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Throat Hurting When Upset (Preschooler)
My son is 4 years old. I have noticed the past couple of times that he has been upset that he grabs his throat and tells me that it hurts. He tells me this whether he is in trouble or just upset about something. I haven't taken him to the Dr. yet. It has only been the past couple of weeks. I was trying to see if anyone else has ever had this issue with their preschooler. Thanks for the help and your time.
It's normal when trying not to cry to feel a 'lump' in the throat. It can ache and make it hard to swallow. I supposed this is where the old sayings, "lump in the throat" and "choking back the tears" come from.
My son's school hosted a parenting class based on the amazing book "HOLD ON TO YOUR KIDS" written and taught by GORDON NEUFELD. It sure opened my eyes as to how the way we interact and discipline our kids affects their resiliency later in life. The bottom line is that kids MUST cry. Here's a summary I wrote on the importance of shedding tears:
The history of spanking..Well have you heard the old saying that a good cry is cleansing? Tears of futility have a different chemical composition than tears of joy, and when fed to laboratory rats, have killed them. Tears of futility are shed when something happens to us that we can't alter no matter how much we try (no, you can't have a cookie before supper..experiences of grief and loss). So in fact, crying releases toxins. These toxins alter brain chemistry and cause depression, anger and aggression. Boys are raised to "suck it up" and we tend to feel annoyed when our children whine and cry...but this evidence suggests that kids who cry are better adjusted and more resilient. Imagine being a farm wife of 12 kids and one is pulling at your apron strings as you are trying to do neccessary tasks. If you took each child aside to spend time cottling them and meeting every minute need, you would have never accomplished anything. So they would give a quick spank to bring the child to tears. As the child cries needed tears of futility and quickly adjusts to not having their way, Mom can get on with cooking dinner. It has long been recognized that crying is vital to our emotional well-being but culture often encourages us to suppress emotion. And we wonder why mental illness is rampant? I'm not saying spank your children. I don't. But I don't have a dozen of them either. We can draw tears of futilty out of our children through engaging them in their emotions..."I know you really want that cookie and chocolate chip cookies are your favorite, but you will have to wait till after dinner". WAAAAAAAA! should be a healthy response to a child not having their way. And if we spank our children punitively we are in essence telling them that their behavior alters our relationship with them. That we love them less when they are "bad". As parents, we must be 'tear collectors' and evoke emotion if we expect our children to mature and develop healthily...This does not require physical violence and time-outs. When we stiffle crying we create aggressive children.
I'm a RN and have worked in Public Health with Mom's, babies and toddlers for years. I also have 3 sons of my own. There is no manual to raise perfect kids. We make mistakes. The key is to seek knowledge and understanding on how we can be more effective parents. As well intended as our actions are some of them just don't work and can even be counterproductive to what we are trying to accomplish. "We are all creatures of attachment" and would do well to collect the hearts and minds of our kids through meeting their emotional needs.
I strongly disagree with the above post about the placebo thing. Giving candy to soothe a sore stomach has many dangerous implications. Kids may take real medicine out of the cabinet which can prove fatal. It enforces patterns of addiction when kids feel they need a pill or "vitamin" to cope with everyday stressors. And lastly it impedes a childs ability to acknowledge feelings and soothe themselves. An upset stomach in children is frequently caused by distressing feelings that they are unable to articulate. As parents it's our duty to explore and validate our children's feelings. Giving candy sends a faulty message and devoids our responsibility to talk to our kids. When you have a chance check out this website:
http://www.gordonneufeld.com/home
This is quite the response to your question lol but what I learned has had such a postitive impact on my life as a Mom that I vowed to share at every given the opportunity.
Best wishes to you and your family!
