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Erection prob
my husband is 29 yrs old, we got married 2 yrs before, he faces difficulty in getting erection before intercourse if we try it daily,however, he will have full erection if we try every 10th day or so, he never wakes me up during night to have sex,rather i m realizing him most of the times that we did not have sex for many days, he avoids me for many days once we have an unsuccessful attempt, he does not have eraly ejaculation problem and we have one son also, but the problem is that the frequency of having sex is very less due to his erection problem, i feel that his sexual desire is also low.he is not aroused when we touch eachother,his erection starts only when i hold his organ,but this formula does not work for daily basis,what can be the possible solution?i dont pressurise him or curse him for his weakness,rather my attitude is quite compromising but i am suffering too much because i am having little more sex drive than him.
I agree. masturbation can be very harmful unlike what is being hyped in the medical community that it has no side effects.
Have your husband get all the tests ran by his doctor. (testosterone levels, blood sugar levels, whatever doc wants to check out, etc.)
If everything keeps coming back NORMAL, self-pleasure is his problem.
For the past 10 years, I've been back n forth to different doctors and all my levels kept coming up normal and they kept telling me its all psychological. I said "no" this is not psychological and at that point (being fed with docs telling me this nonsense) I decided to get to the root of the problem myself.
I gave it deep thought and realize the main reason I lose erection during sex was lack of sensation. If I can figure out a way to keep my penis feeling good during sex I would not lose my erection. The only thing I could think of that was off setting my sensation was my own hand. Plus I felt that lubrications were drying out my penis. So since I was so mad at my sex life I decided to abandon touching myself for a month. I wasn't sure if that was going to change anything but one day I just got so turned off with masturbation.
After 30 something days, I decided to hook up with my ex (bad sex was one of the reasons we broke up but we still friends) and she came over to my house. We got the kissing and stuff but one thing I noticed, my penis was more responsive. She gave me oral sex and my penis head enjoyed more than before. I was scared to put on the condom but I did it anyway. When I penetrated I expected to not feel a damn thing but this time I did. My penis was enjoying the feel so I kept penetrating and next thing you know we were having sex. I lasted a good 10 minutes (I couldn't hold it in) and then I ejaculated in the condom. We couldn't believe it! My hand has been my own memory for years.
Masturbation is consider normal and healthy but there is some hidden stuff about it that causes a man to have some erectional problems in the bedroom.
If everything keeps coming back NORMAL, self-pleasure is his problem.
For the past 10 years, I've been back n forth to different doctors and all my levels kept coming up normal and they kept telling me its all psychological. I said "no" this is not psychological and at that point (being fed with docs telling me this nonsense) I decided to get to the root of the problem myself.
I gave it deep thought and realize the main reason I lose erection during sex was lack of sensation. If I can figure out a way to keep my penis feeling good during sex I would not lose my erection. The only thing I could think of that was off setting my sensation was my own hand. Plus I felt that lubrications were drying out my penis. So since I was so mad at my sex life I decided to abandon touching myself for a month. I wasn't sure if that was going to change anything but one day I just got so turned off with masturbation.
After 30 something days, I decided to hook up with my ex (bad sex was one of the reasons we broke up but we still friends) and she came over to my house. We got the kissing and stuff but one thing I noticed, my penis was more responsive. She gave me oral sex and my penis head enjoyed more than before. I was scared to put on the condom but I did it anyway. When I penetrated I expected to not feel a damn thing but this time I did. My penis was enjoying the feel so I kept penetrating and next thing you know we were having sex. I lasted a good 10 minutes (I couldn't hold it in) and then I ejaculated in the condom. We couldn't believe it! My hand has been my own memory for years.
Masturbation is consider normal and healthy but there is some hidden stuff about it that causes a man to have some erectional problems in the bedroom.
Of course, this guy might be right. If your hubby is masturbating esp, to porn, then he would be less eager to have sex with you. However, you can't rule out any thing out of hand.
