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tashasmuminpeterborough

Hi Everyone,

Tasha went to vet yesterday to get a blood draw and urine check.  I will get those results today.  While we were there, the vet listened to her heart and lungs because of a worsening cough.

Her breathing was so noisy that the vet could hardly hear her heart.  An xray was taken.  It showed an enlarged heart and a mass in / near her trachea.

she is going to have an ultrasound today which will give us more info.  I think I will get blood and urine results as well.

I have a huge knot in my stomach.  I fear that she has very little time left.  I am so upset.

While we were at vet, her little brother, Sammy started squealing.  Everyone came running as it was so awful.  He had hurt himself a couple of weeks back, but I think he is over that.   Anyways, he had an xray taken of his front left leg (he was not weight bearing on it) and a full xray of his spine .  No abnormalities showed on xray leaving us to think it is a nerve problem.   Perhaps a pinched nerve.  It was awful.    They had to sedate him and give him pain meds to even take the xray as he was in so much pain they could not manipulate him into the proper xray position.  Even after all of those meds, he was still wimpering.  When the vet turned his head to the left, he complained even more..   This corresponded to him not weight bearing on his left leg.  Without an MRI, it is hard to tell exactly what is going on.  He is on Metacam and Gabapentin which will help with generalized pain and nerve pain.

Tasha's ultrasound is at 12:30 EST this morning.

I don't think I have very much longer with my beloved Tasha.  

Jane

18 Responses
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Avatar universal
Jane, Your father died suddenly, and mine laid in the hospital for two weeks no longer able to eat or drink.  He was old, but like you said young, old, sick or not, is irrelevant.  I too, was very close to my Dad, and its very hard.    You gave Tasha a great life, she was a very lucky dog.   I hope you find comfort in that.  
Helpful - 0
82861 tn?1333453911
Oh Jane.  I have tears running down my face reading this thread.  I know it doesn't help, but I do know how you feel.  Be very proud of yourself that you accompanied your Tasha on her journey to the rainbow bridge.  Not everyone can stand to stay with their pets.  I can't imagine not staying myself.  You did everything you possibly could for Tasha and gave her a wonderful life.  She was a very lucky girl.  (hugs)  :-(
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Avatar universal
Linda,

Nearly 4 years ago, my Dad and his wife went to spain on their annual 6 week visit there.  Five days later he was dead.  She had him cremated there.

I still strongly grieve for him.  I was so close to him.  I went to a bereavement group and the facilitator said it takes about 3 to 5 years to fully grieve for a loved one.  And young or old, sick or not, is irrelevant.   All that counts is that the loved one is now gone and the pain one feels is true.
All of the platitudes that one gets about now he is out of his pain, or he lived a good life, is not helpful.

The fact Daddy left for spain happy and reasonably healthy and then to came back in ashes was an enormous shock and the reality of his death really was hard to sink in.  We had the same family doctor and she was as shocked as the rest of us.  She had no reason to believe that he would drop dead in the bathroom of a hotel in the middle of the night.

anyhow, that is what I feel and what I have learned.  I am so sorry about your Dad.  Truly.

Jane
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Avatar universal
Hi Karla and "linda"

Last evening, I noticed that Tasha was not in the livingroom with us.  I went to look for her and found her by herself in the spare bedroom.

I noticed that it was taking effort for her to breathe.  I packed her and Sammy up and went straight to vet ermerg.   This was at 11:30 last night.

The vet said that her stomach was distended with fluid and that her diaphragm was working against that pressure to move her lungs, which already had fluid in them.

She said she could xray Tasha and do a needle aspiration to relieve some of the pressure, but I would never do that to her at that point.  It didn't fix her, it just delayed the inevitable by a few days.  So I approved the euthanasia.

The vet had to do a C-section first which  would take a bit more than an hour.   I had time to be with her.  I prayed really really hard for my Dad to take care of her till I could be with her again.  I know he will.  He loved Tasha.

When it was time, they sedated her first, and when I was ready the final drug was administered.  She was in my arms in her favourite position when she went into that final sleep.  She was at peace.

I wish I could take comfort with her being at peace.  I just feel incredibly, painfully sad.  It took 8 days from diagnosis to death.  I gave her the best of everything.  How could this have happened to her.  It is so not fair.

OMIGOD I loved that dog.  Everyone did.

She will come back to me in an urn, which I will place next to my Dad's urn.  I am also wearing a pendant with a few of my Dad's ashes in it.  I am going to get one to put some of Tasha's ashes in and put it on the same chain as Dad's pendant.  They are together now and will also be together with me when I get her ashes back..

