Aa
please help
my downs boy is 26 years old, for a few years now his has got violent and angry with me, can you help
I have copied and pasted an article on Down Syndrome & Aggressive Behavior from EhowHealth written by Lisa Pulsifer, eHow Contributor, and like I said earlier although I do not know about Downs I should imagine they have needs like anyone else. Even people suffering from Alzheimers ( and i do have experience of this first hand) can become aggressive because they cannot communicate or express their rquirements which makes them feel very frustrated and comes out as aggesssion.
Read more: Down Syndrome & Aggressive Behavior | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/facts_5656062_down-syndrome-aggressive-behavior.html#ixzz2ML6YCUAZ
People with Down syndrome sometimes have trouble communicating and getting their needs met. Combined with a possible lack of impulse control, this can sometimes result in frustration and aggression. Providing alternative behavior options can alleviate the problem and improve communication lines for everyone involved.
.
Identification
Aggressive behavior is anything done with the intent of causing harm to another person. Examples include hitting, biting or scratching (have had experience with this from my 6 year old granddaughter who is not Downs, but does have Dispraxia, she used to pinch my husband)
Cause
Behaviors serve a function that can be categorized into one of three categories: avoidance, attention seeking or fulfillment of some type of sensory need.
.
Solution
By determining the function of the behavior, you can provide an appropriate replacement behavior. For example, if a child with Down syndrome hits someone whenever he feels overwhelmed, the boy can be provided with a way to ask for a break before becoming aggressive.
Prevention
Providing a way for people with Down syndrome to communicate and have control in their lives can reduce aggressive behavior by allowing them to get their needs met.
Considerations
It is important to ensure all health issues are considered when trying to understand unexplained aggression. Pain or discomfort might be difficult for a person with Down syndrome to express.
Read more: Down Syndrome & Aggressive Behavior | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/facts_5656062_down-syndrome-aggressive-behavior.html#ixzz2ML6FHIqa
*********
Perhaps he needs some space to do his own thing.
I trust you find this useful and informative in helping you to deal with your Downs son. I know that having your son analysed by two psychiatrists and institutionalized is the last thing on your mind. This may need to be considered if every other avenue has been exhausted without success.
But I am certain that his anger and aggressive behavior (because he has not had this type of behaviour before) is due to his frustration of not being understood.
I hope you will be able to get this resolved so that you both can live a happy and harmonious life together like before.
Best wishes.
You should consider a visit to surrogate court to explore a guardianship hearing, if this has not been done. Some Down's syndrome patients are docile and loving, and others have other genetic issues (violence and anger is sometimes part of the "package" associated with the syndrome) and can become a danger to their neighbors, parents and caregivers. Often, such patients do not know right from wrong. The issue of institutionalization should be considered, as well as placing under the supervision of a psychiatrist. This is not your fault and unlikely to get better. Nor is their any special program you can use to diminish his problems. You need a second opinion as to your options based upon an evaluation of your son by at least two psychiatrists.
Dear Lizzie41195,
If you are having problems with coping with your anger because of misunderstanding or because you have significant problems with people being inconsistent.
Unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world and wherever you go (school, college, new jobs etc) you will be meeting different people who may not always share the same thoughts and ideas as yourself.
As you are a 26 year old female (that's what you write, but the profile says you are male - mine came up like that too).
Anyway as you are a 26 year old female, keep a note of your monthly menstrual cycle. It is very common for women due to hormonal changes to get feelings of aggression and anger. If that is the case, you may benefit from Evening Primrose Oil, or the doc can prescribe hormonal treatment.
If your anger is unrelated to your monthly cycle, you would probably benefit from counselling (refer to my message to fuzzhead).
When there are problems and you always blame other people for your anger, it is your problem that you are angry - not theirs. Sometimes it is justifiable to be angry perhaps because you feel trapped or bullied by others.