I do not agree with you on the psychogenesis of all erectile dysfunction cases, according to Bourcier, McGuire, and Abrams (2004), "Approximately 80% of cases of ED are due solely or predominantly to organic causes". For one, as I read in one of Dr. Romeo Mariano's (M.D) posts, mind and the body cannot be separated. yes, if I lose a job, I may lose my ability to maintain erection during sex (psychological, right?) but why is that? this happens because my stress induces higher cortisol production, epinephrine and norepinephrine production. when the psychological stress is lifted, then the level of cortisol and these neurotransmitters' synthesis will reverse to its prior state. this is psychological. but at the end, there is always an organically related answer. However, these are just ideas, you shouldn't accept them on face value be it mine or Myron's who has based the whole sexual dysfunction on masturbation and ignored Drs such as Dr. Mariano, Dr. Crysler, and Dr. Shippen (author of Testosterone Syndrome), all of whom are either MDs or endos. You have to allow a specialist to dig up the causes. low testosterone can be related to hypothyroidism or low dhea, high cortisol, high shbg, high estradiol, high dht. only the free testosterone test or bioavailable testosterone reveals this. I'v told you before testosterone is only one factor if his estradiol is too low, he will have zero libido no matter how high his testosterone is. talk to him and take him to a specialist. you can't find a cure for him in here.
I do not agree with you on the psychogenesis of all erectile dysfunction cases, according to Bourcier, McGuire, and Abrams (2004), "Approximately 80% of cases of ED are due solely or predominantly to organic causes". For one, as I read in one of Dr. Romeo Mariano's (M.D) posts, mind and the body cannot be separated. yes, if I lose a job, I may lose my ability to maintain erection during sex (psychological, right?) but why is that? this happens because my stress induces higher cortisol production, epinephrine and norepinephrine production. when the psychological stress is lifted, then the level of cortisol and these neurotransmitters' synthesis will reverse to its prior state. this is psychological. but at the end, there is always an organically related answer. However, these are just ideas, you shouldn't accept them on face value be it mine or Myron's who has based the whole sexual dysfunction on masturbation and ignored Drs such as Dr. Mariano, Dr. Crysler, and Dr. Shippen (author of Testosterone Syndrome), all of whom are either MDs or endos. You have to allow a specialist to dig up the causes. low testosterone can be related to hypothyroidism or low dhea, high cortisol, high shbg, high estradiol, high dht. only the free testosterone test or bioavailable testosterone reveals this. I'v told you before testosterone is only one factor if his estradiol is too low, he will have zero libido no matter how high his testosterone is. talk to him and take him to a specialist. you can't find a cure for him in here.
Suzan, this is all nonsense! Your husband is going thru this low libido, not getting full erection or maintaining erections during sex because of MASTURBATION A.K.S SELF-PLEASURE!
Every thing you mention about him use to be me until ONE DAY I decided to leave my penis alone. I went 30 straight days with no masturbation, no touching my penis or anything (unless I had to pee or wash) and AFTER 30 DAYS, my penis was more responding and more sensitive to a woman's touch. IN FACT, for the last 15 years I could never ejaculate thru a latex condom. AFTER 30 DAYS, I decided to have sex with my ex with the latex condom and me and her couldn't believe it. WE WERE ENJOYING SEX FINALLY WITH THE LATEX CONDOM!! I use to always say to her " I can't feel anything" and this caused my penis to go down. Now when we had sex, it felt 80% like real sex.
TILL THIS DAY, I WILL NEVER TOUCH MY PENIS AGAIN!
Every thing you mention about him use to be me until ONE DAY I decided to leave my penis alone. I went 30 straight days with no masturbation, no touching my penis or anything (unless I had to pee or wash) and AFTER 30 DAYS, my penis was more responding and more sensitive to a woman's touch. IN FACT, for the last 15 years I could never ejaculate thru a latex condom. AFTER 30 DAYS, I decided to have sex with my ex with the latex condom and me and her couldn't believe it. WE WERE ENJOYING SEX FINALLY WITH THE LATEX CONDOM!! I use to always say to her " I can't feel anything" and this caused my penis to go down. Now when we had sex, it felt 80% like real sex.
TILL THIS DAY, I WILL NEVER TOUCH MY PENIS AGAIN!
not eaxctly soy beans, but he eats junk food like cheese ball, potato chips and chocolates almost daily.i think testoseterone is directly related to libido and erectile function, i am all confused whether his prob is physical or psychological. it is said that in youth almost 100% cases are psychological, to lose erection before intercourse may be psychological but i dont think low libido is also psychological.he does not ask me for sex bcoz he does not have desire!! or he has fear of having unsuccessful attempt.