Sammy is depressed too.  When we got home very early this morning, he started looking for her.  Broke my heart.  And then this morning, he didn't want to get out of bed, and then didn't want to go out pee,   I finally got him to eat breakfast at noon.  It is back sleeping in my room now,  Poor Sammy.  They were partners in crime !

Devastated is not strong enough a word.
Jane


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Avatar universal
I've been following your post, and I'm so sorry to hear about Tasha.  She gave you a Xmas present by not having to decide when it was time, I think that was great,   I know what you mean about Xmas and missing your father, mine died three weeks ago and I wish I could skip the holidays completely.
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462827 tn?1333168952
OH MY GOD!!  What????? I am soooo sorry! This was like a slap in the face to me when I read this!  My heart goes out to you and Sammy! I'm heartbroken for you!!  My goodness.......

RIP little Tasha---Your are much LOVED---One of the lucky ones!!!
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Avatar universal
Tasha died at 1:30 AM December 24, 2013

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Avatar universal
Hi Karla,

Sammy is Tasha`s full blood little brother.  They are yorkies.  He is now 8 and Tasha 10.  They are painfully cute and very sweet. Tasha is black and tan, where Sammy is blue and tan.  Right now, my big cat, who weighs 3 x their weight is torturing them.  He loves doing that.  Oh, Sammy just took the business end of the cat`s fishing pole type cat toy.  

Sammy had a full tracheal collapse in the summer.  Scared the you know what out of me.  He fully passed out in the backyard on a humid and hot day.  I had to rush him to vet emerg where they immediately put him into the oxygen chamber.   This revived him fully and seemed almost back to normal.  I took him to a doggy respirologist who got his radiologist to xray him.  He has a slight malformation of his trachea.  He is not on meds yet.  I just manage the condition.  During hot and or humid days, he is only out in the backyard long enough to do his business.  He is exercise intolerant and cannot go on walks at any time of the year.  Also, his knee caps are beginning to slip. Sammy is also hypoglycemic and is on meds to control that.  Tasha has already had both knees with their cruciates repaired.

Between the 2 of them, I think they have had every possible yorkie weakness possible including Pancreatitis which Tasha had in the summer.

I have been in touch with their breeder.  She ``says`` that their mum died when she fell of the couch while sleeping and broke her neck, and their dad died of pneumonia.  Both were very healthy.  I find that really hard to believe.  But, when I bought the dogs, I went to her house and all of her dogs and their puppies lived in the house with them.   They all looked healthy, happy and robust to me.

Just making their dinner is like being a pharmacist.  I have had to write down, and paste the med schedule on the kitchen cabinet so I don't forget something.  God help me.  I almost overdosed Sammy on his Metacam this morning.

Thanks for writing back Karla.  All of this is a lot to handle on my own.

Jane and all of the rest !!
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462827 tn?1333168952
Hi Jane..."You both have a lot on your plates, including husbands !!.  I have the 8 pets, but got rid of the husband years ago.  He was way more work than all of my pets put together !! This made me laugh out loud!

How old is Sammy & what breed? Just curious, Karla
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Avatar universal
Hi Karla and Connie,

You both have a lot on your plates, including husbands !!.  I have the 8 pets, but got rid of the husband years ago.  He was way more work than all of my pets put together !!

Sammy is still on the gabapentin and metacam.  He is still favouring his front left paw even while on these meds.  The vet wants to re-assess him early next week.  He is not very happy.

Tasha is slightly better on the Lasix and all of her other meds.  It is a struggle to get 2 of those meds syringed in.  Oh well.  She seems to work hard at breathing, but maybe I am just being over sensitive, maybe not.  I don't know.  Yesterday she was just looking at me and I thought maybe she was trying to convey something to me.  But again, maybe I am reading more into that than there was.  Again.  I don't know.

She still loves barking out back.  And is eating her renal lp with dark meat chicken and stock I made (no salt),  I add a few meds into her food which she takes no problem.  I keep her in a sweater now, as it is cold up here in Toronto and I just want her to feel warm.

I have 2 mixed breed cats which are insanely healthy.  IF I get another dog, it will be mixed breed from the shelter.  No more purebred nothings for me.  I also have 3 purebred bunnies.  They have been spayed so they wont get cancer of their reproductive systems as female bunnies mostly die of that kind of cancer.  The boy bunny has been neutered.

