I've provided you with basic diabetes management information. Your concerns for your BF seem rooted in compassion and we all benefit from compassion.
You're obvioulsy a bright person, because you're skeptical of the flippant responses you're getting from your BF. That you are unsure that he's telling you the truth about this, however, is important information for you, too. It could be that he doesn't *want* you to know more; he might hear enuf voices "telling him what to do" in his own head, from his family, from his doctor. Diabetes is a chronic 24*7 disease that we all must manage as best we can. Some days/weeks/months are easier than others, and yet we must move thru each of them. We may all experience bouts of denial.
Ask him about his a1c and the direction they're going in the 1.5 years you've been together. Ask him how you can be supportive and helpful without triggering negative responses. If he's emotionally healthy, he'll know what you're asking and will likely see it as a refreshing approach. He'll be able to tell you his diabetic "hot buttons" (we all have 'em when well-meaning folks try to be helpful in just the wrong way ;-) )
If he pushes you away from knowing about his particulars, I'd encourage you to move on in your life. Things will *not* get better. The risks *will* increase. Truth is ... he is in the driver's seat here and if he's unwilling to get your help navigating, that's important information for you, a young woman with your whole life ahead of you.
Hope this helps, even tho' I may have taken a different direction than you were hoping for.
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