BTW, I forgot to tell you that if his refractory period is every 10 days then his prolactin is probably high which suppresses dopamine hence the lower libido and erectile dysfunction. one question he isn't by any chance eating soy beans? soy beans are estrogenic, suppress testosterone and lead to hypothyroidism.
It al depends on the cause. But if it is hormonal and he goes on hormone replacement therapy, hypothyroid pills and testosterone gel/injections are usually for life.
so much thanks for ur concern and detailed answer, ok,i try to handle the situation as u guided, its awkward to ask, but pls tell me, if doctor prescribes some pill, then would it be for life time? i mean he will have to use it forever or there can be a course composed of few months?any idea pls?
It's obvious that he has a problem. You must discuss it with him because if you don't, gradually your marriage will be ruined. May be you can soldier on for a couple of years but somewhere down the line you'll become frustrated and will give up. He has a medical condition and he needs medical attention even if he doesn't accept it. Erectile problems are not only sex problems but they reflect deeper health problems.
Remember this is his problem as much as it is yours. So you must speak with him even if it becomes really awkward. and on his part he needs to accept it. I know it's hard but it's the only way to go. But this is the first step. If you can't get past this step, how can you expect his recovery? It breaks my heart to say this but If he doesn't see eye to eye with you on this, it's not your problem any more. It shows that he doesn't care about you, your needs, and your happiness. then I guess you have to decide on YOUR next step in your own life.
The problem with going natural is that after some time the supplements will lose their effectiveness. So you need to cycle them e.g., 4 days on, 3 days off. Regarding side effects:
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginseng)
According to a Sports Nutrition FAQ published by UMass Amherst, one of P. ginseng's most common side effects is the inability to sleep.[22] However, other sources state ginseng causes no sleep difficulties.[23] Other side effects can include nausea, diarrhea, headaches, epistaxis,[24] high blood pressure, low blood pressure, and mastalgia.[25] Ginseng may also lead to induction of mania in depressed patients who mix it with antidepressants.[26]
If he has hormonal problems most probably suplements won't work. Something that I 've heard rave reviews about is yohimbine made from yohimbe tree which is an FDA-approved supplement. However, you need to have a script to buy that. Bear in mind that you need to consult a doctor for dosing as the supplement can be toxic. As for differnt supplements, the best I can give you is the URLs of two forums in which guys are like experts in different supplements and causes of ED.I hope they don’t get deleted.
1. recover.forumup.org
2. forum.mesomorphosis.com/mens-health-forum
Create an account and raise your question (about for example ginseng tea or capsules). They'll be very helpful.
best of luck,
Leo
Remember this is his problem as much as it is yours. So you must speak with him even if it becomes really awkward. and on his part he needs to accept it. I know it's hard but it's the only way to go. But this is the first step. If you can't get past this step, how can you expect his recovery? It breaks my heart to say this but If he doesn't see eye to eye with you on this, it's not your problem any more. It shows that he doesn't care about you, your needs, and your happiness. then I guess you have to decide on YOUR next step in your own life.
The problem with going natural is that after some time the supplements will lose their effectiveness. So you need to cycle them e.g., 4 days on, 3 days off. Regarding side effects:
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginseng)
According to a Sports Nutrition FAQ published by UMass Amherst, one of P. ginseng's most common side effects is the inability to sleep.[22] However, other sources state ginseng causes no sleep difficulties.[23] Other side effects can include nausea, diarrhea, headaches, epistaxis,[24] high blood pressure, low blood pressure, and mastalgia.[25] Ginseng may also lead to induction of mania in depressed patients who mix it with antidepressants.[26]
If he has hormonal problems most probably suplements won't work. Something that I 've heard rave reviews about is yohimbine made from yohimbe tree which is an FDA-approved supplement. However, you need to have a script to buy that. Bear in mind that you need to consult a doctor for dosing as the supplement can be toxic. As for differnt supplements, the best I can give you is the URLs of two forums in which guys are like experts in different supplements and causes of ED.I hope they don’t get deleted.