I will be alone for Christmas with my pets.  I have a very dysfunctional family.  A hundred years ago, we used to have fun family Christmas, not anymore.  Since my father died, I have no interest in Christmas.  Not without Daddy.

Anyhow, I digress.  

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas, or Happy Hanukah, or I think there are more happy other religions, but cant remember right now.

Jane and Tasha and Sammy, Charlie and Chantal the cats, Dot, Smudge, Lulu and Baby, the bunnies.


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1832268 tn?1326816010
Hi Jane,
Karla is right, don't be sorry about questioning your posts. I think a lot of people think and hope that their posts will be answered right away, but..as Karla said...we are just volunteers.  Please feel free to reply to other peoples posts. There is always room for another volunteer here..!
Welcome to the community..!

I'm so sorry to hear about Tasha's ultrsound. I hope that the lasix will help Tasha to breathe easier. On a good note, it is nice to read that she is acting fairly normal.  Since you are planning on taking her with you to do chores tomorrow, be sure to allow for extra potty stops...her lasix should be working by then.

It sounds like you have quite a bunch of animals. Wow...8 pets. I think I have my hands full with 4 dogs..(and a husband!)  Thanks for being such a caring person. I wish every pet could find a loving home.

I hope Sammy is doing well. My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight.
Connie
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Avatar universal
Hi Karla,

I hope you had fun driving around looking at all of the xmas lights, after driving 60 miles to get there :))

The fluid is not in / on her kidney, but in her abdominal cavity, and in her lung.  So far today, she is acting fairly normally.

I had to go out to do chores today and if possible, I like to bring them with me but I couldn't today.  Tomorrow morning I can, so I will.  She is quite content in my car and usually falls asleep.  She has separation anxiety, so when I can take her with me, I do.

I managed to function normally while out, but on my way back, the tears started flowing.

Last year, I was drawn to go inside our local humane society where I saw Bailey.  He was a 12 y/o, skinny, black lab/hound mix.  He had been in and out of the system for years. This time, someone found him tethered to a pole right next to a to a train track.  Sometime in the past, his tail was so infected, that they had to amputate most of it.  Fortunately, he got on with my yorkies and my bunnies, but wanted to eat, not just chase, my cat.  I spent a ton of money on dog trainers to try and fix this behaviour.  I was unsuccessful.  so, I was trying to rehome him.  As he had never had dental done, I booked an appointment and drove him over.  He sat up pretty in my front seat.  He loved car rides and went happily with the vet tech for the procedure.  The minute I got home, I got a phone call from the vet.  While sedated they xrayed his hips and abdomen.  They found a huge mass.  My bailey boy was euthanized then and there.  He never knew what was going on.  I had given him the best 2 months a person could.  The best food and vet care and probably his first ever groom and kept him by my side.  He was a Velcro dog.  I was sad to lose my Bailey boy, but I lived in the knowledge that I had given him the best care that he had ever had in his life.  Poor boy.

I picked up a couple of bunnies, on different occasions, at the humane society. Neither were being housed nor fed correctly.  I am sure they did their best, but already being a bunny owner of 2, I knew better.   Now, I have 8 pets.  I do not go in there any more.  I have more than I can really manage at this point.

have a nice evening.
jane and Tasha
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462827 tn?1333168952
Well, As usual, I'm crazy!!! I won't be here tonight! I have promised my son that We will drive to where he lives (60 Miles away)and do nothing but drive around the city and look at Christmas Lights! Will have to stop and get some coffee at our favorite shop, also.  He rarely asks for much and this was his request, so I feel the need to respond with a YES!!

This will be my break from worry for just a few hours so I will accept & try to enjoy! I do love the lights & he knows it!

So, I probably won't be around tonight to check in.....Just wanted to let you know.....Margot49 will probably be on and I suspect you will hear from her, too.....Karla
Helpful - 0
462827 tn?1333168952
Hello Jane.....Please don't be sorry! You didn't do anything wrong! We'll I'm devastated about your ultrasound, too! One of mine had a fluid filled mass,also...My Vet had never drained one on a Kidney before, but he did and it worked...Has not returned.....Results showed Stale urine was the fluid leaking from the kidney!

I suspect the lasix will help....I have found that the dose per pound is too high for most dogs...Especially little ones....Be aware of that...Even at half dose; they work beautifully.....Just making you aware so you could call your Vet with any unusual change in behavior....

I have approached this whole Kidney disease issue differently that most.....I figure either way, it's a death sentence, so I chose differently to see the outcome....