My son's school hosted a parenting class based on the amazing book "HOLD ON TO YOUR KIDS" written and taught by GORDON NEUFELD. It sure opened my eyes as to how the way we interact and discipline our kids affects their resiliency later in life. The bottom line is that kids MUST cry. Here's a summary I wrote on the importance of shedding tears:
The history of spanking..Well have you heard the old saying that a good cry is cleansing? Tears of futility have a different chemical composition than tears of joy, and when fed to laboratory rats, have killed them. Tears of futility are shed when something happens to us that we can't alter no matter how much we try (no, you can't have a cookie before supper..experiences of grief and loss). So in fact, crying releases toxins. These toxins alter brain chemistry and cause depression, anger and aggression. Boys are raised to "suck it up" and we tend to feel annoyed when our children whine and cry...but this evidence suggests that kids who cry are better adjusted and more resilient. Imagine being a farm wife of 12 kids and one is pulling at your apron strings as you are trying to do neccessary tasks. If you took each child aside to spend time cottling them and meeting every minute need, you would have never accomplished anything. So they would give a quick spank to bring the child to tears. As the child cries needed tears of futility and quickly adjusts to not having their way, Mom can get on with cooking dinner. It has long been recognized that crying is vital to our emotional well-being but culture often encourages us to suppress emotion. And we wonder why mental illness is rampant? I'm not saying spank your children. I don't. But I don't have a dozen of them either. We can draw tears of futilty out of our children through engaging them in their emotions..."I know you really want that cookie and chocolate chip cookies are your favorite, but you will have to wait till after dinner". WAAAAAAAA! should be a healthy response to a child not having their way. And if we spank our children punitively we are in essence telling them that their behavior alters our relationship with them. That we love them less when they are "bad". As parents, we must be 'tear collectors' and evoke emotion if we expect our children to mature and develop healthily...This does not require physical violence and time-outs. When we stiffle crying we create aggressive children.
I'm a RN and have worked in Public Health with Mom's, babies and toddlers for years. I also have 3 sons of my own. There is no manual to raise perfect kids. We make mistakes. The key is to seek knowledge and understanding on how we can be more effective parents. As well intended as our actions are some of them just don't work and can even be counterproductive to what we are trying to accomplish. "We are all creatures of attachment" and would do well to collect the hearts and minds of our kids through meeting their emotional needs.
I strongly disagree with the above post about the placebo thing. Giving candy to soothe a sore stomach has many dangerous implications. Kids may take real medicine out of the cabinet which can prove fatal. It enforces patterns of addiction when kids feel they need a pill or "vitamin" to cope with everyday stressors. And lastly it impedes a childs ability to acknowledge feelings and soothe themselves. An upset stomach in children is frequently caused by distressing feelings that they are unable to articulate. As parents it's our duty to explore and validate our children's feelings. Giving candy sends a faulty message and devoids our responsibility to talk to our kids. When you have a chance check out this website:
http://www.gordonneufeld.com/home
This is quite the response to your question lol but what I learned has had such a postitive impact on my life as a Mom that I vowed to share at every given the opportunity.
Best wishes to you and your family!
Hi,
Is your son able to tell you what he's upset about? Could It be an anxiety/stress issue? Yes, even that young, & it could be for any reason. Be it an issue with another child, even something as simple as something he might have seen, heard or whatever. My son went through something (might be similar) but it was with his stomach. It only showed up when he was upset as well. I looked everywhere for something. ( prefer to do things homeopathic)At that time I couldn't find anything so I went the placebo route. I found Tic-tacs (the fruity kind) he never saw the package. I only gave it to him when he was complaining about his stomach. I kid you not it worked. I found out it was only stress. of course I only did this after I had taken him to the DR. for them to make sure there was nothing else wrong. For my son it was stress anxiety. He hasn't needed his "feel better vitamins" in a very long time. :-) (((HUGS))) I hope this helps you, & I hope your son feels better.
For any other parenting advice I have a facebook page called The Common Sense Parenting Handbook. It's a place where fellow parents get together & get advice from each other, & share stories. :-)
Is your son able to tell you what he's upset about? Could It be an anxiety/stress issue? Yes, even that young, & it could be for any reason. Be it an issue with another child, even something as simple as something he might have seen, heard or whatever. My son went through something (might be similar) but it was with his stomach. It only showed up when he was upset as well. I looked everywhere for something. ( prefer to do things homeopathic)At that time I couldn't find anything so I went the placebo route. I found Tic-tacs (the fruity kind) he never saw the package. I only gave it to him when he was complaining about his stomach. I kid you not it worked. I found out it was only stress. of course I only did this after I had taken him to the DR. for them to make sure there was nothing else wrong. For my son it was stress anxiety. He hasn't needed his "feel better vitamins" in a very long time. :-) (((HUGS))) I hope this helps you, & I hope your son feels better.
For any other parenting advice I have a facebook page called The Common Sense Parenting Handbook. It's a place where fellow parents get together & get advice from each other, & share stories. :-)
He goes to Preschool at our church. I am a stay at home dad. He is with me all the time. So I doubt that anyone has touched his throat. Thanks for your opinion though.
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