1. recover.forumup.org
2. forum.mesomorphosis.com/mens-health-forum
Create an account and raise your question (about for example ginseng tea or capsules). They'll be very helpful.
best of luck,
Leo
thank u very much for such a detailed answer, but, i never said to him straighaway that u need treatment or u r not normal and things like that,however,i have told him many times that i want sex frequent and things like that, now, all of a sudden how can i ask him for all these tests because he does not feel that he has any problem or his desire is not synchronizing with that of mine, how to make him realise that he needs to get himself checked? i dont want to make him conscious, and pls also tell me what about ginseng capsules or ginseng tea? although i dont want to do any self medication, but still i was thinking what if i give him 1 ginseng capsule dissolving in milk to him so that he could not know that he is having any treatment,just to keep himself relaxed, but prob is i dont know at what age ginseng should be used and about its side effects,he does not smoke,no alcohol, stress level is not very high daily,i mean his prob is persistant since 2.5 yrs, any further guidance will be highly appreiated.
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As a guy who struggled with impotence for 10 years, I know where you're coming from. First of all, your husband avoids you for several days because he's ashamed, embarrased, and hurt and because he has lost his self-confidence. So remember don't pin this problem on yourself. I've seen many women who think it's their fault that their man is not aroused, believe me most of the time they are wrong. I know you're hurting, but he really really needs your support. If you are thinking about this problem every day, he's thinking about it every second of his day.
Now back to the problem, first you need to provide much more detail than you already have like stress in his life, medicine he’s taken, or drugs, or maybe finastride (propecia) . But I can give you some pointers as what to do. erectile dysfunction has different etiologies. some psychogenic, some physiological, some hormonal.
First psychological, from my hands-on experience most urologists tend to brush this problem off as psychogenic. However, most of the time it is not. This is usually gauged by the incidence of night time or spontaneous erections. If these are present, the cause is chalked up to psychological states.
Physiological causes can be ruled out by tests run by a urologist.
hormonal imbalances which were the culprit in my case are usually underestimated. First, be noted that a blood test result in the normal reference range doesn't mean that there is no problem. as for my case, I went from one urologist to another from one endo to another all saying out of hand that my numbers were good. I began my own research. Searching the Net for answers educating myself. Guess what, most doctors run only cursory tests like testosterone, prolactin, estrogen, and then some thyroid tests, TSH, T3, T4. However, it is not that simple. Ed can be caused by adrenal, thyroid, and sex hormone imbalances. So I found an endo who was understanding and who listened to me. He ran the tests that I talked to him about and we discussed our next moves. Many a time he disagreed with me esp regarding reference ranges but at the end he gave in. Finally I can say that I don't have ed any more.
First, you need to test a full adrenal, thyroid and sex hormone panels.
As for adrenals, run the following tests: cortisol (24 hour, saliva), aldosterone, DHEA or DHEA-S, ACTH, PREGNENOLONE
Thyroid: T3, T4, TSH, FT3, FT4, Reverse T3 (I had a TSH of 2.9. I was told by doctors that my thyroid looked ok actually it didn't. British Medical Journal reported that TSH number above 2 is not normal. Nevertheless the reference range does not show this.
Sex hormones: Testosterone, Free Testosterone or Bioavailable testosterone, estradiol (e2) (only the sensitive assay) (remember people can maintain an erection with low testosterone but with low or high estradiol even viagra and cialis will not work. this is many a time the bad guy in ed) (remember an estrogen test is of little use you need to test estradiol, estrone and estriol which all form estrogen in a man's body), shbg, dht , prolactin
also,test Iron and Iron Binding Capacity, Ferritin, insulin and fasting insulin, zinc, vitamin b12, TBIC, and Lipid profile
I have to reiterate that normal test result does not mean that there are no imbalances. After getting bloodwork done, post the results on one of erectile dysfunction forums. I know some good ones but I think they’ll get deleted if I post them here. You cannot believe how knowledgeable the guys on these forums are. Nevertheless, your husband needs to be under the supervision of a good endo. You cannot self-medicate.
As for me doctors only prescribed viagra and cialis which did not work. because my hormones were so out of whack. Even if they did, they were only temporary fixes. After my extensive bloodwork, I started taking pregnenolone, cytomel, and dim/indoplex. and I'm feeling born again.I I wish I would be so lucky to have a wife one day that cared about me as much as you do. You husband is a very lucky man. Just hang in there. I’m the living proof that this is totally treatable.
best of luck,
Leoneed