My heart breaks for you! I HATE bad news & yes, everyday is a mental struggle....I understand that! The barking in the backyard at nothing made me smile! ;)

All mine are out running their hearts out at our local golf course right now.....Their favorite thing to do!!!!! My husband is able to take them, he follows in a golf cart and lets them all go on an adventure. (Even the sick ones!)

You will know when it's time...She will let you know & you will pick up on it.....Enjoy every moment you have (Although it's hard) and try to not let her pick up on your sadness.....IMO, Depression alone can make a dog sick or sicker....

I'll keep you & Tasha in my prayers...I can't remember how old she is without going to look through other posts.....

I must run...I'm on a mission to save three dogs at our city pound.....One is a full blood Maltese in horrible shape, one is a Yorkie/Poodle Mix (Darling guy) & their brother is a "I don't know what".....However, they all deserve a new loving home for Christmas and I'm desperately trying to make that happen....They are all an "Owner Turn-in" ALL from the same home....Damn their parents!!!!  Take care & I will check in on you later.....Kiss Tasha for me....Karla




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Avatar universal
hi Karla,,

Thank you for your response.  I am sorry.  I guess the only thing that is on my mind now is Tasha's ultrasound results.

She has a mass both in her lung and in her abdomen near her liver and gall bladder.  She has fluid in both places.  Also, the mass in her lung is leaning on her trachea, thus the problems breathing she has been having.  Also, the heart wall has thickened.

Obviously, I am devastated by the news.  She has very little time left.  Right now we are giving her a small amount of Lasix to try and get rid of the fluid which will make her more comfortable.  Lasix is contraindicated in KD, but that point is now moot.  The KD is not going to get her.  The masses are.

Right now she is doing what makes her happiest, barking at nothing in the backyard.  So she does have some good quality of life left.  She does not seem to be in pain at this point.  The vet thinks that this will change in the "short term".

I am "in sink" with her and I will know when it is time, when she is tired.  Plans have already been made.

You do amazing work Karla.  I hope to volunteer at my humane society soon.  I can't do much because of my arthritis, but I can drive around picking up food/dogs, and dropping them off.  Also was thinking that I could be on call if they get a large rescue from a puppy mill or hoarder or something.  

Thank you Karla, and again, sorry.
Jane and Tasha.
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462827 tn?1333168952
Hello Jane...ALot of posts go unanswered from time to time on the forum.....Most, we try very hard to keep up with, but with very few regular supporters, it's hard sometimes...We have people that come and go, but sometimes just CAN"T stick around because of the heartache here!

No, it has nothing to do with not interesting....It's just we are only volunteers w/life getting in the way at our places, too..

In my particular case: I have four rescue dogs (TWO in Kidney Failure), volunteer at a Animal Rescue DAILY, do all their bookkeeping, pay all their bills, write all their Thank You Notes & take phone calls, help go-run a web page at our local KILL shelter to at least get the dogs at the pound some exposure before they are killed, take care of a sick husband, run my household w/no help & then try to find time to come here to help others out.....That's what I mean by life getting in the way! :) Sometimes I even find time for me to take a bath & wash my hair!!!! :)

I've followed Tasha's threads and my heart aches for you and her.....I may not get a chance to respond, but that doesn't mean that I haven't read it OR that I'm not praying for you and her....Trust me, I know how hard it is.....You are doing and have done a incredible job and I commend you for it! Please keep us updated & let us know about the ultrasound.....Hugs to you and her, Karla
Helpful - 0
1832268 tn?1326816010
Hi Jane...
Sorry I have not replied, but...I do not check into this site everyday.
As for why you are not getting any replies, I would guess that it is not a question of your posts being interesting, but rather... heartbreaking.
I know, that for myself, every time I read another kidney disease post, it breaks my heart, and makes it difficult for me to reply...I feel such empathy..it brings back such heartache for myself. So...I give myself a break...thus, the reason I do not check in everyday.

I am sorry to hear about Tasha's worsening condition. This has got to be so difficult for you, added the fact that Sammy is having issues as well.
I can only imagine the stress you are under. I hope that Sammy's problem can be easily taken care of. I can understand why you think that your time with Tasha will be short lived. My heart goes out to you. Please let me know how her ultrasound goes...I really do care.  I will be sure to check back in tonight, and tomorrow in hopes of hearing from you.

Give the "kids" a hug from me....and a big one for you as well.
Connie
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Avatar universal
Good Morning,


I am tashasmuminpeterborough,

why am I not getting responses to my posts??  Are they just not interesting?

thanks, jane
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