Avatar universal

My husband can't keep an erection and e blames me for it

We just got married about 5 months now and  I was not really into sex before i got married. My husband can't keep an erection and he blames me for it saying its because I am not good in bed.Is it also because he is not attracted to me ? or could my lack of experience be the only reason. And he wouldn't want to ask me for sex playing the game of waiting for me to ask him for sex. So when i don't ask him after a few day, he just confessed he turns to porn to help him. I never had an issue with the guys i dated prior to him because even merely looking at me they get turned on. I am the only one that presently works and i do get tired after i get back form work and sex is usually the last thing on my mind. He prefers me to be the rider instead of him. Please what can I do? I simply feel less attractive and useless.
5 Responses
3110545 tn?1343308648
it's not your fault he might have ED ... don't blame yourself usually a guy will get an erection even if the woman he's sleeping with is actually sleeping
Avatar universal
Hi, you have pointed out that your husband is using porn, if he is masturbating to porn then he may have porn enduced ED, and its this thats effecting his erections and not you, his only way out of this is take a complete break for 8 weeks, so thats no sex, no masturbating, no porn and he has to completly forget sex, this will give his body a chance to reboot, thats if he wants his sex life back, and when hes back in the saddle he must stop watching porn for ever. You can google porn enduced ED for more info.
Good Luck
3110545 tn?1343308648
Avatar universal
Thank you all for your response.
I don't know how I am going to tell him this, I come from a continent where everything is blamed on the woman.
I recently told him he was a perfectionist but he considered it as an insult.

This has been helpful for my own self esteem.
Avatar universal
Hi, but you could help by pointing him in the right direction, but it has to be done in a very helpful way and somehow you have got to make him think that it is him that is doing the looking, somehow you have got to turn his head in the right direction, lots of womenly ways that no doubt you have, think of it this way if you can.
Do you have any friends that you have shared this with, I'm talking the things that you have revealed on here, and see if you can with them point him in the right direction.
These are just some thoughts that may help.
Good Luck
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