How do I cope with 3 month wait?

[berkeleygirl420]

One week ago, I had unprotected sex.  I am a woman and had vaginal intercourse with a man.  He didn't ejaculate.  This was a huge mistake - he was basically a stranger.  Although he said that he didn't have any diseases, there is no reason for me to believe that he has been tested or that he was honest about his status.  He is a self-proclaimed alcoholic who recently broke up with a live-in girlfriend.  I have a really bad feeling about this.  I think that he is probably a pretty high risk person.  I have found myself in a state of utter panic, not knowing how to cope with the 3 month waiting period before I can get reliable results.  I keep reading all these stories where men express fear of being infected by women; people console them by stating how much more likely it is for women to get HIV from intercourse than it is for men to get it from women.  Well, for a woman, these stories aren't exactly calming.  Any advise on how to cope with this anxiety?

[Stupidmofoi]

I hear ya, I'm gettin my 3 month test result next week. It's been torture waiting. But I did find the anxiety to lift when I distracted myself with exercise and try and talk to someone. I found it also help just writing it down . Don't why. Your risk is low so try not to over think it

[JeanClaude]

As Jose has accurately stated, the Per act risk of being infected with HIV through receptive vaginal sex is quite low. You do not know the person's status( he has NOT been confirmed HIV +). This lowers your chances of infection further. You DO need an HIV antibody test at 6 weeks. If that is NEGATIVE( I absolutely expect it to be), that needs to be CONFIRMED at 12/13 Weeks. Do NOTexpect your NEGATIVE to change. In the future ALWAYS use condoms and non-petroleum based lubricant during vaginal or anal sex. During your wait, try to keep busy by doing the same things you've been doing(except unprotected sex). You have a MUCH larger chance of being infected with other STD's than HIV through unprotected sex.
-JC-

[jose883]

Hi berkeley, some things that might help you to cope with the three months. First of all, do not try to diagnose yourself, do not go a look in Internet for symptoms or other stuff related to HIV. I know is not easy, but try to avoid it. If you can, stay in this forum. The people managing this forum is very well trained on HIV risk. The risk of getting HIV by a single encounter is low (lowest for a man but also low for a woman). It is also important to know that NOT EVERY BODY HAS HIV. Remember that the mind is extremely powerful and can play you bad games. When you are in a state of anxiety you do not think properly (risk seem to be larger than actually is). Trust on experts. If you have some health concern go and see a Dr. You can test earlier than three months. If you ask for a 4th generation ELISA you can test at 28 days to have an accurate result of your status. If you ask for a 3rd generation test you can test at 6 weeks. And to test at 3 months is conclusive. But the MOST likely outcome is that you are NEGATIVE.

Maybe my story can help you a bit. I had unprotected sex six months ago. I barely new the girl. I thought that she could be a very promiscuous person. Besides I'm married and have two kids (I became totally paranoid and I though I was to infect my wife). I entered in a state of complete anxiety. I developed symptoms, several of them. However all my tests have been negative (11 tests!). Now I realize that if I had stayed more calm the things would have been better. But I know it is not easy at all to stay calm. I think you will be ok, just try to focus and stay close to professional help. You can ask for a medical opinion in the experts forum (here).

Hope this helps!

Jose