You need to learn to control your anger and respond to people in a way that they will not treat you badly. Sometimes no matter how nice you are, there are people who will make things awkwad for you sometimes this is through jealously. The important thing (it is hard though) is try and not rise to it. You will become a stronger person for it.
You would most likely benefit from counselling to help you deal with your anger issues. (see my message to fuzzhead regarding my anger triggers and what I did to help me deal with it).
Best wishes,
take care and enjoy your life as best you can. You will be old before you know it. I will be 61 this year it only feels like yesterday that I was your age.
Let me know how you get on.
If you are having problems with coping with your anger because of misunderstanding or because you have significant problems with people being inconsistent.
Unfortunately we do not live in a perfect world and wherever you go (school, college, new jobs etc) you will be meeting different people who may not always share the same thoughts and ideas as yourself.
As you are a 26 year old female (that's what you write, but the profile says you are male - mine came up like that too).
Anyway as you are a 26 year old female, keep a note of your monthly menstrual cycle. It is very common for women due to hormonal changes to get feelings of aggression and anger. If that is the case, you may benefit from Evening Primrose Oil, or the doc can prescribe hormonal treatment.
If your anger is unrelated to your monthly cycle, you would probably benefit from counselling (refer to my message to fuzzhead).
When there are problems and you always blame other people for your anger, it is your problem that you are angry - not theirs. Sometimes it is justifiable to be angry perhaps because you feel trapped or bullied by others.
You need to learn to control your anger and respond to people in a way that they will not treat you badly. Sometimes no matter how nice you are, there are people who will make things awkwad for you sometimes this is through jealously. The important thing (it is hard though) is try and not rise to it. You will become a stronger person for it.
You would most likely benefit from counselling to help you deal with your anger issues. (see my message to fuzzhead regarding my anger triggers and what I did to help me deal with it).
Best wishes,
take care and enjoy your life as best you can. You will be old before you know it. I will be 61 this year it only feels like yesterday that I was your age.
Let me know how you get on.
First of all, I do not know about Downs.
But as a mother and grandmother I have had experienced from children getting voilet and angry including my 39 year old son and 32 year old daughter.
There are a few reasons for this, which I must admit, I don't think of at the time one of the children is voilent or aggressive.
I should imagine that the symptoms of voilence and aggression in a Downs will be no different from that from non-Downs children or adults.
As he is 26 years old, he may be angry and frustrated with the way his life is and the only thing he can lash out is at you.
Does he go out and have a cirlce of friends?
Does he have a hobby or outlet to get rid of his pent up feelings?
Does he have an underlying illness? I have observed that children as well as adults tend to get aggressive and/or violent when they are coming down with a bug of some sort or are suffering from a long term illness.
I have also noticed that you refer to him as "my downs boy" , and he may resent the fact that you are treating him like a young child as opposed to a young adult. Do you tell him what to do, or ask him what he would like to do?
Is he on any medications that can have these side effects of aggressive behaviour?
As he is 26 (just because he is Downs I would image he still has feelings like the rest of us non Downs do) he may have sexual urges and these are not being met. He may be angry because he would like to form a friendship with a female and is not able to, or there is some one he likes and there are obstacles in the way.
When I was in the maternity ward many years ago, there was a girl a few years younger than myself who was about to have a baby and she was Downs.
I would be inclined to speak with your doctor to refer him for counselling. The reason I say counselling is because he may open up to some one he does not know rather than speak freely and openly with you. Trained Counsellors (and there are different ones that specialise with different problems) would be able to help him. There are also different types of counselling, that is why it is important to speak with your doctor so that your lad is referred to a counsellor who deals and understands people with Downs as well as anger management.
Some years ago I was involved in a not very nice situation which was out of my control. Every time I saw a trigger on the TV or in the street, I was very angry and aggressive and swearing a lot and throwing gestures (of course no one heard or saw me do this). I myself received EMDR counselling. After participating in this form of counselling (this was group therapy and toward the end only 2 of out of 12 stayed the full course), I was able to deal and cope with the triggers that made me out of control and angry. The purpose of those sessions was not to erase the memory of what had happened (that is why some members left the group) it was so that we would be able to deal with it.
