motivation and support with diabetes and eating disorder

[diabeticmess]

I don't really know that I have an exact question.  Mostly I need some support from other juvenile diabetics.  I am currently 21 years old and have had diabetes since I was 2 years old.  I had good control of my blood sugars until around age 16 or 17.  I began struggling with anorexia, bulimia and became a compulsive excerciser around age 15 or 16. I became and still am obsessed with calories and my weight. I am currently 5'6 and weigh 117 pounds. I have been through a treatment program for my eating disorder and am currenlty doing pretty well with mantaining my weight and only excercising moderatley.  I am so consumed with what I eat and the calories in food that I often ignore my diabetes.  I also have an irrational fear of low blood sugars.  I hate knowing while I'm working out that I will have to eat something if my blood sugar is low.  To counteract this irrational thinking I often run my blood sugars too high.  Not high like enough to produce ketones or anything just high enough so I don't have to worry about eating anything extra.  My eating disorder thinking and my control over my food consumption always conflict with my need to control my diabetes.  This conflict has led me to struggle alot with my diabetic management.  I am also pretty much a hard core perfectionist about things and get discouraged very easily.  I often have one high reading and give up on testing the rest of the day.  I don't want to die of diabetic complications.  Ironically, I am desiring to work in the health care field.  I am an excellent student with a 3.85 GPA and an awesome work ethic.  I need help staying motivated to monitor my diabetes.  I am interested in working in geriatrics as a P.A. or nurse practioner.  I know this is a really long post but any feed back would be awesome.  I am just trying to get help.

[Chestermum]

Wow. You sound like me in many ways. I am 36 and have had type 1 for 11 years now. I suffered from bullemia and anorexia in highschool, and to this day it still haunts me. It has helped me though in monitoring carbs. But I am much healthier now. In a way, type 1 hit me with the reality of needing to look after myself, to love myself. I am the only one who can control what I do.
I am an obsessive exerciser also. (type A personality, typical Virgo!) I road bicycle competitively and when I am not biking, I am running at the gym.  I started the pump about a year ago and it allows me so much more freedom, eliminating 90% of my lows while exercising.
You obviously have a lot of self discipline and that is key. The obsessiveness is the problem and can easily get out of control, but by being aware, you are on the right track.
I try to eat lower carbs, high fiber, and high protein. My endocrinologist loves me and I am very proud of my accomplishments. I hold my head high now when I tell people I am type 1! Before I was embarrased. If you aren't on the pump, seriously consider it. Especially for people who are seriously active, it is the best thing going if properly monitored.
I hope this helps!  :)

[Shayda]

I know how you feel in a way,
I've only been diagnosed not even for two years, and at the beginning I did pretty well with my blood sugars and everything. But then when I hit fifteen I started to skip injections so my blood would go really really high, and I'd develop ketones and lose weight as a result. I think they're calling it 'diabulimia', and mostly just happens with young women with type one diabetes.
I started to get blurry vision which can lead to diabetes complications (eye disease?) and realized how stupid I was being and how this could really affect me in the long run. Sometimes life would get hard and I just wouldn't want to deal with diabetes, but in the end it's really worth it to take care.
I also have a sister with an eating disorder, so helping her through recovery has really helped motivate me in a way too.
I hope this helped in even a small way :]