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Devastated


I am 32 years old male. Moderately obese. 6' 108 kg. I am not fit or strong...chubby type body. Recently I got married to a woman. And it's an arranged mairrage. We spoke for over a year and then decided to get married. We have a good understanding and I am attracted to her...we kiss cuddle hug..and do all the foreplay...but we haven't finished inter course yet. I am getting strong erection when I am near her. But as soon as I insert after a few thrusts I am losing erection....we are trying trying and it's two months....when she gives me BJ or i masturbate...i am able to sustain my erection. But not inside vagina...what is the reason for this....I took a penile Doppler thinking I have ED but the test came negative. So I don't have ED physically...so is it performance anxiety ..but even outside vagina I am not able to sustain my erection for 3 or 4 mins. Once I took viagra 300 mg so much dose..I thought I will be hard all day. I was stimulated. I never felt different from my usual erection and the same thing happened. Does viagra work like this?


...I have been masturbating all my life...from 11 I do it every single day. Is my penis sensitivity gone...will not using hand from three or 5 months bring back my sensitivity. Nofap that is.


I am not getting stronger erection because I am not physically strong or no stamina? I don't enjoy vagina so much is it because of using my hand?

Even with viagra 300 mg nothing happened...I'm devastated.



I love my wife, she loves me some one help I am worried about her.
Best Answer
Avatar universal
Thank you for posting.  I am sorry you are going through this.  I am not really sure what you mean about the doppler ultrasound coming back negative.  The ultrasound tests blood flow and it's a range.  I don't think that conclusively rules out any physical causes.  Also, do not take such a high dose of viagra and when you are on viagra be careful as it can cause priapism which can worsen the ED.

Are you able to maintain a hard erection on your own?  Do you wake up with morning wood and does it take a while for that erection to return to the flaccid state?  Or even on your own is it as soon as you take your hand off the erection disappears within moments?
7 Comments
Ok I took a ultrasound test and the doctor told I am completely fine and the problem is in my head.

When I get morning wood. Maximum it stays up for a minute.

Yes when I take off my hand the erection disappears.
That's really frustrating.  Your doctor needs to help you more to figure this out.  The 'in your head' is condescending.  I don't like that.  Having anxiety and whatnot isn't just in your head. It's real to have these disorders and they can impact erections as a contributing factor.  I am of the mind that anyone and everyone can benefit in working out life's stuff with therapy. So, this would not hurt to pursue talking through with a therapist as well.  But you also don't need a doctor to blow off your issues.
I also did send you an inbox message about a week ago now if you wanted to check there.  My replies here to you keep getting deleted.  I'm not sure if you check your inbox so I'm just letting you know there is a message there.
I once had a problem similar to yours then I was introduced to a vacuum device in which I absolutely love. I use the device and then two retainer rings and it stays hard for 15 to 20 minutes. I love it and so does she.
I've heard of these vacuum devices. Did your doctor recommend or did you just go that way on your own?
My urologist suggested a Vaccum device and boy what a difference.
Good to know and hear!
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Avatar universal
It will be great is some one who has experience such problem give advice on how they over came it
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I think that you have erections during oral sex and when aroused by her would indicate this likely has a large psychological component to it. Also, your weight and health do play a role in your erectile response.  Unfortunately.  What about working on a fitness program? Cleaning up your diet a bit and exercise (if doctor doesn't feel it is dangerous for you and if you do begin, start slow).  I think this helps overall with your body being in the best position for sex as well as your confidence. This may sound weird but there are actually studies correlating aerobic activity to improvement in erections.  Also, get your blood pressure checked and your sugar levels checked just to rule out any issues with those as they can make erections unreliable as well. I don't know what the mental health help is like where you are posting from.  But talk therapy can be of great benefit. Cognitive behavioral therapy, specifically.  
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