I hold NCFE Certificates in Counselling Levels 1 and 2. I chose not to carry on with Level 3 because I did not want to become a self-employed private counsellor because I retired on ill health grounds. My daughter carried on and achieved her Level 3. She counsells drug and alcohol abuse addicts.
Your young man certainly needs some form of help to get to the route of his violent and angry attitude toward you. It is only when the route cause is found that you will be able to get this sorted out.
Wishing all the best,
Please let me know how you get on.
But as a mother and grandmother I have had experienced from children getting voilet and angry including my 39 year old son and 32 year old daughter.
There are a few reasons for this, which I must admit, I don't think of at the time one of the children is voilent or aggressive.
I should imagine that the symptoms of voilence and aggression in a Downs will be no different from that from non-Downs children or adults.
As he is 26 years old, he may be angry and frustrated with the way his life is and the only thing he can lash out is at you.
Does he go out and have a cirlce of friends?
Does he have a hobby or outlet to get rid of his pent up feelings?
Does he have an underlying illness? I have observed that children as well as adults tend to get aggressive and/or violent when they are coming down with a bug of some sort or are suffering from a long term illness.
I have also noticed that you refer to him as "my downs boy" , and he may resent the fact that you are treating him like a young child as opposed to a young adult. Do you tell him what to do, or ask him what he would like to do?
Is he on any medications that can have these side effects of aggressive behaviour?
As he is 26 (just because he is Downs I would image he still has feelings like the rest of us non Downs do) he may have sexual urges and these are not being met. He may be angry because he would like to form a friendship with a female and is not able to, or there is some one he likes and there are obstacles in the way.
When I was in the maternity ward many years ago, there was a girl a few years younger than myself who was about to have a baby and she was Downs.
I would be inclined to speak with your doctor to refer him for counselling. The reason I say counselling is because he may open up to some one he does not know rather than speak freely and openly with you. Trained Counsellors (and there are different ones that specialise with different problems) would be able to help him. There are also different types of counselling, that is why it is important to speak with your doctor so that your lad is referred to a counsellor who deals and understands people with Downs as well as anger management.
Some years ago I was involved in a not very nice situation which was out of my control. Every time I saw a trigger on the TV or in the street, I was very angry and aggressive and swearing a lot and throwing gestures (of course no one heard or saw me do this). I myself received EMDR counselling. After participating in this form of counselling (this was group therapy and toward the end only 2 of out of 12 stayed the full course), I was able to deal and cope with the triggers that made me out of control and angry. The purpose of those sessions was not to erase the memory of what had happened (that is why some members left the group) it was so that we would be able to deal with it.
I hold NCFE Certificates in Counselling Levels 1 and 2. I chose not to carry on with Level 3 because I did not want to become a self-employed private counsellor because I retired on ill health grounds. My daughter carried on and achieved her Level 3. She counsells drug and alcohol abuse addicts.
Your young man certainly needs some form of help to get to the route of his violent and angry attitude toward you. It is only when the route cause is found that you will be able to get this sorted out.
Wishing all the best,
Please let me know how you get on.
I will try and help. I am a 26 year old female. I also have problems with anger. It's usually because of misunderstanding or because I have significant problems with people being inconsistent. Can you tell me what he gets angry about? Maybe I can help you better if I have more information.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the General Health Community
Top General Health Answerers
Nelson, New Zealand
Queensland, Australia
AL
way off the beaten track!, BC
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
In this unique and fascinating report from Missouri Medicine, world-renowned expert Dr. Raymond Moody examines what really happens when we almost die.
Think a loved one may be experiencing hearing loss? Here are five warning signs to watch for.
When it comes to your health, timing is everything
We’ve got a crash course on metabolism basics.
Learn what you can do to avoid ski injury and other common winter sports injury.
