27 with low libido/ED

[stinger27]

Hi everyone,

This is a pretty complicated issue so I'm just going to lay all my cards on the table...I'm 27 years old and have had sexual issues since I can remember. In the beginning I suffered from delayed ejaculation (I think due in part to the fact that I was heavily into lesbian pornography in my teens and discovered that while I could easily maintain an erection with a woman I was unable to climax without fantasizing about lesbians). I have never sought treatment for this, but over the years and with different relationships it has become less of an issue and in my last relationship I was able to enjoy sex more and climaxed a few times without fantasy.

However I'm now experiencing a fresh new kind of hell. My last relationship ended 5 months ago and I've met an amazing girl who I have really strong feelings for; the only problem is on our first night together I experienced ED after penetration twice. I put it down to condoms as I've occasionally experienced ED with condoms due to the lessened sensation, but this has never happened to me on a first time. She's very kindly agreed to go on the pill to give me a better experience but since then I've been absolutely terrified and it's knocked my libido heavily. I usually get spontaneous erections when I'm around girlfriends (holding hands etc) which has always been a pleasant reminder that my system's in check but lately its shyed away and I rarely get a full 100% erection these days unless I'm looking at porn, which leads me to my next complaint; the breakup of my last relationship also took a toll on my libido as I began smoking a lot heavier than I used to and lost the desire to look at porn .I have a contentious relationship with porn as I have been trying to quit using it out of both a moral decision and to normalize my brain and balance out my dopamine levels; however this situation has made me a bit desperate and I've binged twice on porn in a desperate bid to kickstart my libido again. I'm really struggling because I'm worried that if I don't have a successful night with my girlfriend soon she'll move on. Has anyone got any advice to share as I would be very grateful. Thanks.

[stinger27]

Thanks for your feedback. I'm wondering how much of this is psychological (low libido) and how much is physical. I've taken measures to improve my health (quit smoking, start jogging and take multivitamins once a day). I just don't quite feel "myself" if that makes sense. Did you take a third of viagra before sex or just during the day to kickstart your system? I'm very hesitant to take viagra because a) the psychological implications, the first time may be great but then I might feel I need it to perform again and get greater performance anxiety as a result and b) I've heard some horror stories about guys who don't actually have physical ED (which might be my case) taking it and then building up a dependance to it. Thankfully my girlfriend is being amazingly understanding about it. In response to your post I'm not currently on any form of antidepressants.

[rusobr2]

i'v had many of relationships = the 100 club, so to speak, my last one was a tough one on me (married 7 yrs. & i thought "cool"), but it wasn't a 100%, the sex was, just not everything else ! anyway i started another one, and this one is still 100% (7 yr.), but when we first went to bed, it was like i was doing something wrong, not towards her, but in my mind i was like a failure to myself ! oh, it worked a few times, but i could not stay hard.......i went to DR., and she said to use the Viagra, me of course, is like no way do i need that ! she told me to get a couple of the 50's, and use razor blade to cut them into about 1/3 pieces, then just take a piece some time that day.......just till my "self" comes back, and being comfy ! well, it worked, and after about 2 wks. i'm back to old self again ! i do know that if your taking any kind of anti-depression stuff, it's really tough, even with Viagra........

steven

[stinger27]

* It might also be worth me saying that I visited my doctor about this and have had my blood tested and a testicular ultrasound. She prescribed me with Viagra but theres no way I want to go near that stuff unless it's a last resort.